*sigh*
Okay, so, I'm at an impass. At this point I don't know what to do... Ugh, I had this all figured out in my head last nigh, what I was going to say and now I've lost it... bear with me here.
So I'm pretty sure I'm an expert at scaring people off. I feel like I'm more of a creeper than my jackass brother ever was, but I can't seem to stop it, and when I think about it I want to cry... I'm such a fucking amateur when it comes to romance it's not funny. I don't want to try too hard and scare people off but I also don't want to try too little and end up missing my chance. I think I've been trying too hard lately but... I don't know what else to do. I thought I was being smart about it, but I guess not. I just want this so badly...
I'd like to say it's not my fault but maybe it is. I'm too shy for my own good and I have no experience in this at all. I've only had one boyfriend that I wasn't dating online and we broke up after a month. He asked me out not the other way around. I guess I just don't know how to approach someone I'm interested in. Maybe he's just shy, but so am I and I'm trying, I really am, to get over the shyness, to not let it get in the way of what I want to accomplish... so why do I still feel like I'm failing?
I dunno, maybe I'm misunderstanding his being polite with being friendly. Maybe I'm totally misunderstanding his actions. I dunno, I never was good at understanding men. *sigh* So I dunno what to do anymore. Maybe I'll toss the ball in his court and see what happens next....
My friend thinks he likes me... I pray to the gods that's true.
So I'm pretty sure I'm an expert at scaring people off. I feel like I'm more of a creeper than my jackass brother ever was, but I can't seem to stop it, and when I think about it I want to cry... I'm such a fucking amateur when it comes to romance it's not funny. I don't want to try too hard and scare people off but I also don't want to try too little and end up missing my chance. I think I've been trying too hard lately but... I don't know what else to do. I thought I was being smart about it, but I guess not. I just want this so badly...
I'd like to say it's not my fault but maybe it is. I'm too shy for my own good and I have no experience in this at all. I've only had one boyfriend that I wasn't dating online and we broke up after a month. He asked me out not the other way around. I guess I just don't know how to approach someone I'm interested in. Maybe he's just shy, but so am I and I'm trying, I really am, to get over the shyness, to not let it get in the way of what I want to accomplish... so why do I still feel like I'm failing?
I dunno, maybe I'm misunderstanding his being polite with being friendly. Maybe I'm totally misunderstanding his actions. I dunno, I never was good at understanding men. *sigh* So I dunno what to do anymore. Maybe I'll toss the ball in his court and see what happens next....
My friend thinks he likes me... I pray to the gods that's true.