(no subject)
pathetic once again.
i feel stupid writing this because i'm going to sound incredibly stupid. not dumb. STUPID.
it's funny how other people can think i'm so dumb or i don't know anything. but if i were to tell you everything i felt and what i thought you would shut the fuck up. i believe i give off the impression of a dumb naive person....and i won't lie sometimes i am. the dumbest i did and i lost myself to do was trusting someone. when people say you can't even trust your own family you can't. how did i let myself trust this person that i called a friend. what do i do now....i'm at crossroads as to what i should do. how can you sit there and call me a hypocrite when you do the same shit. when you were the one that taught me. you think i learned and influenced myself? if it were up to me i would do the same FUN routine that i've been doing for the past 18 years of my life. stay home and indulge in movies and dramas. but now you come and point fingers and tell other people that it was so and so that had influenced me. bull shit. in my heart i know it was you. why? because a majority of my time was spent with you. do i regret it ? no i do not because i made some dumb but good memories, not great. i've experienced what other people experienced. wow i can't believe how stupid i was.
now it comes to the question can i trust anyone? can i trust myself to even fall deeper in love than i already am or will this stop me? ahhh...this sounds so stupid but it's everything that i have on my mind and how i feel. i don't know how i should even deal with this. ignore it? hold a grudge? talk about it? .....questions race through my head. things i shouldnt even think about before finals....
on the other note...what else is bugging me is religious people. i dont understand them and they're annoying. i dont care who you are stop trying to take me to church and call me names. just because i dont go to church doesnt mean i dont believe in God. just leave me the fuck alone i'll find my faith my own way and i'll go if i truely feel like i do. otherwise i'd like everyone to fuck off and leave me the fuck alone and stop giving the vibe that you try to control and judge me.
.....
the not so happy and under stress
kibwe
i feel stupid writing this because i'm going to sound incredibly stupid. not dumb. STUPID.
it's funny how other people can think i'm so dumb or i don't know anything. but if i were to tell you everything i felt and what i thought you would shut the fuck up. i believe i give off the impression of a dumb naive person....and i won't lie sometimes i am. the dumbest i did and i lost myself to do was trusting someone. when people say you can't even trust your own family you can't. how did i let myself trust this person that i called a friend. what do i do now....i'm at crossroads as to what i should do. how can you sit there and call me a hypocrite when you do the same shit. when you were the one that taught me. you think i learned and influenced myself? if it were up to me i would do the same FUN routine that i've been doing for the past 18 years of my life. stay home and indulge in movies and dramas. but now you come and point fingers and tell other people that it was so and so that had influenced me. bull shit. in my heart i know it was you. why? because a majority of my time was spent with you. do i regret it ? no i do not because i made some dumb but good memories, not great. i've experienced what other people experienced. wow i can't believe how stupid i was.
now it comes to the question can i trust anyone? can i trust myself to even fall deeper in love than i already am or will this stop me? ahhh...this sounds so stupid but it's everything that i have on my mind and how i feel. i don't know how i should even deal with this. ignore it? hold a grudge? talk about it? .....questions race through my head. things i shouldnt even think about before finals....
on the other note...what else is bugging me is religious people. i dont understand them and they're annoying. i dont care who you are stop trying to take me to church and call me names. just because i dont go to church doesnt mean i dont believe in God. just leave me the fuck alone i'll find my faith my own way and i'll go if i truely feel like i do. otherwise i'd like everyone to fuck off and leave me the fuck alone and stop giving the vibe that you try to control and judge me.
.....
the not so happy and under stress
kibwe