(no subject)
Shit's so weird this week.
I jump between FEELING things so thoroughly, and complete and utter apathy. I'm torn between my drive to be totally lazy and my drive to be insanely productive. I'm aware that others find some kind of happy medium... Me? not there yet. (and it's my junior year... I probably should be...) But it's not like a productivity just with schoolwork and the mundane, but everything...
for instance, see how I can't write? this is drivel.
And yet, in this week I have been moved to tears over such small things- a bag of my hair from when i had to shave it, an interview with a man who lost his lover to AIDs, and just mementos from my past... I wrote a paper that I BELIEVED in and LEARNED from it. I've had felt a CONNECTION to things.
What am I lacking? Deep conversation maybe?
any suggestions?
I jump between FEELING things so thoroughly, and complete and utter apathy. I'm torn between my drive to be totally lazy and my drive to be insanely productive. I'm aware that others find some kind of happy medium... Me? not there yet. (and it's my junior year... I probably should be...) But it's not like a productivity just with schoolwork and the mundane, but everything...
for instance, see how I can't write? this is drivel.
And yet, in this week I have been moved to tears over such small things- a bag of my hair from when i had to shave it, an interview with a man who lost his lover to AIDs, and just mementos from my past... I wrote a paper that I BELIEVED in and LEARNED from it. I've had felt a CONNECTION to things.
What am I lacking? Deep conversation maybe?
any suggestions?