An excerpt from "The Hunting of the PhuD"
After a deeply excellent evening of watching ~THOR~ and drinking tequila, I really was going to be Very Productive today, and I'm going to start on that Any Moment Now, but in the meantime I took a shower and came up with this:
..."It is time to nip all this debate in the bud,"
She said with irrational glee,
"For to hunt for the stealthy and whimsical PhuD
Is a work of a higher degree.
You must hunt it with axes and library books
You must hunt it with hope and with beer
You must hunt it with snares and with venomous looks --
Otherwise, it is best to steer clear.
You can tell the PhuD-hunter by various signs
Eleventy-seven and more
Though he who a perilous PhuD-hunt designs
Must soon forget how to keep score.
They will breakfast at dinner and luncheon at tea,
And despair between midnight and six.
They can often be found watching lots of TV,
And then you must beat them with sticks.
They may have very funny ideas of fun
And like giving orations impromptu
Some say they are likely to melt in the sun
But only if they really want to.
They will flounder in puddles and wallow through mud
And take many involunt'ry naps
And at last will deliver their prey with a PhuD
To a wily examiner's lap.
They have tackled the PhuD all the way to its nest
Of cheap biscuits and misaddressed mail,
But, my child, even then to be cautious is best
For the PhuD has a sting in its tail:
After thrive or tweight years, plus or minus a day
After teacups and labours so vast
They will see all their job prospects vanish away
For the PhuD was a Boojum at last."
..."It is time to nip all this debate in the bud,"
She said with irrational glee,
"For to hunt for the stealthy and whimsical PhuD
Is a work of a higher degree.
You must hunt it with axes and library books
You must hunt it with hope and with beer
You must hunt it with snares and with venomous looks --
Otherwise, it is best to steer clear.
You can tell the PhuD-hunter by various signs
Eleventy-seven and more
Though he who a perilous PhuD-hunt designs
Must soon forget how to keep score.
They will breakfast at dinner and luncheon at tea,
And despair between midnight and six.
They can often be found watching lots of TV,
And then you must beat them with sticks.
They may have very funny ideas of fun
And like giving orations impromptu
Some say they are likely to melt in the sun
But only if they really want to.
They will flounder in puddles and wallow through mud
And take many involunt'ry naps
And at last will deliver their prey with a PhuD
To a wily examiner's lap.
They have tackled the PhuD all the way to its nest
Of cheap biscuits and misaddressed mail,
But, my child, even then to be cautious is best
For the PhuD has a sting in its tail:
After thrive or tweight years, plus or minus a day
After teacups and labours so vast
They will see all their job prospects vanish away
For the PhuD was a Boojum at last."