sj and the shadow of the day
fandom: super junior
title: and the shadow of the day
pairing/rating: hankyung/heechul, pg13
summary: bittersweet fluff written for my bby remixied
When he talks about Hankyung on the radio he says our Hankyung because no matter where he is or what he’s doing, he will always be theirs, because Heechul doesn’t think in terms of SME or Korea or China, he thinks in terms of sweating in training rooms and holding hands in green rooms and crying onstage and bowing, and pulling masks off.
“I stood by you” he howls in his dreams, and wakes up and destroys his room, raging in a fury of broken glass and ripped paper, and when he’s done he sits in the middle of the debris and thinks he’s gotten more melodramatic in his old age.
“Hey,” Siwon says, as Heechul pours wine into glasses and grabs the plates, “Hankyung-hyung will be in town tomorrow.” Heechul plops next to him on the couch and hands him his plate.
“Yeah?” he says flatly, and Siwon shifts, hesitant.
“You should call him,” he says finally, and turns back to the television. When Heechul leaves he hugs him slightly tighter than usual.
“I love you, hyung,” he says, and Heechul smiles gently.
“You need to take care of yourself, Jungsoo,” he says, and Eeteuk tries to smile at him.
“It’s hard, Heechul-ah,” he says, and does up his tie deftly, checks his microphone. Heechul frowns at him, and Eeteuk stops, fingers on his top button, and looks at them in the mirror. “When did we get so old?” he asks, and Heechul steps up behind him and touches his shoulder.
“Super Senior oh eh oh,” he jokes lightly, and Eeteuk smiles.
“I heard Hankyung was in town last night,” he says, and Heechul’s face closes and he turns away.
“Hm,” he says, and brushes his fingers through his bangs.
“I miss Youngwoon,” Eeteuk says softly, and Heechul goes still. “You’re the only one that ever calls me Jungsoo anymore,” he admits, and Heechul’s fingers brush his shoulder blades gently. “Call Hankyung,” Eeteuk says, and leaves to check on Donghae and Eunhyuk.
“You were my best friend,” he tells Hankyung on the phone, “I don’t want your fucking dumplings.”
“You’re still my best friend,” Hankyung says, and Heechul hangs up because that’s not really what he needs to hear right now.
Four days later he calls him again and informs him he will never manage to repay this transgression. When Hankyung laughs it sounds the same it always has.
“Nothing stays the same forever, Heechul-ah,” he says, and maybe there’s regret there and maybe there isn’t, but when Heechul meets him at the airport he looks healthier and happier, and if he is that without Heechul then Heechul wishes they’d never met.
“I hate you,” Heechul says, but in his head it sounds more like I miss you so much it hurts
Nothing lasts forever, Heechul thinks, but sitting in Hankyung’s new apartment drinking cheap alcohol and talking about remember whens and that one times, and Hankyung’s eyes still crinkle the same when he laughs, and when Heechul leans across him, his chest feels the same under his fingers, and his hair feels the same, coarse and rough and he still sighs that same way when their heads move and his tongue slides with the same gentleness and he holds Heechul cradled in his sheets and their sweat drying on bare skin and cries like the little girl he is--I never want to lose you, Heechul-ah.
Heechul thinks that he says wo ai ni instead of saranghae now, but it still makes his heart ache, and when Hankyung looks at him like that it feels like coming home.
title: and the shadow of the day
pairing/rating: hankyung/heechul, pg13
summary: bittersweet fluff written for my bby remixied
When he talks about Hankyung on the radio he says our Hankyung because no matter where he is or what he’s doing, he will always be theirs, because Heechul doesn’t think in terms of SME or Korea or China, he thinks in terms of sweating in training rooms and holding hands in green rooms and crying onstage and bowing, and pulling masks off.
“I stood by you” he howls in his dreams, and wakes up and destroys his room, raging in a fury of broken glass and ripped paper, and when he’s done he sits in the middle of the debris and thinks he’s gotten more melodramatic in his old age.
“Hey,” Siwon says, as Heechul pours wine into glasses and grabs the plates, “Hankyung-hyung will be in town tomorrow.” Heechul plops next to him on the couch and hands him his plate.
“Yeah?” he says flatly, and Siwon shifts, hesitant.
“You should call him,” he says finally, and turns back to the television. When Heechul leaves he hugs him slightly tighter than usual.
“I love you, hyung,” he says, and Heechul smiles gently.
“You need to take care of yourself, Jungsoo,” he says, and Eeteuk tries to smile at him.
“It’s hard, Heechul-ah,” he says, and does up his tie deftly, checks his microphone. Heechul frowns at him, and Eeteuk stops, fingers on his top button, and looks at them in the mirror. “When did we get so old?” he asks, and Heechul steps up behind him and touches his shoulder.
“Super Senior oh eh oh,” he jokes lightly, and Eeteuk smiles.
“I heard Hankyung was in town last night,” he says, and Heechul’s face closes and he turns away.
“Hm,” he says, and brushes his fingers through his bangs.
“I miss Youngwoon,” Eeteuk says softly, and Heechul goes still. “You’re the only one that ever calls me Jungsoo anymore,” he admits, and Heechul’s fingers brush his shoulder blades gently. “Call Hankyung,” Eeteuk says, and leaves to check on Donghae and Eunhyuk.
“You were my best friend,” he tells Hankyung on the phone, “I don’t want your fucking dumplings.”
“You’re still my best friend,” Hankyung says, and Heechul hangs up because that’s not really what he needs to hear right now.
Four days later he calls him again and informs him he will never manage to repay this transgression. When Hankyung laughs it sounds the same it always has.
“Nothing stays the same forever, Heechul-ah,” he says, and maybe there’s regret there and maybe there isn’t, but when Heechul meets him at the airport he looks healthier and happier, and if he is that without Heechul then Heechul wishes they’d never met.
“I hate you,” Heechul says, but in his head it sounds more like I miss you so much it hurts
Nothing lasts forever, Heechul thinks, but sitting in Hankyung’s new apartment drinking cheap alcohol and talking about remember whens and that one times, and Hankyung’s eyes still crinkle the same when he laughs, and when Heechul leans across him, his chest feels the same under his fingers, and his hair feels the same, coarse and rough and he still sighs that same way when their heads move and his tongue slides with the same gentleness and he holds Heechul cradled in his sheets and their sweat drying on bare skin and cries like the little girl he is--I never want to lose you, Heechul-ah.
Heechul thinks that he says wo ai ni instead of saranghae now, but it still makes his heart ache, and when Hankyung looks at him like that it feels like coming home.