Is this having self-respect, taking no BS? Or is this "bitchy"?
It’s kind of amazing and mortifying that I have had this LJ for 10 years. The memories... The inane things I would write about… The way I used to think… *shudders*
Ten years ago today (accounting for California calendar) I apparently was very excited for Gravitation.
I have reached a point in my life where I want to pursue what is better for me and dropping what I recognize as being detrimental. Unfortunately what “is better” is currently still in potential stages; I don’t even know yet if some of these things will result in something fruitful and fulfilling. I do recognize detrimental relationships and habits more swiftly now I think. For the most part, it’s been easier to let the relationships fade into nothingness, especially with the more unreliable, dishonest, or disrespectful acquaintances. I like to believe that I am forgiving and am willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. But repeat offences are hard to ignore. Red flags. Time to let go…
Sincerity/earnestness/genuineness is something I feel is not quite valued here in this community as much as it is by me. (Reading that again, I come off as an awful, holier-than-thou person… Wait!!) When I talk to people, I genuinely want to get to know them! If I am pursuing a friendship, I see qualities I really like and want to be around that individual. I do not attempt to become besties with everyone I meet, no. If I have just met you, I suppose I will have put you on a list in my mind to see if we will work out. However, if there is a point where we see incompatibility, then I guess it’s time to move on, while staying friendly. And once I see my sincere efforts are not met with equal effort (or not even responded to in a respectful way!!), that is my cue to move on, too. Is it so hard for people to be honest? Not harsh, but honest? Please turn down invitations. I’ll eventually get the point. Don’t give me the “Definitely Next Time,” “Let’s Hang Out,” or “I Wanna See You!” if you have no intention of following through.
Flakes - You needn’t promise you’ll do something! Say you’re busy, say you’re not up to it (maybe say you eventually want to do something if that’s true though?), be honest! Don’t leave people hanging and waiting on you. WTF. Claiming you “spaced out” is just as bad as people saying you don’t like me anyway because if you didn’t care enough to remember a promise made less than 24 hours beforehand, you come off as a really inconsiderate person.
Disinterested Persons - Why are you even trying? Maybe my putting in effort makes you feel nice about yourself, but really? Please, refrain from straight up lying about wanting to make plans or have anything to do with me. I suppose interacting with me can beat boredom sometimes, but please, please don’t lie that you remotely care about me. And roles switched, I will try not to be that fake person who pretends to love you either, but I will talk to you if you talk to me.
Previously Active Acquaintances - I may be wary of you if I had put in effort before and you let it fade. But if you reconnect, or if I try to reconnect because I feel like there may have been a change, I will reattempt. But if all that happens, and I still get lukewarm responses in return? Bye.
I’ll admit I’m emotionally needy. Edit: I just read what is defined as "emotionally needy," and I don’t believe that is what I am. I suppose what I want is to feel equally appreciated by the people that I also sincerely appreciate or care about. But if they’re not feeling it, then I guess I’ll try to return to the level of effort that they afford me. Either way, you’re getting demoted.
Ten years ago today (accounting for California calendar) I apparently was very excited for Gravitation.
I have reached a point in my life where I want to pursue what is better for me and dropping what I recognize as being detrimental. Unfortunately what “is better” is currently still in potential stages; I don’t even know yet if some of these things will result in something fruitful and fulfilling. I do recognize detrimental relationships and habits more swiftly now I think. For the most part, it’s been easier to let the relationships fade into nothingness, especially with the more unreliable, dishonest, or disrespectful acquaintances. I like to believe that I am forgiving and am willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. But repeat offences are hard to ignore. Red flags. Time to let go…
Sincerity/earnestness/genuineness is something I feel is not quite valued here in this community as much as it is by me. (Reading that again, I come off as an awful, holier-than-thou person… Wait!!) When I talk to people, I genuinely want to get to know them! If I am pursuing a friendship, I see qualities I really like and want to be around that individual. I do not attempt to become besties with everyone I meet, no. If I have just met you, I suppose I will have put you on a list in my mind to see if we will work out. However, if there is a point where we see incompatibility, then I guess it’s time to move on, while staying friendly. And once I see my sincere efforts are not met with equal effort (or not even responded to in a respectful way!!), that is my cue to move on, too. Is it so hard for people to be honest? Not harsh, but honest? Please turn down invitations. I’ll eventually get the point. Don’t give me the “Definitely Next Time,” “Let’s Hang Out,” or “I Wanna See You!” if you have no intention of following through.
Flakes - You needn’t promise you’ll do something! Say you’re busy, say you’re not up to it (maybe say you eventually want to do something if that’s true though?), be honest! Don’t leave people hanging and waiting on you. WTF. Claiming you “spaced out” is just as bad as people saying you don’t like me anyway because if you didn’t care enough to remember a promise made less than 24 hours beforehand, you come off as a really inconsiderate person.
Disinterested Persons - Why are you even trying? Maybe my putting in effort makes you feel nice about yourself, but really? Please, refrain from straight up lying about wanting to make plans or have anything to do with me. I suppose interacting with me can beat boredom sometimes, but please, please don’t lie that you remotely care about me. And roles switched, I will try not to be that fake person who pretends to love you either, but I will talk to you if you talk to me.
Previously Active Acquaintances - I may be wary of you if I had put in effort before and you let it fade. But if you reconnect, or if I try to reconnect because I feel like there may have been a change, I will reattempt. But if all that happens, and I still get lukewarm responses in return? Bye.
I’ll admit I’m emotionally needy. Edit: I just read what is defined as "emotionally needy," and I don’t believe that is what I am. I suppose what I want is to feel equally appreciated by the people that I also sincerely appreciate or care about. But if they’re not feeling it, then I guess I’ll try to return to the level of effort that they afford me. Either way, you’re getting demoted.