Quite a few weeks it has been...
The last few weeks have been very interesting for me. The South Texas area workshop was good; I always like meeting new people from around the district, its nice to see a different group orientation with regards to Kappa Kappa Psi. San Antonio was likewise very fun as well; Irish pubs with dirty piano players are good times. Despite the fact that there were several annoyances that arose throughout the weekend, I feel like I handled most of them well. Working better at not getting worked up or letting little shit bother me. Sometimes, ya just can't avoid certain things that get to ya.
However, last week did not bode well for me at all, as part-way through the week I had what I can best describe as a nervous breakdown. I basically shut down and didn't go to most of my classes, slipping even further down what will already be an uphill battle. Going into the weekend I wasn't feeling so great, and it seems that being depressed let my immune system slip, and late Saturday night, I contracted an upper respiratory virus, and only acquired medication for it on Monday. So I've been hold up in bed the last two days, walking to the couch to watch TV and lay down, or to my bed to lay down. Unfortunately I'm not getting much sleep, and the medication doesn't feel like its working. Thankfully, my mid-terms have been pushed back to next week and the week after, so that's a positive sign, but I have a lot of catch up work to do, and I'm really, really scared I'm not going to be able to make it.
Something interesting happened today though which has given me a boost of confidence, even if it is only a small one. My dad has been working in New York for the past few months now, and quite frankly he isn't happy there. He hasn't been home in about a month or so, and I picked him up from the airport late Friday night before returning to my friend Malcom's house to play board games. It was nice getting to see him, and today when we were texting back and forth, he said that I gave him the strength to go back to New York and to get up on Monday to go to work. That really touched me, because I usually don't see myself as an inspiration to other people, and the fact that my dad is looking at my situations here in Stillwater, and using that to draw strength to go back to something he isn't happy doing, but knows its the best really says something to me. It's helped to lift my spirits, even if only marginally.
I'm really working hard on not doing the whole "stretching myself too thin" or "trying to do too much" thing but it seems like I am still not sure where that line is drawn for me. Hopefully I'll be able to gain some stability and begin to build momentum towards getting back on top of stuff. If I drop even one class this semester, I loose my tuition waiver, with the possible exception of taking summer classes to make up the lost hours, which would screw my various plans for the summer all across the board. So like I said, I hope I can stabilize.
Here's to positive thinking, eh?
I hope everyone else is doing better than me.
However, last week did not bode well for me at all, as part-way through the week I had what I can best describe as a nervous breakdown. I basically shut down and didn't go to most of my classes, slipping even further down what will already be an uphill battle. Going into the weekend I wasn't feeling so great, and it seems that being depressed let my immune system slip, and late Saturday night, I contracted an upper respiratory virus, and only acquired medication for it on Monday. So I've been hold up in bed the last two days, walking to the couch to watch TV and lay down, or to my bed to lay down. Unfortunately I'm not getting much sleep, and the medication doesn't feel like its working. Thankfully, my mid-terms have been pushed back to next week and the week after, so that's a positive sign, but I have a lot of catch up work to do, and I'm really, really scared I'm not going to be able to make it.
Something interesting happened today though which has given me a boost of confidence, even if it is only a small one. My dad has been working in New York for the past few months now, and quite frankly he isn't happy there. He hasn't been home in about a month or so, and I picked him up from the airport late Friday night before returning to my friend Malcom's house to play board games. It was nice getting to see him, and today when we were texting back and forth, he said that I gave him the strength to go back to New York and to get up on Monday to go to work. That really touched me, because I usually don't see myself as an inspiration to other people, and the fact that my dad is looking at my situations here in Stillwater, and using that to draw strength to go back to something he isn't happy doing, but knows its the best really says something to me. It's helped to lift my spirits, even if only marginally.
I'm really working hard on not doing the whole "stretching myself too thin" or "trying to do too much" thing but it seems like I am still not sure where that line is drawn for me. Hopefully I'll be able to gain some stability and begin to build momentum towards getting back on top of stuff. If I drop even one class this semester, I loose my tuition waiver, with the possible exception of taking summer classes to make up the lost hours, which would screw my various plans for the summer all across the board. So like I said, I hope I can stabilize.
Here's to positive thinking, eh?
I hope everyone else is doing better than me.