Jin's New Year Resolution: To Succeed in Exiting a Convenience Store
More fanfiction. Woo~ Ahaha.
Title: The Battle Before Christmas AKA Jin vs. A Convenience Store Door
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG-13 [for language and some humor]
Summary: Jin hated convenience stores. But what he hated the most… was THE EXIT DOOR.
Disclaimer: If I owned Jin, he’d be a comedy act instead of an idol. XDD But long story short- I’m not Johnny-san.
Notes: Inspired by a video that my friend showed me of Jin trying to open a door. XD Enjoy, everyone. More Christmas stories to come hopefully. ^__^ [Not beta-ed]
Jin hated convenience stores.
Jin didn’t like being sent to them, even if it was just to pick up some beer and ice cream and candy canes for a little Christmas shindig. He always got confused as to where everything was (“OH MY FREAKING GOD, WHERE’S THE FREAKING ICE CREAM?!” “Uh… Sir? It’s right behind you.” “… Riiiight.”), and he didn’t enjoy wearing a disguise to prevent from being jumped either (“Jin, what the hell is up with that disgusting mustache? It looks like it’s coming out of your nose.” “You know what’s disgusting, Ryo? YOUR DEFORMED FACE.”).
But what he hated the most…
“Have a good Christmas, sir.”
“Same to you,” Jin said kindly to the convenience store girl as he grabbed his bags and walked away from the counter. The smile on his face immediately faultered as he glared at the top thing on his long, dragging “what-I-hate-about-convenience-stores” list.
TEH EXIT DOOR.
He blew frustrated air towards his bangs.
“You,” he dramatically growled, wagging a finger at the silent door, “are NOT going to ruin my Christmas eve!” He flailed. “I’M GONNA GET HOME AND GET DRUNK WITH EVERYONE (AND HELL YEAH IS UCHI LEGAL NOW, THANK YOU VERY MUCH) AND WE’RE GONNA FINALLY HANDCUFF RYO TO A BLENDER AND BEAT HIM UP WITH COLORFUL CANDY CANES.”
The convenience store girl stared. The other three shadowy people in the store stared as well.
Who WOULDN’T stare at a screaming idiot yelling at a door and waving his arms like at the speed that helicopter propellors spin at with a freakishly strange and foreign mustache eating his face?
Jin’s eyes narrowed as he got in his ready stance; arms pulled back, knees slightly bent, the usual look of stupidity on his face. The door was mocking him, sitting there in all it’s glory and shininess and looking all pretty with it’s cute little wreath and little lights on it.
But when Jin was done, OHHHH- he’d be cuter than that stupid door.
Hell, he WAS cuter than that stupid door.
“PREPARE TO BE FINIIIIIIIIIISHED.” Jin lunged at the door, arms still crazily waving, large mustache flopping. As he neared the door, he pushed himself to go faster. He was gonna make it. He was gonna make it. He-
Crashed into the door and fell back with a loud thud.
“STUPID DOOR,” Jin cried, jumping up to his feet sluggishly like a drunken fighter. “I DEMAND THAT TODAY YOU WOULD SEE THE LIGHT. SEE THE FUCKING LIGHT ALREADY. THE LIGHT OF HELL. YES.”
Again and again, Jin ran into the door, trying to knock it down. But he just kept on falling on his stupid butt, yelling stupid, nonsensical ‘battle’ cries (“OH, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? YOUR MOM WAS AN OUTHOUSE DOOR. WHAT THEN, BITCH.”)
He also tried other things, such as pelting the door with oranges and trying to run out of the store when a person would enter. But the door would quickly close and he’d hit his pretty little head against it as usual.
On the fifty-seventh try, right as Jin was about to meet the door with his lovely little head, three pairs of hands grab his flailing arms and pulled him back.
“Oh, dear GOD, I can’t take this anymore,” the tallest man sighed, shaking his head and dropping it down on Jin’s shoulder. Jin recognized him to be Uchi; the lips were a dead giveaway (“Uchi, let’s switch lips. Here’s a butcher knife.” Uchi’s eyes widened.) and he was wearing the badly knit hat Tegoshi made him. The other two men, who were obviously Ryo and Yamapi, nodded in agreement, although they were really enjoying Jin’s failed attempts to opening the door (“AHAHAHA. DID THAT BROOM REALLY HIT HIM IN THE ASS?” Pi was clutching his stomach, uncontrollable laughter emitting from him. “I DON’T KNOW, BUT THAT WAS FUCKING FUNNY,” Ryo laughed, wiping his eyes. “You guys! Stop being mean!” Uchi cried.).
Jin’s eyes widened. “What are you guys doing here?! THIS IS MY WAR.”
Ryo scowled, “You fucking idiot, this is the worst ‘war’ that you’ve ever started.”
“I DIDN’T START IT. BLAME THE STUPID DOOR,” Jin wailed.
“Jin,” Pi began, “You damaged all the beer, crushed all the candy canes, and the ice cream is dripping from the bag. Can it get any worse?”
“It’s like the bags had orgasms-“
“Ryo!” Uchi threw one bag at his ‘deformed’ face.
“Jin…” Pi released Jin’s arm and hopped to the door. “You know… YOU’RE SUPPOSE TO PULL THE DOOR,” he stated, pulling the door ajar.
Jin stared.
“… OHMIGOD. WHEN I WENT INTO THE STORE, I HAD TO PUSH IT OPEN. DUDE, THE DOOR IS FUCKING EVIL. BUT IT’S A GENIUS. I RESPECT THAT.”
Pi buried his face into his hands. “… Someone, help me.”
“I don’t get why you’re dating this guy,” Ryo sighed, shaking his head at Yamapi.
“… Come on, Ryo-chan,” Uchi said, tugging on his best friend’s sleeve. “Let’s go buy your favorite ice cream- sperm flavored.” Uchi rolled his eyes and walked off to find the ice cream.
“Oh, come on! That joke was funny!”
~*~
“Merry Christmas,” the convenience store girl chirped nervously and cringed at Jin, who was trying to knock the door down with Pi holding him back.
“Ah, just ignore our friend. He’s an idiot,” Uchi said, smiling sweetly as he grabbed the bags. “And Merry Christmas to you, as well.” The girl shyly nodded.
Ryo took a bag from Uchi (who made sure it wasn’t the ice cream) and said, “You won’t be seeing that loser in this store again.”
“Hopefully?” Ryo noticed that the girl was wearing a name bracelet: “I ♥Akanishi Jin,” it said. Ryo tried hard not to laugh.
“Definitely. Merry Christmas.”
If only she knew that the bumbling idiot was the guy she ‘loved.’
~*~
… Haha, was that okay? :3
Jin’s New Year Resolution is to succeed exiting a convenience store. XDDD
Comments are love~ ^o^
Title: The Battle Before Christmas AKA Jin vs. A Convenience Store Door
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG-13 [for language and some humor]
Summary: Jin hated convenience stores. But what he hated the most… was THE EXIT DOOR.
Disclaimer: If I owned Jin, he’d be a comedy act instead of an idol. XDD But long story short- I’m not Johnny-san.
Notes: Inspired by a video that my friend showed me of Jin trying to open a door. XD Enjoy, everyone. More Christmas stories to come hopefully. ^__^ [Not beta-ed]
Jin hated convenience stores.
Jin didn’t like being sent to them, even if it was just to pick up some beer and ice cream and candy canes for a little Christmas shindig. He always got confused as to where everything was (“OH MY FREAKING GOD, WHERE’S THE FREAKING ICE CREAM?!” “Uh… Sir? It’s right behind you.” “… Riiiight.”), and he didn’t enjoy wearing a disguise to prevent from being jumped either (“Jin, what the hell is up with that disgusting mustache? It looks like it’s coming out of your nose.” “You know what’s disgusting, Ryo? YOUR DEFORMED FACE.”).
But what he hated the most…
“Have a good Christmas, sir.”
“Same to you,” Jin said kindly to the convenience store girl as he grabbed his bags and walked away from the counter. The smile on his face immediately faultered as he glared at the top thing on his long, dragging “what-I-hate-about-convenience-stores” list.
TEH EXIT DOOR.
He blew frustrated air towards his bangs.
“You,” he dramatically growled, wagging a finger at the silent door, “are NOT going to ruin my Christmas eve!” He flailed. “I’M GONNA GET HOME AND GET DRUNK WITH EVERYONE (AND HELL YEAH IS UCHI LEGAL NOW, THANK YOU VERY MUCH) AND WE’RE GONNA FINALLY HANDCUFF RYO TO A BLENDER AND BEAT HIM UP WITH COLORFUL CANDY CANES.”
The convenience store girl stared. The other three shadowy people in the store stared as well.
Who WOULDN’T stare at a screaming idiot yelling at a door and waving his arms like at the speed that helicopter propellors spin at with a freakishly strange and foreign mustache eating his face?
Jin’s eyes narrowed as he got in his ready stance; arms pulled back, knees slightly bent, the usual look of stupidity on his face. The door was mocking him, sitting there in all it’s glory and shininess and looking all pretty with it’s cute little wreath and little lights on it.
But when Jin was done, OHHHH- he’d be cuter than that stupid door.
Hell, he WAS cuter than that stupid door.
“PREPARE TO BE FINIIIIIIIIIISHED.” Jin lunged at the door, arms still crazily waving, large mustache flopping. As he neared the door, he pushed himself to go faster. He was gonna make it. He was gonna make it. He-
Crashed into the door and fell back with a loud thud.
“STUPID DOOR,” Jin cried, jumping up to his feet sluggishly like a drunken fighter. “I DEMAND THAT TODAY YOU WOULD SEE THE LIGHT. SEE THE FUCKING LIGHT ALREADY. THE LIGHT OF HELL. YES.”
Again and again, Jin ran into the door, trying to knock it down. But he just kept on falling on his stupid butt, yelling stupid, nonsensical ‘battle’ cries (“OH, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? YOUR MOM WAS AN OUTHOUSE DOOR. WHAT THEN, BITCH.”)
He also tried other things, such as pelting the door with oranges and trying to run out of the store when a person would enter. But the door would quickly close and he’d hit his pretty little head against it as usual.
On the fifty-seventh try, right as Jin was about to meet the door with his lovely little head, three pairs of hands grab his flailing arms and pulled him back.
“Oh, dear GOD, I can’t take this anymore,” the tallest man sighed, shaking his head and dropping it down on Jin’s shoulder. Jin recognized him to be Uchi; the lips were a dead giveaway (“Uchi, let’s switch lips. Here’s a butcher knife.” Uchi’s eyes widened.) and he was wearing the badly knit hat Tegoshi made him. The other two men, who were obviously Ryo and Yamapi, nodded in agreement, although they were really enjoying Jin’s failed attempts to opening the door (“AHAHAHA. DID THAT BROOM REALLY HIT HIM IN THE ASS?” Pi was clutching his stomach, uncontrollable laughter emitting from him. “I DON’T KNOW, BUT THAT WAS FUCKING FUNNY,” Ryo laughed, wiping his eyes. “You guys! Stop being mean!” Uchi cried.).
Jin’s eyes widened. “What are you guys doing here?! THIS IS MY WAR.”
Ryo scowled, “You fucking idiot, this is the worst ‘war’ that you’ve ever started.”
“I DIDN’T START IT. BLAME THE STUPID DOOR,” Jin wailed.
“Jin,” Pi began, “You damaged all the beer, crushed all the candy canes, and the ice cream is dripping from the bag. Can it get any worse?”
“It’s like the bags had orgasms-“
“Ryo!” Uchi threw one bag at his ‘deformed’ face.
“Jin…” Pi released Jin’s arm and hopped to the door. “You know… YOU’RE SUPPOSE TO PULL THE DOOR,” he stated, pulling the door ajar.
Jin stared.
“… OHMIGOD. WHEN I WENT INTO THE STORE, I HAD TO PUSH IT OPEN. DUDE, THE DOOR IS FUCKING EVIL. BUT IT’S A GENIUS. I RESPECT THAT.”
Pi buried his face into his hands. “… Someone, help me.”
“I don’t get why you’re dating this guy,” Ryo sighed, shaking his head at Yamapi.
“… Come on, Ryo-chan,” Uchi said, tugging on his best friend’s sleeve. “Let’s go buy your favorite ice cream- sperm flavored.” Uchi rolled his eyes and walked off to find the ice cream.
“Oh, come on! That joke was funny!”
~*~
“Merry Christmas,” the convenience store girl chirped nervously and cringed at Jin, who was trying to knock the door down with Pi holding him back.
“Ah, just ignore our friend. He’s an idiot,” Uchi said, smiling sweetly as he grabbed the bags. “And Merry Christmas to you, as well.” The girl shyly nodded.
Ryo took a bag from Uchi (who made sure it wasn’t the ice cream) and said, “You won’t be seeing that loser in this store again.”
“Hopefully?” Ryo noticed that the girl was wearing a name bracelet: “I ♥Akanishi Jin,” it said. Ryo tried hard not to laugh.
“Definitely. Merry Christmas.”
If only she knew that the bumbling idiot was the guy she ‘loved.’
~*~
… Haha, was that okay? :3
Jin’s New Year Resolution is to succeed exiting a convenience store. XDDD
Comments are love~ ^o^