(no subject)
Wednesday Paul and I had one of those fights were neither one of you end up sleeping, tossing and turning in a bed of angst.
Then we had another one on Thursday.
At some point we stopped reacting to each other and tried to listen. It's hard to listen when you have something to say.
I think most often we argue it itsn't about what we are saying it's because we feel disconnected from the other, from disconnection springs a feeling of unappreciation and the cycle starts.
Anyway, I heard him. I listened and so did he.
I didn't realize it at first until I came home from work yesterday and found the kitchen cleaned and the laundry done. Sunday is his day off to do what he wants with and I was fully expecting it to be filled with work and coffee with friends with a swim in there somewhere.
He also rented Battlestar Galactica, because he really wanted to see it but I think also because I said I felt like I was the one making all the decisions and implementing them. Yes, even when it comes down to renting a video for the night. I asked him to help by assuming a share of the responsibility. He did.
I am overcome by knowing that our relationship can exist with this level of commitment and caring and knowing that it can, and will, surpass this.
It's self fulfilling on it's own. When I make efforts to work with Paul's needs I know he feels more motivated to work with mine.
Case in point, I have a day off and right now I am sitting on the couch in my housecoat with the laptop and a cup of tea because Paul offered to take Brandon to daycare.
I am. so. grateful.
Then we had another one on Thursday.
At some point we stopped reacting to each other and tried to listen. It's hard to listen when you have something to say.
I think most often we argue it itsn't about what we are saying it's because we feel disconnected from the other, from disconnection springs a feeling of unappreciation and the cycle starts.
Anyway, I heard him. I listened and so did he.
I didn't realize it at first until I came home from work yesterday and found the kitchen cleaned and the laundry done. Sunday is his day off to do what he wants with and I was fully expecting it to be filled with work and coffee with friends with a swim in there somewhere.
He also rented Battlestar Galactica, because he really wanted to see it but I think also because I said I felt like I was the one making all the decisions and implementing them. Yes, even when it comes down to renting a video for the night. I asked him to help by assuming a share of the responsibility. He did.
I am overcome by knowing that our relationship can exist with this level of commitment and caring and knowing that it can, and will, surpass this.
It's self fulfilling on it's own. When I make efforts to work with Paul's needs I know he feels more motivated to work with mine.
Case in point, I have a day off and right now I am sitting on the couch in my housecoat with the laptop and a cup of tea because Paul offered to take Brandon to daycare.
I am. so. grateful.