For me this is heaven
Wake up little one!! you see? can't you see? the depths of your own insanity? Why do you do this to yourself? Wake up already!! Open your little brown eyes, look up to the sky and see the dark rain clouds forming above you. Mocking you ... you see ... this is where I say enough is enough. I am lifting my arms to the sky. Take me lord, lead me to where I belong. I am lost. I can't see my way anymore. What is it that you want from me? ... please rain on me ... wash away all this pain. With every drop I can feel more and more pain, lifting off me and splashing to the ground. i don't want to feel this anymore. Take this from me lord. Take it all from me.
How much do I need to take? How much is enough? I love and I fight for this love... but sometimes it seems that this is not enough. I try so very hard ... I know that this pain means that I am alive. But why must it be so strong. Why am I not good enough?! Whatever ... it's not like this mattered to anyone ... and it's not like it ever will ... if it mattered then ... who knows.