Nationality Meme. Because I use my LJ for useful stuff now.

Aug 04, 2010 09:59

Go to Google and type, "You know you're from (your country here) when..." and click 'I'm feeling lucky.' Copy/paste the list, and bold what applies to you!

Result: I think I'm rather British.

1. You know how to (correctly) pronounce Edinburgh, Buckinghamshire, Welwyn Garden City, Loughborough and Gloucester.

2. You know how to use HP sauce, Worcestershire sauce, BBQ sauce, and you do use them. All the time.

3. Tea is a drink and a meal.

4. English people don't only drive on the left, they walk on the left.

5. You own at least 5 umbrellas and 3 overcoats.

6. The weather forecast for every day of the year, all year, is one of the following:

a) Cloudy
b) Rain
c) Showers
d) Snow
e) Hail
f) Strong wind
g) All of the above

7. You know what pub stands for, and where the nearest one to your house is.

8. You love beer. Warm. And flat.

9. 5 pounds for a pack of cigarettes is normal for you unless you travel abroad, in which case you bring them back in thousands, and refuse to buy cigarettes in England should you run out.

10. There is a 70% chance the last time you saw a completely blue sky it was outside the UK.

11. When English people actually use the word "sky", 99% of the time it refers to the satellite TV.

12. Talking about the weather is a perfectly acceptable way to start a conversation.

13. A conversation about the weather will usually derive into one about football, followed by drinking. Beer. In a pub.

14. You've either seen every episode of Eastenders and Hollyoaks, or you've always heard about them and never seen a single episode.

15. You recognise Northern, Southern, Liverpool, Scottish, Welsh and Irish accents within the first 6 words of conversation.

16. Chips are an independent dish, not a side order.

17. You hate the size and weight of English coins. (Especially 2p ones)

18. You think every website should end in .co.uk, and google.com is for fancy foreigners.

19. You've seen a 50 pound note, and pissed off your corner shop by using one to buy a packet of cigarettes. (Unless you're foreign, refer to number 9.)

20. You've seen a cricket and/or rugby match, and you know the only countries that play these sports are either part of the UK, British Isles, or of the British Commonwealth.

21. You call people "mate" even women. Ending sentences with "cheers mate" is considered polite and courteous in some parts of England.

22. You understand English humour, and have somehow managed to appreciate it. You find John Cleese and Rowan Atkinson funny.

23. You know at least 2 of the sign anagrams from the Fawlty Towers hotel. (eg: Watery Fowls, Warty Towels, Fatty Owls, Flowery Twats)

24. Curry is as English as sausage and mash with onion gravy. And you love them both so much.

25. You've been to the Brighton pier. Twice.

26. "Your calling credit is running low. Please arrange a top-up."

27. You love cashback, even though you NEVER get any. However, you get pissed off when you go abroad because shop attendants don't ask you if you want cashback.

28. You know what a chav is and how to spot one.

29. You've seen an umbrella shop.

30. You own at least one fake ID.

31. You've been fined for "losing"/not having your train ticket.

32. The cheapest taxi to anywhere, ever, is 10 pounds. If the fare says 8.49, the driver presses a button which rounds it up to 10, (he claims he helped you with your luggage, but you don't have any...)

33. You've had a one on one fight with a daddy long legs. And lost.

34. When you go to McDonalds you fill at least 10 of those sauce things just because they're free. You know fine well you won't use more than 2.

35. Someone has randomly tried to sell you marijuana before. They proposed it to you as "bangin' dro", "kwality skunk" or simply "sensi", and the qualitative description was "bang bang", or a similar onomatopoeia.

36. You've been referred to as "mate" by at least 500 people, 75% of whom you don't know.

37. Smoking 'rollies' is completely socially acceptable. Even though they look like joints.

38. It is EXTREMELY rare for someone you don't know to ask you for a cigarette, and if they do they beg. Like REALLY beg: "Excuse me mate (You don't know the person, see Nº36.) Can i ask u for a massive favour? Can I please nick a fag from you?" "Thanks I'm sorry to be rude but can I nick another one for my mate, mate? If not thats cool bruv. Cheers Mate" (See 21.)

39. You've gotten into a fight for supporting the other team than that of the chavs (See 28.) sitting next to you.

40. You've gotten into a fight for not being English.

41. You've gotten into a fight for being English, but from a different part of England.

42. You get into fights weekly.

43. You drink cider. With blackcurrant.

44. You've bought a 2L bottle of strongbow for 69p and drank it at home, alone. This doesn't seem to shock people, especially university students.

45. Clothes from topshop/topman are cool in England, but you can't seem to wear them anywhere else in the world.

46. Emos don't shock you any more. You even know a couple.

47. Grapes have seeds? REALLY!?

48. You've had your phone stolen at least twice. Once at least by a chav.

49. As you're reading this, it's probably raining in England.

50. You know the number of at least one Domino's Pizza off by heart. And that of three other takeaways.

51. If you're brave enough to drive on the left, you've knocked at least 6 couriers off their bikes before.

52. You hate Rihanna for ruining summer 2007 with the song "Umbrella" (Weather forecast for July/August 07 = SHOWERS - See Nº6.)

53. You always order a double or triple when ordering spirits.

54. In foreign countries, you blame people for not speaking English, never yourself for not speaking the native language.

55. Kettles. I don't have to explain this one.

56. Ribena.

57. You despise Microsoft and their "US English".

58. The use of the word "wicked". Enough said.

misc, writersblock, life

Previous post Next post
Up