downward rainfall..
Here it is, 3:18am, and I am feeling so down.. I dont know why. Its like.. im upset over two people. For two different reasons. I was laying in bed, and my mind started to wander.
*should i be stepping into this new relationship right now? i mean, i know i have to move on, and i know its not all about josh.. its those times when i want to talk to him, and i have to sneak around to get to him. do i need this right now?
*why am i already falling for him? the relationship hasnt even began to reach its good parts and im already clinging to him like glue.
*i wonder if josh is okay. i wonder if he thinks about me some nights. i wonder if the stupid whore he is with, is the one who hung up on me last friday (the 3rd). i wonder if she is the one who got on his screen name and read my friggin emails to him. what a fckin loser. i wonder if he knows how much control she already has over him.
*i wonder how long im going to be hurting over him. like.. i was okay all week, until the other day when his ass signed online. i dont know what happened, but i hate it. now its like, if im not thinking about freddy, josh comes to mind. and i dont like it, cause i really wanna work things out with freddy. i really care about him.