Do you take drugs / so you can have sex without crying?
JESUS IS MAGIC!
"I love you more than bears love honey. I love you more than Jews love money. I love you more than Asians are good at math. I love you even if it's not hip. I love you more than black people don't tip. I love you more than Mexican's need a bath. I love you like Gary Busey. I love you more than dykes love pussy. I love you more than my after-show monster bong hit..."
"Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes."
"When God gives you AIDS - and God does give you AIDS, by the way - make lemonAIDS."
"So I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis when it suddenly hit me. Oh my GOD. I am turning into my mother!"
"Hey Martin Loser King... I had a fuckin' dream, too!"
"The best time to have a baby is when you're a black teenager."
"Nazi's are fuckin' a-holes man. but, they're so cute when they're little! it's like, 'aww, i don't want it to grow up!"
"If black people had been around in the 40's in germany, i really don't think the holocaust would have happened. not to jews anyway."
"what the fuck is up with jewish people who drive german cars? nad, i mean, if Hitler knew that in sixty years the people he had based his genocide around would be driving German made cars, would he have changed his opinion? Killing customers just isn't good for business "
"I don't mean to belittle the events of Sept 11th. The events on that day were tragic, unforgiveable, and unforgettable. It was the day I found out the soy chai latte I had been drinking everday was 900 calories"
"People love things that come first. That's why American Airlines' slogan should be 'American Airlines: First through the towers'. Because they were first"
"I was raped by my doctor, which is sort of bittersweet for a Jewish girl."
"what is the world coming to when a nice jewish girl can't say 'chink' on national TV?"
"i'm not racist! in fact i was dating this half-black guy but it ended because i'm stupid and clingy adn i suck...wait- i'm hearing myself say these things, and i'm so pessimistic! i'm sorry, he was half-white..."
"kids need motivation. i told my neice everytime she loses at tag an angel gets AIDS. you know what? she wins."
sung to a retirement home: "You're gonna die soon, you're gonna die soon, we're all gonna die, just not as soon as you guys!"
"Thats not sex. no. reason number one: doody comes out of there. reason number two: doody comes out of there. you really don't need another reason when there's doody involved."
"I love you more than bears love honey. I love you more than Jews love money. I love you more than Asians are good at math. I love you even if it's not hip. I love you more than black people don't tip. I love you more than Mexican's need a bath. I love you like Gary Busey. I love you more than dykes love pussy. I love you more than my after-show monster bong hit..."
"Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes."
"When God gives you AIDS - and God does give you AIDS, by the way - make lemonAIDS."
"So I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis when it suddenly hit me. Oh my GOD. I am turning into my mother!"
"Hey Martin Loser King... I had a fuckin' dream, too!"
"The best time to have a baby is when you're a black teenager."
"Nazi's are fuckin' a-holes man. but, they're so cute when they're little! it's like, 'aww, i don't want it to grow up!"
"If black people had been around in the 40's in germany, i really don't think the holocaust would have happened. not to jews anyway."
"what the fuck is up with jewish people who drive german cars? nad, i mean, if Hitler knew that in sixty years the people he had based his genocide around would be driving German made cars, would he have changed his opinion? Killing customers just isn't good for business "
"I don't mean to belittle the events of Sept 11th. The events on that day were tragic, unforgiveable, and unforgettable. It was the day I found out the soy chai latte I had been drinking everday was 900 calories"
"People love things that come first. That's why American Airlines' slogan should be 'American Airlines: First through the towers'. Because they were first"
"I was raped by my doctor, which is sort of bittersweet for a Jewish girl."
"what is the world coming to when a nice jewish girl can't say 'chink' on national TV?"
"i'm not racist! in fact i was dating this half-black guy but it ended because i'm stupid and clingy adn i suck...wait- i'm hearing myself say these things, and i'm so pessimistic! i'm sorry, he was half-white..."
"kids need motivation. i told my neice everytime she loses at tag an angel gets AIDS. you know what? she wins."
sung to a retirement home: "You're gonna die soon, you're gonna die soon, we're all gonna die, just not as soon as you guys!"
"Thats not sex. no. reason number one: doody comes out of there. reason number two: doody comes out of there. you really don't need another reason when there's doody involved."