Mystery's histories
Bismillah!
I went through my previous journal and snagged all the entries of interest. These have now been retconned into this journal.
The new, old entries (calendar years 2002-2005) include entries from my *first* LJ, when I did an exercise like this in 2005! Much shorter, and I may look at that journal again to see if there's more that 2007-me would like to salvage.
2002-me wrote more elaborately, synaesthetic weavings and meanderings of a life in turmoil.
2003, 04, 05-me wrote with lots of exclamation points, alhamdulillah, and pious exclamations! I got married! I was in healing school! I was way into the walking, and still shared my heart on the internet.
I miss some of that. These last two years in grad school, away from tariqah beloveds, have not been great for my deen and my walking. The love, the intensity, the earnestness has dried up. What will I do to regain it?
Writing is projected-self, refracted-self, and I don't want to idealize the first years of my marriage over now. Sh. & I have grown together, I'm smoother, more capable; things were always broken at the Land, I was always mad at somebody for cavalier treatment of Islam in favor of some illusion, and I was just as poor then!
Where is growth, and where is stasis, and where is memory, and where is truth?
I went through my previous journal and snagged all the entries of interest. These have now been retconned into this journal.
The new, old entries (calendar years 2002-2005) include entries from my *first* LJ, when I did an exercise like this in 2005! Much shorter, and I may look at that journal again to see if there's more that 2007-me would like to salvage.
2002-me wrote more elaborately, synaesthetic weavings and meanderings of a life in turmoil.
2003, 04, 05-me wrote with lots of exclamation points, alhamdulillah, and pious exclamations! I got married! I was in healing school! I was way into the walking, and still shared my heart on the internet.
I miss some of that. These last two years in grad school, away from tariqah beloveds, have not been great for my deen and my walking. The love, the intensity, the earnestness has dried up. What will I do to regain it?
Writing is projected-self, refracted-self, and I don't want to idealize the first years of my marriage over now. Sh. & I have grown together, I'm smoother, more capable; things were always broken at the Land, I was always mad at somebody for cavalier treatment of Islam in favor of some illusion, and I was just as poor then!
Where is growth, and where is stasis, and where is memory, and where is truth?