Conclusions have been drawn
I have come to the conclusion that I am better friend material than I am relationship material. All four of my ex girlfriends have said that to me, but I will only continue to talk to one of them. And that is Amy. There is something about her that I can't over look or turn away. The last three pissed me off in one way or another, but Amy, though she broke my heart, and did some things recently that I couldn't understand there is still something about her.
I would rather have her in my life as a friend, then not at all is what I am trying to say. We both invested a lot of feelings and time into the relationship that we had, on both ends. Both good times and bad we stuck with each other and I want to continue to do so.
I've had dreams that point to the fact that it might not ever happen again that we will get into another relationship and move on in our lives together. It's numbing to say that I am ok with it because in actuallity I'm not. I wish I could say that I'm okay with it, but I'm not. But to keep her around as a friend may help me to over time understand that it is the best thing for her. Deep down I just want her to be happy. I think I've said this about 100 times in the last few entries but its true. And right now, not being in a relationship with me is doing that. So why ruin a bad thing for her by holding on to something that isn't there anymore. I have come to terms with the fact that I will onlybe a friend, not a lover to anyone for the rest of my life. I can't change it. Four out of four exs agree that this is true, so why fight it?
I would rather have her in my life as a friend, then not at all is what I am trying to say. We both invested a lot of feelings and time into the relationship that we had, on both ends. Both good times and bad we stuck with each other and I want to continue to do so.
I've had dreams that point to the fact that it might not ever happen again that we will get into another relationship and move on in our lives together. It's numbing to say that I am ok with it because in actuallity I'm not. I wish I could say that I'm okay with it, but I'm not. But to keep her around as a friend may help me to over time understand that it is the best thing for her. Deep down I just want her to be happy. I think I've said this about 100 times in the last few entries but its true. And right now, not being in a relationship with me is doing that. So why ruin a bad thing for her by holding on to something that isn't there anymore. I have come to terms with the fact that I will onlybe a friend, not a lover to anyone for the rest of my life. I can't change it. Four out of four exs agree that this is true, so why fight it?