Unhappy Days
Today is not a good day for me.
Over the weekend I had to make a trip to the emergency room becuase I was coughing so much I couldn't sleep and my throat felt llike it was tearing itself apart every time I swallowed, and one eye was swollen almost shut. Diagnosis: bronchitis and conjunctivitis. Nothing life-threatening, but we're having a lot of work done on the house and people are in and out all day long, which means little chance to catch up on rest.
The cats are being boarded elsewhere, and I got a call today that one, my special favorite, Muffin, was not well.
I went to visit her and she was... limp. Barely stirring. I held her and sang to her and told her she had to stay with me, because who would take care of all the kittey things I can't do for myself if she wasn't around?
Suppose I'll have to find out, because she didn't make it.
Why do we go on meeting and loving and losing? What is it we see when we look into a pet's eyes that has any pet owner doing this sort of thing over and over again to themselves?
I don't know the answer. I'm not sure there is an answer. I only know that I hurt, today, and I'm glad I did get to hold her one more time. Maybe it will make me stronger for other losses ahead. Maybe it reminds me how special life is.
Maybe it was just the feel of a small life in my arms, one that made me laugh and shout and cry (sometimes all three in a single hour).
Over the weekend I had to make a trip to the emergency room becuase I was coughing so much I couldn't sleep and my throat felt llike it was tearing itself apart every time I swallowed, and one eye was swollen almost shut. Diagnosis: bronchitis and conjunctivitis. Nothing life-threatening, but we're having a lot of work done on the house and people are in and out all day long, which means little chance to catch up on rest.
The cats are being boarded elsewhere, and I got a call today that one, my special favorite, Muffin, was not well.
I went to visit her and she was... limp. Barely stirring. I held her and sang to her and told her she had to stay with me, because who would take care of all the kittey things I can't do for myself if she wasn't around?
Suppose I'll have to find out, because she didn't make it.
Why do we go on meeting and loving and losing? What is it we see when we look into a pet's eyes that has any pet owner doing this sort of thing over and over again to themselves?
I don't know the answer. I'm not sure there is an answer. I only know that I hurt, today, and I'm glad I did get to hold her one more time. Maybe it will make me stronger for other losses ahead. Maybe it reminds me how special life is.
Maybe it was just the feel of a small life in my arms, one that made me laugh and shout and cry (sometimes all three in a single hour).