[Arashi Fanfic] Love, Courage and Cherry Pie: Chapter 8
I teased, and now, I present: Chapter 8
The unexpected change of events meant that Yuuki stayed in Canada for a little longer than expected. She slept during the day, and by night, consoled Aiba as best she could. Tomohisa called her everyday, their conversations shifted from ones of familiarity to ones of cordiality. Yuuki knew that they had grown apart after they started dating, and was wondering if it was possible for the two to go back to just being friends. Seeing Aiba every day, and staying by his side as he cried himself to sleep every night for the past few days, forced Yuuki to face her feelings honestly. She loved Aiba, not Tomohisa; and it'd be unfair to everyone if she continued to her relationship with Tomo-kun.
It was a week after Hikari's incident. The paternity test showed that it was Sho's baby after all, and Aiba was relieved but sad. In the end, Hikari chose Sho-nothing meant more to the girl than being by the rapper's side. Aiba decided to let her go, and nursed his heartbreak in silence. Fearing that she'd burden Aiba with her own feelings, Yuuki decided to leave, a week after she arrived. It was time for her to go back to Japan, and faced her own problems.
When Aiba woke up the next morning, fully clothed and in Yuuki's hotel room, she was gone, with all her belongings, and left only a note on the bedside table.
Aiba-chan,
Ohayou. By the time you read this, I'll probably be on the flight back to Tokyo already. I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye. It's time for me to go back and sort out my own unfinished business; I hope you can understand.
Hikari obviously has made her decision, and I hope you can accept it as it is. The girl loves you, as well as Sho, but only one of you are the right person for her, and it is the one who has her heart. Let her go, Aiba-chan. If she is yours, she will come back. If she does not, just be happy for her. She needs your support.
Please, let fate and destiny decide when we next meet. Wouldn't that be a fun game?
Yuuki
Tears fell on the page as Aiba read the note, staining the crisp white paper. He hadn't realised how much Yuuki's support meant to him til then; but she was gone. Wiping his tears roughly with the back of his hand, he dashed out of the room, ran along the corridor, until he reached Nino's room. Aiba pounded his fist on the door, desperately, until a very sleepy Nino finally opened it.
"Aiba-chan, what do you want now?" He asked, in his usual whiney voice.
"Yuuki-chan, where is she?"
"She's going back to Tokyo. Probably on the plane already," Nino replied.
Aiba's heart sank. She's gone…
"Ano ne, Aiba-chan," Nino said, "You really are a baka sometimes. I really can't understand why you're going after Hikari when Yuuki's just there, waiting for you."
"Eh? What are you talking about?" Aiba frowned, confusion in his eyes.
"She likes you, baka. Yuuki-chan likes you."
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Eighteen hours later, Yuuki was back in Tokyo, keys in hand and ready to open her apartment door. Tomohisa was right behind her, with her luggage. The two hadn't spoken since Yuuki came out of the airport terminal, and the silence was deafening.
"Tomo-kun, we need to talk."
"What about?"
"Us."
He said nothing. Yuuki continued. "I know you're still mad about me going to Canada, Tomo-kun. And I'm really sorry that I didn't discuss things with you before I made the decision. But I couldn't just sit here and watch Aiba go through all that pain, knowing I could be there supporting him. I'd do the same, if ever you're in the same situation. That's how important my friends are to me. But I know, it's no justification for the way I've treated you. I…haven't been honest with anyone lately, including to myself. I'm sorry about that."
He stopped, his eyes piercing hers. Although most claim that Yamapi almost always showed no emotions in his eyes, Yuuki could feel the pain he was going through. Taking a deep breath, she continued.
"When I came to Japan, I was expecting to spend a year here, going to the Johnny's shop every week and spending a fortune on all things related to my fandom. I didn't expect to meet you, become friends with you, and certainly not what followed. I didn't expect to fall in love, either. And getting into a relationship was the last thing on my mind. You changed all that, Tomo-kun. From the moment you answered in the cafeteria, you changed everything. Including me.
It was so nice to have you as a friend, Tomo-kun. Lunch was something I looked forward to everyday, because you'd be there. When you found out about my fandom, you were so gracious, and so kind. I never dreamed that I would have the chance to attend one of their concerts, let alone meet them in person. You've always been kind to me, like that Sunday of just going around Tokyo and do nothing but eat. You were, and still are, the best friend I've ever had. You're like family to me, like the brother I never had. I loved you, as a friend and sister would, but I fell in love with someone else.
I fell in love with Aiba, and I didn't know my own feelings until after he went to Canada. That day, at the airport, when we were sending off Nino and Ohno… I decided to let things go. I mean, he was in love with someone else, and there was no way he'd even think of me as anything more than a fan and friend. Besides, things were complicated enough already, and there was no need for me to further complicate matters. But my heart was aching inside, that night. I was confused, even though I knew, deep down, letting him go was the right thing to do. But it still hurt. I gave away my heart, and was left with nothing but an empty shell. Then you…
When you asked me to be your girlfriend that night, I didn't know what I really wanted. I was still lying to myself about my own feelings. I said yes, because I was selfish, and wanted someone who'd be there for me. I was sick of facing everything alone. But after I realised what it really meant, I tried my best to love you back. I did, Tomo-kun, I really did. But I couldn't. Because my heart was with someone else. And without it, I couldn’t love anyone. Including myself."
Yuuki's face was covered with tears, though her voice was deceivingly calm.
"So what are you suggesting? That we break up?" Tomohisa said coldly, trying to mask his pain.
"I didn't mean to hurt you, Tomo-kun. I shouldn't have said yes. I don't deserve to be your girlfriend: you deserve someone better than me. Someone who will love you, full-heartedly. Someone whose heart is with you."
She was crying now, overtaken by guilt and remorse for her previous decision which was the cause of Tomohisa's pain. With quiet sincerity, Yuuki said, "I wish I'd never asked to sit with you that time at the cafeteria. I shouldn't have. Then you wouldn't be in so much pain now. And honestly, if I could turn back time and do things differently, I would. If not talking to you means that you'd be spared from this, I'd gladly make that choice." Because you have no idea how much it hurts to see you in such pain, knowing that I caused it.
"You're right. You shouldn't have talked to me. We'd all be better off without you, Yuuki. Like our lives weren't complicated and messed up enough already." Tomohisa replied icily, his words cutting Yuuki into a million pieces. And without so much as a second glance at her, he grabbed his car keys and left, slamming the door behind him.
"I'm sorry…" Yuuki wept, as she stared at the door. "I'm so sorry, Tomo-kun…"
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She likes you, baka. Yuuki likes you.
The lone pianist at the hotel's bar was playing Chopin's Waltz No. 12, but it was Nino's words which echoed in Aiba's ears. It echoed and echoed, like the buzzing of a fly stuck in his zone of gravity. She likes me. Yuuki likes me. He didn't know whether he should be glad, or sad for Yuuki-it must have been so painful for her as she listened to his problems and sufferings. And still, she was his pillar of support through all this...
And I was too caught up being in love with Hikari to have noticed anything.
He looked at the note again, the one with Yuuki's even and warm handwriting. The tone was friendly enough, but was there more than just friendly affection in those words?
Please, let fate and destiny decide when we next meet. She didn't want him to look for her. Why? Was Nino right? Did Yuuki really like him?
In a single gulp, he downed what was left of his glass of whisky on ice, and left the bar, feeling no better than when he came in.
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Yuuki didn't leave her apartment for days. She was depressed and guilt-ridden; her eyes swollen and red from her tears. Most of the time she sat, sunken into a corner, and wept until she had no energy left. She was too depressed to eat, or go out, or do anything but sulk, cry then sleep.It was some while after her self-imposed imprisonment that her doorbell rang, and Yuuki found Hisako on the other side of the door.
"Oh my God, I wasn't expecting this!" Hisako exclaimed. " What on earth happened?"
Yuuki's lip quivered, her eyes filling up with tears. Hisako sighed, and stepped inside.
"Right. We're going out." Hisako said, as she made her way to Yuuki's wardrobe.
" But I don't want to go out."
"I'm not giving you a choice, okay," Hisako said, as she thrust some clean clothes into Yuuki's arms. "Now go and get changed."
Yuuki kept her eyes downcast through the journey. She didn't know, nor did she want to know where Hisako was taking her. She knew that her friend meant well, but nothing could possibly cheer her up. Nothing, except, maybe, Tomo-kun's forgiveness. Even then, Yuuki couldn't forgive herself for hurting him, a most important friend, in the way she did. Tears flowed again at that thought.
"We're here. Come on, Yuuki," Hisako said, as she pulled Yuuki by the arm. Yuuki followed blindly, not knowing or caring where she was. It seemed an eternity before Hisako stopped.
"Just wait here for a second, I'll be right back." Hisako instructed, as she left her friend's side.
Yuuki noticed that she was in what looked like a conference and make up room, with food, clothes and towels everywhere. It took Yuuki a moment to realise where she was-backstage of a concert. A Johnnys concert, from the looks of the costumes, too, which could only mean-
I'm in News' dressing room.
Upon her realisation, Yuuki grabbed her bag and dashed to the door, and hope that no one would see her as she made her escape. But it was too late: Hisako was already on the other side, with someone behind her.
"I hope you weren't trying to run away again, Yuuki. You guys," Hisako turned, and pushed a sweaty and tired Tomohisa into the room, "are not leaving this room until you've sorted things out. And you, Yuuki, give him a chance to speak."
With that, the door was slammed closed.
Yuuki turned her back to Tomohisa, not wanting him to see her swollen eyes and general state of disarray. She heard him sigh, before he pulled out a chair and sat down. It was a while before either spoke, both looking for the right words to say in their minds.
"I'm sorry-" Both said together, as Yuuki turned towards him. Their eyes met momentarily, before Yuuki casted them down again. She bit her lip as she looked down, afraid of what she may see on his face. She felt her tears starting to sting her eyes again, and turned her head before Tomohisa could see them fall.
"I'm sorry about the things I said the other day. I didn't really mean them. Guess I was just upset about the truth I've been trying to run away from was thrust right before my face. Yes, Yuuki, I knew you only thought of me as a good friend and nothing more. I knew you didn't like me, but had fallen for someone else. Even before you realised it yourself."
Yuuki looked at him, with surprise in her brown eyes. "You…you knew?"
"Yeah. Well, I guessed as much. I was jealous, you know. That first time you went to the zoo, it was with Aiba-kun, ne? It probably started then. Figured if I could get you before he did, it'll all be fine. But I was mistaken. You liked me as nothing more than just a friend. But you didn't love me; you loved him. Paper doors aren't great, if you want private conversations, you know." Tomohisa smiled, as though recalling some sweet distant memory.
"When you asked if you could sit with me that day, I was happy that someone finally saw me for who I am, as a person, rather than a teen idol. It was great. You never once asked me, or any of us, for anything more than just the simplest friendship. You didn't see us as Johnnys, you just saw us for who we were. So don't you ever say that you've caused us nothing but pain, Yuuki. You're probably one of the best things to ever happen to us. You've been a great friend, Yuuki, almost like a sister. I hope we can continue to be friends." He said, with full sincerity. He walked towards her, and chuckled as he wiped tears off her face. "Stop crying, silly."
Yuuki sniffed, and whined, "I can't help it." The waterworks started again, and Tomohisa laughed as he hugged her, with brotherly affection.
Outside the door, Hisako breathed a sigh of relief, and left.
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