(no subject)
Second one. It just keeps getting worse and worse. But I won't spoil it for you. Heehee.
Title: Kurama's Sister Kiru Scared yet?
Author: katslovetoplay (...)
Fic Rating:
Summary:
Kiru is Yoko Kurama's sister that has been searching for her brother since he was shot. When she finds him with the help of her partner, Riku, she decides to not interfer. That doesn't last long. Hieixoc Kuramaxoc (I am in an never-ending pool of joy.)
Sue DescriptionS-
Names: Riku and (da dun!) Kiru
Appearances:
Kiru- "I was wearing a black spaghetti strap that said, “Heaven doesn’t want me and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over,” in white and black training pants with a silver cross necklace around my neck and a black ribbon on my wrist. My sky blue eyes with gold lining stood out against the darkness of my bangs, which was in contrast against my pale complexion."
Riku- ... I can't find any. If you find it, tell me.
Origin: I don't know where Riku comes from yet, but Kiru is Kurama's sister. OMG HOW ORIGINAL. Youko apparently protected her or something, and they got seperated... somehow. Kiru can create portals and has these UBER COOL POWERS. I don't see why Youko had to protect her if she can create portals. Why couldn't she have used one to escape?
Good Points-
-The writing style is... okay.
-SOME canon characters are actually IN character.
Bad Points-
-Grammar and spelling are so bad, they could make your eyes bleed.
-Hiei going insane over 'sweet snow'. God, no. Just... no.
-Chapters are shorter than the roleplaying introductions that the authoress makes. >_>
-Random injections of Japanese. "Youki". "Ningen". "Baka". Use English, dammit! The language you SHOULD know!
-HieixOC, KuramaxOC. Need I say more?
-"Wind Demon". "Ribbon Whip". What the hell?
-Kiru is UBERPOWERFUL and Kurama's sister. Oh, and of course, she has to be 'cold' and say 'Hn" a lot. Those are like, requirements to be Hiei's sue.
-Riku is just... freaking... annoying.
-Kuwabara bashing. I mean, come on. Just because he isn't like the male characters in most anime series, y'know, perfect and wonderful and smart and romantic and blah... can't he have a little more respect? He's at least got a good heart.
-Random changes in point of view. Or POV. Pov, pove, pover...
Notes: .............................
Sample:
‘“Kurama, you just had to get shot by that damn hunter. But I swear we will find each other again. That damn hunter died a painful by my hands. I made sure he suffered for shooting you when you protected me. I will tear up all three worlds until I find you again. I will search for you until my dying day. We will be together again. Brother, I will find you.”’ Kiru hopped from tree to tree thinking about the promise she had made to herself and her brother.
She owed him her life for protecting her from the hunter. Determination shone clearly in her golden eyes as her silver fox ears sank flat against her head. She had been running through southern Makai for three days with her partner Riku flying high above her. They were searching for the Ningenkai portal ever since they heard a rumor that Youko Kurama was hiding in a human body in Ningenkai.
“Kiru, I see the portal.” Riku’s voice brought Kiru out of her thoughts. A few seconds later they stood before a portal made of blue and white swirls.
Riku stepped through the portal first. ‘Hold on Youko. I’m coming.’ With that she stepped through the portal