(no subject)
Things I would recommend.
1. learning to trype properly - I am still struggling.
2. Eating my cooking- it rocks
3. Having children. They are so choot! (though not as cute as thomas - sorry people)
4. Abandoning all known family memebers, especially when they are a bunch of assholes hell-bent on destoying your very existence.
6. Killing all the chavs in margate - it gives me an excuse to use martyns katana, innit.
7. Moving abroad - as long as its not Africa or America and is definatly away from tony blair/gordon brown/ david "hey dude" cameron, it doesn't matter.
8. eating garlic and herb cheese on rice cakes.
9. becoming addicted to softmints - especially the blue ones!
10. going out with/marrying a man who is nothing like your father (in my case sperm donor)
11. Having more than one personality, it gets lonely sometimes ("thanks, hun") Its ok, babe.
Things I would never recommend.
1. Taking over the world. It takes too long, costs too much and whenever ytou finally achieve your life- long ambition some long-caped- red underweared superhero takes the fun away from you.
2. Having children - excessive weight gain, dirty nappies, puke, sleepless nights, the ability to know your washing machine more than your partner in grime and changing so many clean clothes you may as well walk around naked, it never a good look.
3. Seeing purple elephants in the delivery room. People just think your mad.
4. Having your own personality. when you introduce yourself as stacey AND tracey ... people tend to think your mad.
5. Dieting - it hurts. especially when you live in kebab land like I do.
6. Having a sperm and egg donor. After years of abandonment they suddenly decide they do, in fact, want to be your parents. And then they wonder why you just laugh continuously in their face.
7. Having an addiction to softmints - withdrawal. symptoms.
8. moving to a place with cheap houses - cheap housing, graffiti, chavs, children having children, dirt, crime, crap police force and general 'what the hell made you move here?' atmosphere.
9/ having a mother in law - literally the most painful person you will ever come across. buy a jack russell instead.
10. Having a boyfriend who works nights. example below.
Me: Martyn, the baby is crying, its your turn, wake up.
M: Huh? er... yeah ... um .. djfnbjdnf *various babblings.'
Me: Martyn the house is one fire, wake up.
M: er.. yeah in a minute... put it out with the cat or something
1. learning to trype properly - I am still struggling.
2. Eating my cooking- it rocks
3. Having children. They are so choot! (though not as cute as thomas - sorry people)
4. Abandoning all known family memebers, especially when they are a bunch of assholes hell-bent on destoying your very existence.
6. Killing all the chavs in margate - it gives me an excuse to use martyns katana, innit.
7. Moving abroad - as long as its not Africa or America and is definatly away from tony blair/gordon brown/ david "hey dude" cameron, it doesn't matter.
8. eating garlic and herb cheese on rice cakes.
9. becoming addicted to softmints - especially the blue ones!
10. going out with/marrying a man who is nothing like your father (in my case sperm donor)
11. Having more than one personality, it gets lonely sometimes ("thanks, hun") Its ok, babe.
Things I would never recommend.
1. Taking over the world. It takes too long, costs too much and whenever ytou finally achieve your life- long ambition some long-caped- red underweared superhero takes the fun away from you.
2. Having children - excessive weight gain, dirty nappies, puke, sleepless nights, the ability to know your washing machine more than your partner in grime and changing so many clean clothes you may as well walk around naked, it never a good look.
3. Seeing purple elephants in the delivery room. People just think your mad.
4. Having your own personality. when you introduce yourself as stacey AND tracey ... people tend to think your mad.
5. Dieting - it hurts. especially when you live in kebab land like I do.
6. Having a sperm and egg donor. After years of abandonment they suddenly decide they do, in fact, want to be your parents. And then they wonder why you just laugh continuously in their face.
7. Having an addiction to softmints - withdrawal. symptoms.
8. moving to a place with cheap houses - cheap housing, graffiti, chavs, children having children, dirt, crime, crap police force and general 'what the hell made you move here?' atmosphere.
9/ having a mother in law - literally the most painful person you will ever come across. buy a jack russell instead.
10. Having a boyfriend who works nights. example below.
Me: Martyn, the baby is crying, its your turn, wake up.
M: Huh? er... yeah ... um .. djfnbjdnf *various babblings.'
Me: Martyn the house is one fire, wake up.
M: er.. yeah in a minute... put it out with the cat or something