Will it be in his kiss?
I think every guy has been the one for me since I was 12. So how will I know when it's for real because probably the next long term relationship I'm in .. or any for that matter .. I'll be thinking this is it.
So when James and I were going out he said he knew I was the one .. maybe he thinks the same as me. I knew at that time I needed different things (after already imagining our long lives together) ... So I went my separate way. He was really hurt and tried to hard to get me back.
So when I met Kyle roles of that situation reversed. I care for him, I don't ask for a relationship from him, or now even for benefits since he called it Friends because I know where he's coming from and he doesn't need to be upset because of me. So how much do I really care for him?
If I think about being there for him no matter what the circumstances, does that say something? Is that what people usually do anyway? If he feels like I did with James, then it's truly nothing more then it already is. Two people who had something and who will keep in touch.
If I want more from it someday, does that mean something? Or is that just my 12 year old stage ... thinking every guy is the one, thinking that one day we'll see each other again and it will love and it will be forever?
I'm home living my life and doing my own thing. I'm with my friends, I'm at my job I'm happy with where I am, but at the same time I keep thinking about this because I don't even know the answer.
One day is it's completely over, other then his friendship, the next day it's I care about him and hope that one day he'll see I can be there for him.
I feel like I can't separate fantasy from reality. I already know what the reality is, so why don't I want to accept it? What does that mean?
So when James and I were going out he said he knew I was the one .. maybe he thinks the same as me. I knew at that time I needed different things (after already imagining our long lives together) ... So I went my separate way. He was really hurt and tried to hard to get me back.
So when I met Kyle roles of that situation reversed. I care for him, I don't ask for a relationship from him, or now even for benefits since he called it Friends because I know where he's coming from and he doesn't need to be upset because of me. So how much do I really care for him?
If I think about being there for him no matter what the circumstances, does that say something? Is that what people usually do anyway? If he feels like I did with James, then it's truly nothing more then it already is. Two people who had something and who will keep in touch.
If I want more from it someday, does that mean something? Or is that just my 12 year old stage ... thinking every guy is the one, thinking that one day we'll see each other again and it will love and it will be forever?
I'm home living my life and doing my own thing. I'm with my friends, I'm at my job I'm happy with where I am, but at the same time I keep thinking about this because I don't even know the answer.
One day is it's completely over, other then his friendship, the next day it's I care about him and hope that one day he'll see I can be there for him.
I feel like I can't separate fantasy from reality. I already know what the reality is, so why don't I want to accept it? What does that mean?