(no subject)
I wonder if I post, will anybody see it anymore. I only had to go back 2 pages before I remembered why I sealed all of my posts away, but some of the more recent ones... 2010..? Recent, eh, relatively speaking... they were fine... my art wasn't even all that bad, the latest couple were downright endearing...
I think I only loaded this page up to make some sad attempt to yell at the world in a place where my blood relatives might see it, but what's the point. What does this world care about a loser like me, even my own family wouldn't waste their time.
My new family said something that... it isn't so much what was said that I think is amazing, even though I do think it was amazing... I think, the fact that I was as surprised as I was, probably that alone is all that needs to be said about it.
She said, that she owes her son a good life...
I always thought, the point to raising a family, was something like an investment. Something you do and then expect to be paid back for with interest... that's how I was raised anyway, this new family I found myself in... still not entirely used to it.
Did I mention I finally lost all of my friends? I knew it would happen sooner or later... even Shawn, somehow. A person like me isn't really cut out to have friends anyway, right? It's better for everyone that way if I'm just alone.
I spent my whole miserable life trying to run away from who I was, trying to forget my past and my mistakes and the awkward... I don't know how I could have done better, I really don't, I feel like I was just set up to fail, like I really am retarded, I can't do anything right and the only friends I ever had either never met me, or were because I followed my bullies around because... at least they cared enough to bully me... why won't I just die already, am I really so selfish as to still be alive, even now? Why do I keep taking advantage of people like this?
I think I only loaded this page up to make some sad attempt to yell at the world in a place where my blood relatives might see it, but what's the point. What does this world care about a loser like me, even my own family wouldn't waste their time.
My new family said something that... it isn't so much what was said that I think is amazing, even though I do think it was amazing... I think, the fact that I was as surprised as I was, probably that alone is all that needs to be said about it.
She said, that she owes her son a good life...
I always thought, the point to raising a family, was something like an investment. Something you do and then expect to be paid back for with interest... that's how I was raised anyway, this new family I found myself in... still not entirely used to it.
Did I mention I finally lost all of my friends? I knew it would happen sooner or later... even Shawn, somehow. A person like me isn't really cut out to have friends anyway, right? It's better for everyone that way if I'm just alone.
I spent my whole miserable life trying to run away from who I was, trying to forget my past and my mistakes and the awkward... I don't know how I could have done better, I really don't, I feel like I was just set up to fail, like I really am retarded, I can't do anything right and the only friends I ever had either never met me, or were because I followed my bullies around because... at least they cared enough to bully me... why won't I just die already, am I really so selfish as to still be alive, even now? Why do I keep taking advantage of people like this?