Baby Bird
Yesterday we found a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest. We looked for the nest but we couldn't find it. Ants were benginng to crawl on it. I knew that it was going to die, what was I going to say, what a hard lesson to learn. We picked it up brushed the ants off, it kept chirping wildly. Cute even though it didn't have much feathers yet. Looked like a little chicken nugget with a brown head. I called my friend, was going to ask him to see if he could find anything on saving a baby bird, I knew it's parents would touch it now that we had, but it wasn't like they were going to help it either. We even tried chewing up bread and giving it to it. It didn't work. We couldn't find any worms, the ground were I live is very hard and the garden is mostly weeds. A few hours later it closed it's eyes and wouldn't open them, still breathing slowly....My precious started to cry..."I don't want the little baby to die." I held her and told her that sometimes nature is cruel and there is nothing anyone can do about it. I told her that it was going to die, but at least she had given it comfort and safety. I took it and put it in cool shaded spot, it was only a little while until it died and I didn't want it to happen with my precious holding it. "I hate God."I said that when I set it down...out loud and certain. What kind of God would make this kind of order?!
My friend is angry with me. I've said something "offensive". Wasn't meant that way, but whatever. I think the way he constantly nit-picks is slightly offensive to, but isn't that the role of a friend, to accept flaws? Well the whole thing is a few entires back. O.k so I was a little harsh I have the bad habit of wanting to strike a killing blow when I've been mocked. Seriously though what a silly thing to be angry over. I do have quite a temper and I forget not everyone elses dies as quickly as mine. How sad I hope this isn't a friendship breaking thing. I really like him.
On a much lighter note, Sam called and asked me if he could back out for memorial day weekend....hahahahahahahaha what a relief, or so I thought, for a second I thought I was off the hook. Turns out he won some reward and has to go to a ceremony at some resort at Bodega Bay. That's not the reason he's missing. He wants me to attend, and stay at the resort with him. I told him to call me when it got closer to happening, he didn't say anything at first then he agreed, and we talked for a few hours. He told me that he had went on a vision quest in north dakota. How he had set on hill for four days with no food and water. He said he thought of me while he was there.Weird...but he says it really made a diffence in his life and he's going to go again next year. It does make a romantic picture Sam's godly body sitting alone in sun. Hoping to be blessed by the Creator. I'm such an idiot, I should just go and have a good time screw everything else. I should be happy that someone so beatiful wants to be with me. It's not like he's a bad person either on the contrary he's a modern day saint. It's deffinatly for the best that he's not coming over this weekend though, we are actually going to play the game on sunday, and an old player will be there. I could have just brought Sam with me, it would of been nice to see everyone's jaw drop. I love to shock people. But then again it might ruin my image. I'm excited about playing agian, I wasn't going because I was sick and tierd of waiting for hours to start playing and then being bored or tierd. I get tierd when I'm bored, and usually by the time we get around to playing I'm really tierd. Sitting on the couch watching someone else play video games every sunday is not my idea of fun. I could take a book but I like quiet when I read. So I just haven't been going. When I get my job I'll get my own game together. But not before I do have priorities.
POEM I'M WORKING ON NOT DONE YET
Suspended in stillness, this soul that's me but isn't mine anymore. She hangs there dead but not destroyed. A shrine to what could have, should have been. Perphaps you think you see her in a soft smile, hear her in a kind word, or maybe you feel her in a tender touch. It's a ghost, a memory of what has long been lost, an echo from the past that refuses to be silenced.
My friend is angry with me. I've said something "offensive". Wasn't meant that way, but whatever. I think the way he constantly nit-picks is slightly offensive to, but isn't that the role of a friend, to accept flaws? Well the whole thing is a few entires back. O.k so I was a little harsh I have the bad habit of wanting to strike a killing blow when I've been mocked. Seriously though what a silly thing to be angry over. I do have quite a temper and I forget not everyone elses dies as quickly as mine. How sad I hope this isn't a friendship breaking thing. I really like him.
On a much lighter note, Sam called and asked me if he could back out for memorial day weekend....hahahahahahahaha what a relief, or so I thought, for a second I thought I was off the hook. Turns out he won some reward and has to go to a ceremony at some resort at Bodega Bay. That's not the reason he's missing. He wants me to attend, and stay at the resort with him. I told him to call me when it got closer to happening, he didn't say anything at first then he agreed, and we talked for a few hours. He told me that he had went on a vision quest in north dakota. How he had set on hill for four days with no food and water. He said he thought of me while he was there.Weird...but he says it really made a diffence in his life and he's going to go again next year. It does make a romantic picture Sam's godly body sitting alone in sun. Hoping to be blessed by the Creator. I'm such an idiot, I should just go and have a good time screw everything else. I should be happy that someone so beatiful wants to be with me. It's not like he's a bad person either on the contrary he's a modern day saint. It's deffinatly for the best that he's not coming over this weekend though, we are actually going to play the game on sunday, and an old player will be there. I could have just brought Sam with me, it would of been nice to see everyone's jaw drop. I love to shock people. But then again it might ruin my image. I'm excited about playing agian, I wasn't going because I was sick and tierd of waiting for hours to start playing and then being bored or tierd. I get tierd when I'm bored, and usually by the time we get around to playing I'm really tierd. Sitting on the couch watching someone else play video games every sunday is not my idea of fun. I could take a book but I like quiet when I read. So I just haven't been going. When I get my job I'll get my own game together. But not before I do have priorities.
POEM I'M WORKING ON NOT DONE YET
Suspended in stillness, this soul that's me but isn't mine anymore. She hangs there dead but not destroyed. A shrine to what could have, should have been. Perphaps you think you see her in a soft smile, hear her in a kind word, or maybe you feel her in a tender touch. It's a ghost, a memory of what has long been lost, an echo from the past that refuses to be silenced.