(no subject)
I think that I want to update. Well, i don't think that I do. I know I want to update. I'm trying to get out of this permanent funk I seem to have going on here. I have no idea what is wrong with me. I'm so happy right now with my life; however, the instant I realize that I have no idea when I will get to hear from Jon again, much less see him again I gradually start in this horrible downward spiral of screaming temporal doom. All that talk about being that pathetic is true. My life revolves around him. We were talking a little bit tonight and he is right. I do need to find a new hobby. I'm done with FF XI considering me and Zack broke up. It would be to weird to be playing with him considering he hates my guts right about now.
I tried to end it well with him, I really did, but there was just way to much bitterness in his feelings. He hates me for breaking up with him but it's almost like what choice do I have? I was not happy with him towards the end. It as the feeling of comfort and that horrible feeling of never finding anything better. If it wasn't for James Miller I have no idea what I would have done.
I want to make a sidebar now and explain how me and Jon met up and all that fun stuff. The horribly amusing thing is that he does not have a clue about the first time we met. In fact he doesn't remember it at all. He walked into Sears shortly after finishing up as much of the trail as he possibly could. He was talking to Sherry, my closest workmate there. He peaked my interest but only because he took away the ONLY person I would talk to at the time. So of course me being the nosy and bored person I am tried to get in on the conversation in which I was shot down repetitively. I didn't think anything of it then, although Sherry did point out that that was the Jon she always talked about. I honestly thought that would be the last I ever saw of him. Then this weird guy starting working in sears shortly afterward. I never knew his name but one day I went to the back office looking for Matt and there was this guy playing his GBA so what did I do? Well being the geek I am I made a comment about approving of the game he was playing. Him being the smart ass he is says "I bet you can't name which game I was playing?" And I spat out final Fantasy IV. He looked a bit amazed as he should have, after all, I am a girl and I have a nice rack. Geeky girls never have nice racks. We started talking a bit and our conversation actually ended with "You play WoW? I can't talk to you." And I had to leave and finish up closing. So after that I saw him around occasionally but never really said much of anything to him. At the time I was happy with Zack and did not feel the urge to pursue him though I will admit the thought had crossed my mind. Then one day I dusted my way down to the Gazebo where James and Sherry were and Jon (By this time I learned his name) as just sitting there when James Miller just starts SHAMELESSLY whoring Jon out. All because I had mentioned to him that I was unhappy with Zack. Then the wheels in my head starting turning. I decided that that was the end of me and Zack. I told Zack that night and him seemed cool with it. He says he was cool with it at the time. So the next day I went to find James miller to tell him that I was a swinger and he starts going on an about how Jon was really interested, I thought he wasn't naturally, and who walks up but Jon. So what do I do? Why bolt of course. I ran faster than anything. It was traumatizing. So I guess he talked to James a little before going back to the LP office and what does James do? Come out to torture me. It was horribly traumatizing. To make matters worse Jon was laughing at me kirking out in the back and showing the video to everyone. When he finally made his way out of the back he strutted around to talk to Lawn and Garden to make me suffer. Of course I spaz out more and try and hide by doing miscellaneous tasks. When he finally came over to ask for my number I spaced out and forgot it. But now that's history.
Hopefully that added some insight on why I owe James so much. Without him I would still be miserable with Zack. That was a big sidebar now that I think about it. I'm done for now.
I tried to end it well with him, I really did, but there was just way to much bitterness in his feelings. He hates me for breaking up with him but it's almost like what choice do I have? I was not happy with him towards the end. It as the feeling of comfort and that horrible feeling of never finding anything better. If it wasn't for James Miller I have no idea what I would have done.
I want to make a sidebar now and explain how me and Jon met up and all that fun stuff. The horribly amusing thing is that he does not have a clue about the first time we met. In fact he doesn't remember it at all. He walked into Sears shortly after finishing up as much of the trail as he possibly could. He was talking to Sherry, my closest workmate there. He peaked my interest but only because he took away the ONLY person I would talk to at the time. So of course me being the nosy and bored person I am tried to get in on the conversation in which I was shot down repetitively. I didn't think anything of it then, although Sherry did point out that that was the Jon she always talked about. I honestly thought that would be the last I ever saw of him. Then this weird guy starting working in sears shortly afterward. I never knew his name but one day I went to the back office looking for Matt and there was this guy playing his GBA so what did I do? Well being the geek I am I made a comment about approving of the game he was playing. Him being the smart ass he is says "I bet you can't name which game I was playing?" And I spat out final Fantasy IV. He looked a bit amazed as he should have, after all, I am a girl and I have a nice rack. Geeky girls never have nice racks. We started talking a bit and our conversation actually ended with "You play WoW? I can't talk to you." And I had to leave and finish up closing. So after that I saw him around occasionally but never really said much of anything to him. At the time I was happy with Zack and did not feel the urge to pursue him though I will admit the thought had crossed my mind. Then one day I dusted my way down to the Gazebo where James and Sherry were and Jon (By this time I learned his name) as just sitting there when James Miller just starts SHAMELESSLY whoring Jon out. All because I had mentioned to him that I was unhappy with Zack. Then the wheels in my head starting turning. I decided that that was the end of me and Zack. I told Zack that night and him seemed cool with it. He says he was cool with it at the time. So the next day I went to find James miller to tell him that I was a swinger and he starts going on an about how Jon was really interested, I thought he wasn't naturally, and who walks up but Jon. So what do I do? Why bolt of course. I ran faster than anything. It was traumatizing. So I guess he talked to James a little before going back to the LP office and what does James do? Come out to torture me. It was horribly traumatizing. To make matters worse Jon was laughing at me kirking out in the back and showing the video to everyone. When he finally made his way out of the back he strutted around to talk to Lawn and Garden to make me suffer. Of course I spaz out more and try and hide by doing miscellaneous tasks. When he finally came over to ask for my number I spaced out and forgot it. But now that's history.
Hopefully that added some insight on why I owe James so much. Without him I would still be miserable with Zack. That was a big sidebar now that I think about it. I'm done for now.