Solo parenting day 1/3; so far no casualties

May 26, 2016 21:09

I spent all morning laughing aloud at work at this: Laws Concerning Food and Drink; Household Principles; Lamentations of the Father

(I can't wait until The Bean is old enough to start demonstrating some of these ... while I'm holding a phone to film the incidents. My God, my God, I am so glad that I was a child in an era where film was prohibitively expensive. And all most of the evidence of my online idiocy died with Geocities.)

Bite not, lest you be cast into quiet time. Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, nor against any building; nor eat sand.

Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape? And hum not that humming in your nose as I read, nor stand between the light and the book. Indeed, you will drive me to madness. Nor forget what I said about the tape.

Day 1 was actually good. Super anxious that some calamity will happen tomorrow. But I do not know the day or the hour, right? So, more whiskey until I pass out asleep. =_=

bean

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