Are fear, remorse and doubt all there is for me...?
"I had a good life before you came"...
What was it like to be her...the other. No pain or hurt, no ideas of cowardice and deceit, so untouched and unmarred...Was she even real? So long ago...can't remember...
...Where oh where did my little girl go...?
Well I'll scream it in my nightmares and find out for you shall I?!
I can't go back to...that...I can't be anything other than this shell that pitifully tries to hide the mangled shame from the world.
Cover their eyes and you shall not see...cover your ears and you shall not hear...
But feel?...how do you propose you cover my heart when it shudders on the verge of tearing itself asunder?
I have "everything" a person like me (shallow material emptiness) could ever want...but where's my heart?
I thought I had been reached time and time again "Time after time...if you're lost and you look then..." will I find you?
No! I find nothing but the desertion and deception of my body and mind.
Happiness is a beautiful intangible dream...fragile...like the dead butterfly on the windowsill, the semblance of living action within death.
I'm reached but I turn away, find excuses, destroy before I am found.
Can I love? Is it in me to love? My life is an act and I am both the puppet and it's master....
Who am I? WHAT am I???!!! Everyone else seems to fucking know! Telling my thoughts back to me,lecherous thieves stealing through the transparency of my face. Does that mean you own me? Superior looks just because you have disgusting pride and I have nothing but...wax...yes that's what IT is. Glutinuous, bulging, abhorred material I have been cast from.
But to get back to her...the light...the innocence...
Before...
I was stolen from me.
What was it like to be her...the other. No pain or hurt, no ideas of cowardice and deceit, so untouched and unmarred...Was she even real? So long ago...can't remember...
...Where oh where did my little girl go...?
Well I'll scream it in my nightmares and find out for you shall I?!
I can't go back to...that...I can't be anything other than this shell that pitifully tries to hide the mangled shame from the world.
Cover their eyes and you shall not see...cover your ears and you shall not hear...
But feel?...how do you propose you cover my heart when it shudders on the verge of tearing itself asunder?
I have "everything" a person like me (shallow material emptiness) could ever want...but where's my heart?
I thought I had been reached time and time again "Time after time...if you're lost and you look then..." will I find you?
No! I find nothing but the desertion and deception of my body and mind.
Happiness is a beautiful intangible dream...fragile...like the dead butterfly on the windowsill, the semblance of living action within death.
I'm reached but I turn away, find excuses, destroy before I am found.
Can I love? Is it in me to love? My life is an act and I am both the puppet and it's master....
Who am I? WHAT am I???!!! Everyone else seems to fucking know! Telling my thoughts back to me,lecherous thieves stealing through the transparency of my face. Does that mean you own me? Superior looks just because you have disgusting pride and I have nothing but...wax...yes that's what IT is. Glutinuous, bulging, abhorred material I have been cast from.
But to get back to her...the light...the innocence...
Before...
I was stolen from me.