Messed up.
Life can be unfair sometimes.
You find yourself one day full of hope and energy. The next lost and messed up.
Right now I feel like I'm standing at the gate of a deep, deep cave, yelling out something feeling so sure that it's going to bounce back, but heard nothing.
All my hope was sucked away, simply.
Usually, the higher the expectation, the deeper the wound.
I'm not the type to lose hope, I get mad when things go off track and that helps me keep on fighting.
But sometimes it's just too much. Right now I feel so down, stressed, tired and FRUSTRATED.
Anger and sadness when mixed together result in the most painful tears. And it's the first time in a long, long while that I've cried like this.
For some reason, I know that I'd cry today when I get home, so I tried wandering around here and there, eating out, walking slowly, lengthening the time before I get back home.
And somehow I knew that my parents will be the ones to turn on the switch that releases all the madness, all the mess in me. I fucking started crying right after talking to them.
They 'helped' me add the last drop of water into the glass already about to pour out.
But the water that was already in the glass came from somewhere else.
...
Life's so unfair. Right now.
And my eyes fucking hurt.
My head fucking hurts.
My heart fucking hurts.
(And no this has nothing to do with love or whichever stupid things people might usually emo about).
You find yourself one day full of hope and energy. The next lost and messed up.
Right now I feel like I'm standing at the gate of a deep, deep cave, yelling out something feeling so sure that it's going to bounce back, but heard nothing.
All my hope was sucked away, simply.
Usually, the higher the expectation, the deeper the wound.
I'm not the type to lose hope, I get mad when things go off track and that helps me keep on fighting.
But sometimes it's just too much. Right now I feel so down, stressed, tired and FRUSTRATED.
Anger and sadness when mixed together result in the most painful tears. And it's the first time in a long, long while that I've cried like this.
For some reason, I know that I'd cry today when I get home, so I tried wandering around here and there, eating out, walking slowly, lengthening the time before I get back home.
And somehow I knew that my parents will be the ones to turn on the switch that releases all the madness, all the mess in me. I fucking started crying right after talking to them.
They 'helped' me add the last drop of water into the glass already about to pour out.
But the water that was already in the glass came from somewhere else.
...
Life's so unfair. Right now.
And my eyes fucking hurt.
My head fucking hurts.
My heart fucking hurts.
(And no this has nothing to do with love or whichever stupid things people might usually emo about).