here is an update for you katy
I always forget about my livejournal, its sad. But I will try to not forget. Especially sicne this is all Katy has now so it's all I have to say stuff to her. Actually not, because I have her email, we text all the time and talk on the phone. Myspace was just.. there I guess. I dunno. It's her fault I have one anyway. But I love mine.. even if its time consuming. I understand why she got rid of it though. I do Katy!
So Thanksgiving was good. I went back to Illinois and got to see some friends. And spend a lot of time with Katy. Well not a lot.. but more than anyone else. I wish it had been more but I wasn't able to be there more than a few days. My mom, as always, caused an un godly amount of drama, a real big shock I know. From the time I got there she was yelling at me and ranting and I finally just gave it to her like it was. I told her that I was almost 19, i no longer lived with her and I moved away to get away from her. I came home because I stupidly missed her and she treats me the same way she did when I left.. like crap. I also told her that I didn't have to take her crap and if she wanted to act immature and like a drama queen then go ahead but I wouldn't be coming back to stay with her. I would stay at someone else's house and visit Cade and Risa and not bother her.
Of course she cried about it and got all "no i love you, please understand im so stressed..." blah blah blah. what the eff ever. shut yo face. I mean I love her, but come on! In the end we left with her pissed off because I wasn't paying attention to her and putting up with her crap. And then as I left she said "I will always love you, even if I don't like what you do sometimes.." wtf? What did i do? she was the one being stupid. What a hobo.
Thanksgiving was good though.
So on another note not related to my mom. I have this guy that I hang out with sometimes, he's jsut a friend, we have a good time and talk and stuff and it's fun. Well sometimes we are smooching buddies, usually when beer is involved. But not always. Anyway the weekend before I left for Illinois we were hanging out and it was him and me and a friend of his. Well of course we started smooching and then after awhile i felt someone elses hands on me and I was like wtf. And it was his friend. I was so confused. TO make a long story short they had had this talk about a threesome and thought I would be a good candidate to invite into it with them and... yeah. They said anything that happens here stays here blah blah blah and I was like ehh.. no? The one kid wouldn't take no for an answer he kept asking and trying to touch me and I felt uncomfortable and I was like eep. But my friend told him to lay off and he did. In the end it turns out his friend was like 16 or 17 and I was like.. yeah not only do I not want to sleep with him.. I dont want to go to jail because of him. Crazy. Plus I haven't even slept with my friend.. we have smooched and done stuff.. its like friends with benefits.. or booty calls.. im not sure. He is very attractive and he is smart and fun and amazing but I don't want to like date him. I enjoy kissing him though.
Living with Elena is hectic. Im so thankful I have them though. Sometimes its just.. crazy. I mean we are all living our own lives and stuff and Im having money issues because im making my own car payment and insurance payment and paying for my gas and food and i pay for school on my own. Its just hard. But I know it will get better and I will make it through and be okay. I just sometimes feel like Im a bother on their lives because I am an extra burden, one that they don't need. And I know they like having me here and everything, but it doesn't make me feel any less like I shoulnd't be here. For about a week I kept telling myself I was moving back home. But I can't. I can't give up. I have alife here now, I have this family, I have my amazing friends, and I have work and school. I love it all, but it is hard. I know things will get better, I jsut have to wait for it. And I am ready to just wait.
So Thanksgiving was good. I went back to Illinois and got to see some friends. And spend a lot of time with Katy. Well not a lot.. but more than anyone else. I wish it had been more but I wasn't able to be there more than a few days. My mom, as always, caused an un godly amount of drama, a real big shock I know. From the time I got there she was yelling at me and ranting and I finally just gave it to her like it was. I told her that I was almost 19, i no longer lived with her and I moved away to get away from her. I came home because I stupidly missed her and she treats me the same way she did when I left.. like crap. I also told her that I didn't have to take her crap and if she wanted to act immature and like a drama queen then go ahead but I wouldn't be coming back to stay with her. I would stay at someone else's house and visit Cade and Risa and not bother her.
Of course she cried about it and got all "no i love you, please understand im so stressed..." blah blah blah. what the eff ever. shut yo face. I mean I love her, but come on! In the end we left with her pissed off because I wasn't paying attention to her and putting up with her crap. And then as I left she said "I will always love you, even if I don't like what you do sometimes.." wtf? What did i do? she was the one being stupid. What a hobo.
Thanksgiving was good though.
So on another note not related to my mom. I have this guy that I hang out with sometimes, he's jsut a friend, we have a good time and talk and stuff and it's fun. Well sometimes we are smooching buddies, usually when beer is involved. But not always. Anyway the weekend before I left for Illinois we were hanging out and it was him and me and a friend of his. Well of course we started smooching and then after awhile i felt someone elses hands on me and I was like wtf. And it was his friend. I was so confused. TO make a long story short they had had this talk about a threesome and thought I would be a good candidate to invite into it with them and... yeah. They said anything that happens here stays here blah blah blah and I was like ehh.. no? The one kid wouldn't take no for an answer he kept asking and trying to touch me and I felt uncomfortable and I was like eep. But my friend told him to lay off and he did. In the end it turns out his friend was like 16 or 17 and I was like.. yeah not only do I not want to sleep with him.. I dont want to go to jail because of him. Crazy. Plus I haven't even slept with my friend.. we have smooched and done stuff.. its like friends with benefits.. or booty calls.. im not sure. He is very attractive and he is smart and fun and amazing but I don't want to like date him. I enjoy kissing him though.
Living with Elena is hectic. Im so thankful I have them though. Sometimes its just.. crazy. I mean we are all living our own lives and stuff and Im having money issues because im making my own car payment and insurance payment and paying for my gas and food and i pay for school on my own. Its just hard. But I know it will get better and I will make it through and be okay. I just sometimes feel like Im a bother on their lives because I am an extra burden, one that they don't need. And I know they like having me here and everything, but it doesn't make me feel any less like I shoulnd't be here. For about a week I kept telling myself I was moving back home. But I can't. I can't give up. I have alife here now, I have this family, I have my amazing friends, and I have work and school. I love it all, but it is hard. I know things will get better, I jsut have to wait for it. And I am ready to just wait.