tears fall like bricks

[yy5487]

someday when it's all said and done, i hope that i won't have to worry anymore. i hope i won't have to get that feeling where my hearts all tied up and wrenched. i wish we could all appreciate everything we have and realize that when it's gone, it's gone. i can't believe how many times i've let myself get hurt again and again by the same person. and in the end, it's my own damn fault cuz i just could never let go. so... let's see what happens when i let everyone go. do you think it would really help to let go of everyone who's meant something to me and then has consequently hurt me? man, if my friend hurt me, i would have difficulty being friends with them, but if someone even closer to me hurt me, how can i be friends with them? how i can go on and pretend like nothing ever happened? it's impossible. there are only four days of school left. and yet, although i know i will miss everyone, i'm happy taht it's all ending. i dont' know ho much longer i could take. and the truth is, i can't wait to start over at college, to start fresh, wherever i'm going. whatever happens in the end, i hope everyone knows that i've tried my best to be a good person, to be nice to everyone and to be considerate and understanding... but at this point, as i near the end and think about everyone i've known, i can't say that too many people have returned the favor. and although i knew that not everyone would be as considerate and understanding, it just hurts to have to put yourself out there every fucking day, and most days, getting nothing back. i hope one day i won't have to worry anymore. but i know i won't see that day for many many many years. cuz, i'll worry about my friends, my family, and hopefully in the future, my kids. maybe what i'm really trying to say is that, hopefully, i'll worry about the people i know and care about, and that they'll worry about me too. i guess that's why even though my parents can annoy me, piss me off, or make me really angry, i still worry about them, cuz i know that they worry about me too and that i matter to them. one day i'll find that. and maybe then i wont' have to keep on dealing with these bricks that fall at my feet.

how can you say your life feels empty? i'll always be there for you... but maybe i'm not the one you want