Occupational Hazard (1/3) (for xingphonic)
Title: Occupational Hazard
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff
Word Count: 15,531 words
Recipient: xingphonic
Summary: What happens when the boss of the secret spy organization you are a part of is also a self-proclaimed matchmaker? Feelings, of course. A lot of feelings.
Author's Note: The request asked for silver-haired Yamada and ( Read more... )
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff
Word Count: 15,531 words
Recipient: xingphonic
Summary: What happens when the boss of the secret spy organization you are a part of is also a self-proclaimed matchmaker? Feelings, of course. A lot of feelings.
Author's Note: The request asked for silver-haired Yamada and ( Read more... )
Firstly I am so sorry if my request in itself was what gave you problems - i promise you that was not my intention;;;;;;
;u; i’ve had an emotional day, so i will probably be crying more on you throughout the course of reading this, bc i’m live-commenting this on all three parts ok <3
*takes a deep breath and begins reading*
Yamada has a knife yamada has a knife yamada has a kniiiiiiiiiiiiiiife and he’s handling it like a boss sobs
CHINEN YURI IS TYPING OUT SOME SORT OF ILLEGAL CODE i have no words to describe my feelings about programmers in fic, especially such snarky ones like chinen.
Yamada. Is. Going. To. Babysit. Yuto.
whimpers because inoo is their boss ohgod inoo
YAMADA I KNOW YOU ARE BADASS BUT STOP THROWING KNIVES ESPECIALLY AT DOORS ALSO HELLO SHIDA
/“I didn’t miss anyway.”/
Only ten minutes in and Chinen is so done with everything already
HOLY TERRITORY OF MASCULINITY CHINEN YURI PLS
“five different levels of judgemental all at once” shidaaaaaaa ;u;
inoo making people’s lives difficult is one of my favourite things ngl
“And I have three hypodermic needles with muscle paralysis and breathing constriction drugs,”
Shida out-badasses Yamada on any kind of day
silver hair yamadaaaaaaaaa i know it’s mentioned in the author’s note but jfc i’m never going to get over yamada’s silver hair T_T <3
“Because you’re better with knives and guns and using your muscles for more… physical things.
i feel as though her hesitation is going to become clear later or is that wishful thinking;;
(seriously though, /yamada muscles/)
“I need to earn my keep,” Yamada said as a response. Chinen sat up and met Yamada’s gaze.
“Maybe something good would come out of it,” he said, stretching his arms and yawning. “Inoo-kun got involved after all. He’s got great taste.”
Yamada furrowed his eyebrows. “…why are you making it sound like I’m going to a cake buffet?” he said suspiciously. “It’s an official assignment!”
Chinen shared a grin with Shida. “Oh I dunno, maybe you’ll get some pretty good mancake after this mission. Pun intended, all rights reserved,” he said.
THIS ENTIRE EXCHANGE I DON’T EVEN CHINEN YURI YOU ARE INCORRIGIBLE
“I need a constant reminder of why I’m friends with you guys.”
“Because you don’t have much of a choice pool,”
/snorts
INOO WONDERS WHY YAMADA AND SHIDA DIDN’T GET TOGETHER INOO QUIT TRYING TO MATCHMAKE/GOSSIP ABOUT YOUR EMPLOYEES OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE TRYING TO DO
this friendship <3333333333 ugh their friendship is the best
“can’t we be professors instead” yamada did you forget the part where you’re twenty one
“Plus, we don’t have the height to look the part.”
one point to chinen
“Me either,” Chinen murmured, leaning his head on Yamada’s shoulder as he yawned. “I hate kids.”
chinen yuri everyone.
but also, same, chinen, same.
i should probably pause here and say that when i first opened this i forgot i should actually expect to scream over chinen as much as i am now which is frankly pretty stupid of me but you quickly reminded me. i will try not to be so repetitive in my endless sobbing but you can safely assume that every word that comes out of chinen’s mouth here i am screaming about because your snark is perfect
but chinen /is/ an old man in disguise
…………yamada’s silver bed hair now that is a good image;;
omg “are you having fatherly feelings and wanted to send me to school” i honestly thought chinen would be undercover student with yamada as well because i just assumed, and now i’m just cracking up at yamada’s skepticism
inoo is so mysterious i love it
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii yuto hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
ofc chinen calls him yutti immediately YUTO-PON /STOP/
……../oh/ sounds about right
CAN I CALL YOU YAMA-CHAN THEN
INOO KEI YOU ARE RIDICULOUS. cue tears because oh god all inoo playing such a large role here, i wasn’t joking when i said i’d be happy with inoo being like, the person sweeping corridors or something, or that boy who always sat in the back of the classroom dsfhajlkjfhas but he’s /the actual troll boss who likes to matchmake employees and make people’s lives hard and bet on various situations/ and i have so many feelings
inoo you owe him strawberries
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CHINEN WHY ARE YOU HERE AHAHAHAHAHAH besides making yamada’s life more difficult than it already is sobs he has to play a student /yama-channnnnn/
"what the hell puberty" i snorted
and then chinen just leaves hahahahaha jfc is inoo playing matchmaker again i just
chinen simpers at yamada my brain is gonna explode
“it’s like i’m asking for your permission to stalk you or something”
yamada bb
……suzuka-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan ;-;
HI HIKARU PLEASE DON’T TAKE YOUR EYE OUT WITH YOUR BILLIARD STICK
inoo raising his teacup in greeting is a charming image and also “inoo’s code word for 'i want all the juicy details’” FFS INOO 200% DONE WITH YOU AND YOUR PENCHANT FOR GOSSIP by which i mean don’t stop, everything is perfect and i am a sobbing mess
YOU KNOW WHAT HE’S LIKE WHEN HE FEELS LIKE PLAYING CUPID
MATCHMAKER INOO I JUST <3
hiiiiiii kamiki
;;;;kamiki is a programmer too ;u; hello
LOL YAMADA HAS HOMEWORK YOU POOR THING
“No way, he finished all the homework in an hour, and refused to help me answer mine, by the way. He just stayed up late playing online MMORPGs because his teammates live on the other side of the International Date Line”
ofc. /ofc/
CHINEN’S ASLEEP ALREADY will never not enjoy how shameless he is
i wonder what his official assignment is I’m so intriguedddddddddd
ew ew ew ew ew three hour+ lectures are the worst ljsdhfkjhfda
second day of class he sleeps on Yuto’s shoulder GOOD JOB
(did chinen take a picture)
aww yamada please stop beating yourself up <3
His voice, soft and quiet, carried across the room. Yamada reluctantly looked up, his brown eyes meeting Yuto’s brown ones that were almost amber in the light. Yuto stared at Yamada before he slowly reached out his hand, hesitating before gently holding Yamada’s chin and softly tugging at it, making Yamada release the lip he was chewing on.
“I’m here. I’m fine. Okay? I won’t disappear that easily,” Yuto said.
.__________________________________________.
The two blades met mid-air, both impaling the hardwood floor.
oh my god this is intense knives everywhere, all the time and yamada’s only response is a dazed “oh hi guys :D"
“I just try to prepare myself and make sure to act surprised when he’s there to see it.”
most excellent.
Yuto and Suzuka are best friends. Suzuuuuuuukaaaaaaa. ugh this is cute, so cute. and aww, olaf phone case /rolls everywhere
Because if he thinks about it too much, he’ll just remember how similar it had sounded to the time Yuto had promised he won’t disappear.
._.
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