Kicking the habit [1/2]
Title: Kicking the habit
Pairings: YunJae (HanChul - if you squint)
Rating: R (for drugs)
Genre: Angst nomnom, smut
Summary: The splitting of Dong Bang Shin Ki affected Yunho much more than Jaejoong could imagine. Too much to the point that he had to seek something that could make him forget, but can Jaejoong make him happy again?
Disclaimer: I own Changmin They belongs to their parents
A/N: My first YunJae! fuckyeah, I love writing about drugs, but idk how this one turned out haha. Hope you enjoy it anyway~
Jaejoong looked out of the window of his new apartment in Seoul and sighed, carefully stroking Jiji’s back as the cat purred happily. The phonecall he just ended with Hankyung made him feel so sick that he actually wanted to throw up. He had no idea what to think or how to react…
He wasn’t in contact with Yunho and Changmin as much as Hankyung was with Heechul, in fact he didn’t have contact with Yunho or Changmin at all, and of course he felt bad about it. He didn’t know how they were feeling, he didn’t know what they were thinking and he tried to forget it…
“Yunho is on drugs,” Was what Hankyung carefully had said to him on the phone that morning, “Heechul told me that Yunho had come to him all stressed and he was literally freaking out. He was high.”
Jaejoong knew about Changmin’s depression, it had started right before the Break Out recording - all broken, all different. Yunho had never felt different, never felt like someone who could so something as low as this. He was the perfect boy - at least he acted like it. Because Yunho always kept his sadness hidden from everyone, being the strong leader he was.
Drugs were a big thing and Jaejoong thought so hard about what in the world caused Yunho to start with it. Of course he knew that the whole lawsuit-thing affected him, it had affected all of them. He should call him but… he couldn’t. But maybe he could call Heechul, he was definitely in contact with Yunho since they had been close friends for a long time. Yes, he should call Heechul. He picked up his phone and dialed the number to the Super Junior member.
“Oh! Jaejoong-ah, it was a long time ago!” Heechul said through the phone. “I didn’t know that I was going to hear your voice ever again kkkk~”
Jaejoong smiled, “Hi Heechul-hyung, I’m not dead you know.”
“Kkkk I know, but still away from the old gang. We miss you dude.”
“I miss you all too.” He sighed, he really did missed all of them…
“You’re calling to ask about Yunho aren’t you?”
Jaejoong was surprised. “How did you-“
“I told Hannie and I assumed that he would tell you since, well, you know… you two have a history and I know that you still care about him too much for your own good.”
Jaejoong sighed again, “I was just so shocked to hear about it. Is it really true that he’s on drugs?”
“Unfortunally yeah,” Heechul answered sadly, “I was so fucking shocked myself you know. Because yeah, he’s totally not that type.”
“That’s exactly was I thought!” Jaejoong exclaimed frustrated. “But how did he act when he came to you? Did he say anything? What drugs does he take?”
“I don’t know which drugs he’s taking. The only thing I know is that that wasn’t the first time he’d been high, according to Changmin.”
“Changmin knows about it?”
“Of course he knows about it, Kyuhyun said it to me the same night Yunho came.”
“Ok, but Changmin doesn’t take anything right?!”
“No, calm down. Your son is okay, just a emo like Jungsu-hyung.”
“Don’t joke about this hyung.” Jaejoong said, as usual Heechul couldn’t be serious for a long time, “What did Yunho say to you?"
“Tsk, then sorry. He just acted strangely and yeah, said how he felt I guess.”
“What did he say?” Jaejoong started to get nervous. He could tell from Heechul’s tone that it wasn’t that good. “Hyung?”
“He’s not feeling good,” Jaejoong felt his heart ache. “He can’t stand this whole situation, he can’t stand that you three seems to be perfectly fine without them, he can’t stand being away from you. Haven’t you noticed? He never smiles wholeheartedly anymore. Never.”
Jaejoong didn’t know. They had left them, their precious leader and magne, and of course they missed them too - they still loved them! And he still loved Yunho by all his heart.
“Jaejoong? Did you die?” Heechul’s voice asked.
“Oh, um sorry. Where does Yunho live now?”
“Well, with Changmin?”
“I know that! But where?”
“Just joking. I think they moved back to your old smaller apartment. You know the one by Yong-“
“Ok! Thank you, hyung~ I’ll send some soju to you as a thank!”
“I don’t drink anymo-“ *click* Heechul stared at his phone, “…the bitch hung up!”
---
He never had driven this fast before, and he prayed to God that no kids or animals would suddenly cross the road, because he would most likely hit them. And being the world famous Kim Jaejoong that he was, running over a child weren’t the best header on the next morning’s newspaper.
Luckily he arrived to Yunho and Changmin’s apartment building safely. He parked the car and ran as fast as he could into the building, up the stairs. His heart raced by the nervousness when he reached the door, maybe this had been a bad idea after all - he hadn’t even thought about what to say or do. And if SM found out about this, he would get killed for sure. “Please Cassiopeia, if you see me or my car outside, DON’T put it out on the internet…”
He knocked on the door and took a deep breath as he heard footsteps inside before a voice called out; “Who is it?”
It was Changmin.
For a few seconds he’d lost his voice, he was too nervous to say anything. He cleared his throat, “Changmin, it-it’s me… J-Jaejoong.”
There was a pause before the door opened, the tall magne standing in the opening, looking at his hyung carefully. “What are you doing here? How did you even-”
He was cut of midsentence when Jaejoong hugged him tightly. “I’ve missed you so much, Changmin-ah!” Changmin didn’t hug back, “You’ve lost so much weight, aren’t you eating?” Jaejoong let go of him and looked at him, searching for Changmin’s eyecontact, Changmin just smiled weakly back at him.
“Hyung, what are you doing here?” Changmin asked again.
“I’m sorry, Changmin-ah. I’m sorry for everything we have-“
“I know you are. Are you here for Yunho-hyung?” Jaejoong nodded. “He’s watching TV right now,” Changmin moved to the other to get inside, “His temper is not that good right now so be careful. I’ll take my leave.”
Jaejoong looked at him surprised, “You’re leaving?”
Changmin smiled, “I’ll go to a friend’s house because I think it’s best if you’re alone you two.”
Jaejoong started to feel slight panic about the thought of being alone with Yunho, but agreed and went inside as Changmin closed the door behind him. Jaejoong stood dumbfounded in the doorway for a while, before taking of his shoes and silently went into the living room.
Yunho wasn’t there, but he could hear quiet sounds coming from the kitchen. He sat down on the cozy couch he had missed so much, he also had too many happy and even some dirty memories surrounding it. He smiled to himself just as:
“Changmin-ah, did you tell the manager that-“ Jaejoong froze as he turned to see Yunho standing behind the couch, staring at him with wide eyes.
Jaejoong felt his face burning, “Yunho-ah…” He stood up slowly, looking at him carefully. He looked so worn out, so extremely tired.
Yunho lowered his head, “Why are you here?”
Jaejoong had more than expected this, “You look tired,” he tried walking towards his leader, but Yunho stepped back.
“Leave.”
Jaejoong stopped, “I’m not going to leave. I have to talk to you.”
“We have nothing to talk about.” Yunho said sternly and turned to leave the room.
“Wait! I’ve talked to Heechul-hyung,” Yunho stopped and turned around.
“You what?”
Jaejoong took a deep breath, “He told me about the drugs,” Yunho sighed and looked down, “Why Yunho? What the fuck? How could you, of all people, sink so low?! You have to be careful! Don’t you know how dangerous it is?!”
Yunho just raised an eyebrow at him, “Do you think I care about your opinion in this?” he met his past lover’s eyes, “It was you who made me start with it anyway.”
Jaejoong looked at him with questioned eyes, “Because we left? Because I left?”
Yunho laughed ironically at him, “You don’t seem to understand how pitiful and helpless Changmin and I felt? Do you have any idea at all, how we felt when you just left?”
“We didn’t mean to…” Jaejoong started slowly, “We had all already talked about it- “
“Of course we had!” Yunho said, “And we, all five of us, had decided to WAIT to do this fucking lawsuit AFTER our 5th album! But you just left! Don’t you remember what we agreed on?!”
Jaejoong looked at him pleadingly, but nodded.
“They say what we fucking agreed on?” Yunho asked with dark eyes. Jaejoong looked down, a tear falling from his eye. “That we would wait and look at the new schedule after new year and see if they wanted to change what we wanted to have changed,” another tear fell from his eye, “if they changed it according to what we wanted, then everything would fine and we would stay. But if they didn’t… then we would do a lawsuit against them together.”
Yunho nodded, “Exactly, and did you follow that promise? No.” Yunho started to walk out of the room.
“Yunho, wait!” Jaejoong screamed after him, “Look, I know that what we did was wrong, but we only wanted to help all of us! We thought that they would get scared of loosing us, so that they would change it in order to keep all of us!”
Yunho snorted, “Did you actually believe that? Are you fucking joking?!” Yunho grabbed a pillow and slammed it hard against the wall, “Of course they wouldn’t change it just because you three left?! Of course they would do EXACTLY what they did! IDIOTS!”
He threw the nearby chair into the same wall and Jaejoong started to cry for real.
“We’re so sorry Yunho! Stop-“
“Sorry my ASS! We’re in TOO much pain! And it’s all your fault! You should’ve fucking seen Changmin’s face when we heard about it all, he looked so fucking broken! How could you?!” Yunho was shaking, eyes unfocused, “FUCK YOU!!” he screamed before he kneeled down on the ground, trying to calm down.
Jaejoong looked at him through blurry eyes, “Yunho-ah…”
“SHUT UP!” he screamed, clutching to his heart, arms shaking almost violently. He suddenly stood up and ran into his bedroom and Jaejoong heard noises of searching through drawers. He walked after Yunho, and was met by the view of him desperately loading a needle with some liquid and tighten a small rope around his bicep.
Jaejoong understood immediately what was going on, “Yunho, don’t!” He ran over to him, but Yunho kicked him away forcefully, “You don’t have to do it, stop it!”
But Yunho ignored him and inserted the needle into his vein, slowly pressing the liquid into it. It was over pretty quickly and the needle was tossed into the bin under the table. Yunho’s shaking faltered bit by bit as he sat with his head in his hands, waiting for the dizzying rush to be over and the comfortable feeling to come.
Jaejoong saw everything as the worst nightmare he’d ever had. The person he loved the most in this world, the person he betrayed, was doing drugs. Not just doing them - he was addicted.
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comments are love ♥
Pairings: YunJae (HanChul - if you squint)
Rating: R (for drugs)
Genre: Angst nomnom, smut
Summary: The splitting of Dong Bang Shin Ki affected Yunho much more than Jaejoong could imagine. Too much to the point that he had to seek something that could make him forget, but can Jaejoong make him happy again?
Disclaimer: I own Changmin They belongs to their parents
A/N: My first YunJae! fuckyeah, I love writing about drugs, but idk how this one turned out haha. Hope you enjoy it anyway~
Jaejoong looked out of the window of his new apartment in Seoul and sighed, carefully stroking Jiji’s back as the cat purred happily. The phonecall he just ended with Hankyung made him feel so sick that he actually wanted to throw up. He had no idea what to think or how to react…
He wasn’t in contact with Yunho and Changmin as much as Hankyung was with Heechul, in fact he didn’t have contact with Yunho or Changmin at all, and of course he felt bad about it. He didn’t know how they were feeling, he didn’t know what they were thinking and he tried to forget it…
“Yunho is on drugs,” Was what Hankyung carefully had said to him on the phone that morning, “Heechul told me that Yunho had come to him all stressed and he was literally freaking out. He was high.”
Jaejoong knew about Changmin’s depression, it had started right before the Break Out recording - all broken, all different. Yunho had never felt different, never felt like someone who could so something as low as this. He was the perfect boy - at least he acted like it. Because Yunho always kept his sadness hidden from everyone, being the strong leader he was.
Drugs were a big thing and Jaejoong thought so hard about what in the world caused Yunho to start with it. Of course he knew that the whole lawsuit-thing affected him, it had affected all of them. He should call him but… he couldn’t. But maybe he could call Heechul, he was definitely in contact with Yunho since they had been close friends for a long time. Yes, he should call Heechul. He picked up his phone and dialed the number to the Super Junior member.
“Oh! Jaejoong-ah, it was a long time ago!” Heechul said through the phone. “I didn’t know that I was going to hear your voice ever again kkkk~”
Jaejoong smiled, “Hi Heechul-hyung, I’m not dead you know.”
“Kkkk I know, but still away from the old gang. We miss you dude.”
“I miss you all too.” He sighed, he really did missed all of them…
“You’re calling to ask about Yunho aren’t you?”
Jaejoong was surprised. “How did you-“
“I told Hannie and I assumed that he would tell you since, well, you know… you two have a history and I know that you still care about him too much for your own good.”
Jaejoong sighed again, “I was just so shocked to hear about it. Is it really true that he’s on drugs?”
“Unfortunally yeah,” Heechul answered sadly, “I was so fucking shocked myself you know. Because yeah, he’s totally not that type.”
“That’s exactly was I thought!” Jaejoong exclaimed frustrated. “But how did he act when he came to you? Did he say anything? What drugs does he take?”
“I don’t know which drugs he’s taking. The only thing I know is that that wasn’t the first time he’d been high, according to Changmin.”
“Changmin knows about it?”
“Of course he knows about it, Kyuhyun said it to me the same night Yunho came.”
“Ok, but Changmin doesn’t take anything right?!”
“No, calm down. Your son is okay, just a emo like Jungsu-hyung.”
“Don’t joke about this hyung.” Jaejoong said, as usual Heechul couldn’t be serious for a long time, “What did Yunho say to you?"
“Tsk, then sorry. He just acted strangely and yeah, said how he felt I guess.”
“What did he say?” Jaejoong started to get nervous. He could tell from Heechul’s tone that it wasn’t that good. “Hyung?”
“He’s not feeling good,” Jaejoong felt his heart ache. “He can’t stand this whole situation, he can’t stand that you three seems to be perfectly fine without them, he can’t stand being away from you. Haven’t you noticed? He never smiles wholeheartedly anymore. Never.”
Jaejoong didn’t know. They had left them, their precious leader and magne, and of course they missed them too - they still loved them! And he still loved Yunho by all his heart.
“Jaejoong? Did you die?” Heechul’s voice asked.
“Oh, um sorry. Where does Yunho live now?”
“Well, with Changmin?”
“I know that! But where?”
“Just joking. I think they moved back to your old smaller apartment. You know the one by Yong-“
“Ok! Thank you, hyung~ I’ll send some soju to you as a thank!”
“I don’t drink anymo-“ *click* Heechul stared at his phone, “…the bitch hung up!”
---
He never had driven this fast before, and he prayed to God that no kids or animals would suddenly cross the road, because he would most likely hit them. And being the world famous Kim Jaejoong that he was, running over a child weren’t the best header on the next morning’s newspaper.
Luckily he arrived to Yunho and Changmin’s apartment building safely. He parked the car and ran as fast as he could into the building, up the stairs. His heart raced by the nervousness when he reached the door, maybe this had been a bad idea after all - he hadn’t even thought about what to say or do. And if SM found out about this, he would get killed for sure. “Please Cassiopeia, if you see me or my car outside, DON’T put it out on the internet…”
He knocked on the door and took a deep breath as he heard footsteps inside before a voice called out; “Who is it?”
It was Changmin.
For a few seconds he’d lost his voice, he was too nervous to say anything. He cleared his throat, “Changmin, it-it’s me… J-Jaejoong.”
There was a pause before the door opened, the tall magne standing in the opening, looking at his hyung carefully. “What are you doing here? How did you even-”
He was cut of midsentence when Jaejoong hugged him tightly. “I’ve missed you so much, Changmin-ah!” Changmin didn’t hug back, “You’ve lost so much weight, aren’t you eating?” Jaejoong let go of him and looked at him, searching for Changmin’s eyecontact, Changmin just smiled weakly back at him.
“Hyung, what are you doing here?” Changmin asked again.
“I’m sorry, Changmin-ah. I’m sorry for everything we have-“
“I know you are. Are you here for Yunho-hyung?” Jaejoong nodded. “He’s watching TV right now,” Changmin moved to the other to get inside, “His temper is not that good right now so be careful. I’ll take my leave.”
Jaejoong looked at him surprised, “You’re leaving?”
Changmin smiled, “I’ll go to a friend’s house because I think it’s best if you’re alone you two.”
Jaejoong started to feel slight panic about the thought of being alone with Yunho, but agreed and went inside as Changmin closed the door behind him. Jaejoong stood dumbfounded in the doorway for a while, before taking of his shoes and silently went into the living room.
Yunho wasn’t there, but he could hear quiet sounds coming from the kitchen. He sat down on the cozy couch he had missed so much, he also had too many happy and even some dirty memories surrounding it. He smiled to himself just as:
“Changmin-ah, did you tell the manager that-“ Jaejoong froze as he turned to see Yunho standing behind the couch, staring at him with wide eyes.
Jaejoong felt his face burning, “Yunho-ah…” He stood up slowly, looking at him carefully. He looked so worn out, so extremely tired.
Yunho lowered his head, “Why are you here?”
Jaejoong had more than expected this, “You look tired,” he tried walking towards his leader, but Yunho stepped back.
“Leave.”
Jaejoong stopped, “I’m not going to leave. I have to talk to you.”
“We have nothing to talk about.” Yunho said sternly and turned to leave the room.
“Wait! I’ve talked to Heechul-hyung,” Yunho stopped and turned around.
“You what?”
Jaejoong took a deep breath, “He told me about the drugs,” Yunho sighed and looked down, “Why Yunho? What the fuck? How could you, of all people, sink so low?! You have to be careful! Don’t you know how dangerous it is?!”
Yunho just raised an eyebrow at him, “Do you think I care about your opinion in this?” he met his past lover’s eyes, “It was you who made me start with it anyway.”
Jaejoong looked at him with questioned eyes, “Because we left? Because I left?”
Yunho laughed ironically at him, “You don’t seem to understand how pitiful and helpless Changmin and I felt? Do you have any idea at all, how we felt when you just left?”
“We didn’t mean to…” Jaejoong started slowly, “We had all already talked about it- “
“Of course we had!” Yunho said, “And we, all five of us, had decided to WAIT to do this fucking lawsuit AFTER our 5th album! But you just left! Don’t you remember what we agreed on?!”
Jaejoong looked at him pleadingly, but nodded.
“They say what we fucking agreed on?” Yunho asked with dark eyes. Jaejoong looked down, a tear falling from his eye. “That we would wait and look at the new schedule after new year and see if they wanted to change what we wanted to have changed,” another tear fell from his eye, “if they changed it according to what we wanted, then everything would fine and we would stay. But if they didn’t… then we would do a lawsuit against them together.”
Yunho nodded, “Exactly, and did you follow that promise? No.” Yunho started to walk out of the room.
“Yunho, wait!” Jaejoong screamed after him, “Look, I know that what we did was wrong, but we only wanted to help all of us! We thought that they would get scared of loosing us, so that they would change it in order to keep all of us!”
Yunho snorted, “Did you actually believe that? Are you fucking joking?!” Yunho grabbed a pillow and slammed it hard against the wall, “Of course they wouldn’t change it just because you three left?! Of course they would do EXACTLY what they did! IDIOTS!”
He threw the nearby chair into the same wall and Jaejoong started to cry for real.
“We’re so sorry Yunho! Stop-“
“Sorry my ASS! We’re in TOO much pain! And it’s all your fault! You should’ve fucking seen Changmin’s face when we heard about it all, he looked so fucking broken! How could you?!” Yunho was shaking, eyes unfocused, “FUCK YOU!!” he screamed before he kneeled down on the ground, trying to calm down.
Jaejoong looked at him through blurry eyes, “Yunho-ah…”
“SHUT UP!” he screamed, clutching to his heart, arms shaking almost violently. He suddenly stood up and ran into his bedroom and Jaejoong heard noises of searching through drawers. He walked after Yunho, and was met by the view of him desperately loading a needle with some liquid and tighten a small rope around his bicep.
Jaejoong understood immediately what was going on, “Yunho, don’t!” He ran over to him, but Yunho kicked him away forcefully, “You don’t have to do it, stop it!”
But Yunho ignored him and inserted the needle into his vein, slowly pressing the liquid into it. It was over pretty quickly and the needle was tossed into the bin under the table. Yunho’s shaking faltered bit by bit as he sat with his head in his hands, waiting for the dizzying rush to be over and the comfortable feeling to come.
Jaejoong saw everything as the worst nightmare he’d ever had. The person he loved the most in this world, the person he betrayed, was doing drugs. Not just doing them - he was addicted.
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comments are love ♥