This is so much not a review
... but let me tell you all about Sagittarius, a Yukigumi 1994-1995 revue (I almost wrote 'review'). 'Cause I haven't watched 90s revues in a while and got out of habit (whatever habit I had) and so I must share.
Well, first they have a prologue. Which is basically normal prologue in normal clothes... well, 90s revue normal. Except that Ichiro has the prologue costume in white, which is more or less okay; the majority of the troupe had it in pink, which is... okay, I can live with revue pink. But Yuki, Tom and O-Hana had it in something like off-white with _yellow_ high boots. Yellow. They so reminded me of wellies. And Tom had hair which was, um, spiky. Really, really spiky. Which was, together with wellies, a bit too much for me. But that was just the beginning.
Because then Yuki came out and I wondered for a while whether she was a knight in armour or a robot. But then the rest of the troupe appeared and _they_ definitely were robots. Musumeyaku robots in tutus are disturbing. ... they had a dance, and then Hoshina Yuri peered out from the top of the UFO or whatever it was onstage, and apparently decided that Yuki was lonely, because she then climbed down to dance with her. Yes, she was a robot too. In a blue dress. They all had a dance and then the robots started breaking and getting stuck. And behaving as broken robots do. Which moved Yuki to a song, which was okay.
The next section was to Gypsy Kings song. And started with O-Hana sleeping onstage, and then waking up and going to dance. Then Ichiro appeared, singing, in a military uniform and a beret, which was totally okay with me. ... after that a bunch of other otokoyaku in uniforms appeared and, while Ichiro was singing, started molesting O-Hana. Which finally distracted Ichiro from singing enough to notice that hey, there's a girl being thrown about. Which didn't help any, since it ended in Ichiro getting beat up. And, well, I don't know what they think they were doing, but it really looked like gang rape to me. Which, I guess, beats Tom's zoophilia revue, but still. Really, Takarazuka. ... so, these guys left, with Ichiro and O-Hana lying on stage and not moving. Then Taatan appeared, dressed either as Pierrot or as a white gypsy (or both?) and started singing, while Ichiro and O-Hana started getting up, calming each other, getting better acquainted, dancing around... As it usually goes. And then the bad guys appeared again. And were clearly intending to shoot Ichiro, only O-Hana intervened and got shot instead. After which other white gypsies appeared and started dancing with the bad guys while Ichiro sang, I think, 'Vamos a bailar'.
Then the senior people appeared on the silver bridge, otokoyaku wearing bull heads instead of hats. I looked at the stage and decided we were in ancient Egypt. But I was kinda wrong. I think. Because then Tom appeared, with more disturbing hair and a cape. I was curious enough to decipher that she was Callisto, whatever they meant by that; and then she took off her cape and it became evident that she was wearing a cross between Indian and Egyptian stuff. And silver sneakers (I think). And generally being kind of like Elvis, and having lots of musumeyaku in really short and shiny dresses, and having the time of her life. And dancing with Itsumine Aki, who had even less of a skirt than all the other musumeyaku and demonstrating a convincing attempt to have sex with Tom right there and then.
That was not to be, though, because then on top of the pyramid a gang of gorilla musumeyaku appeared, dressed in pink skirts (that's how I know these gorillas were musumeyaku) and led by a couple of... bird gorilla otokoyaku? At least, they had something like beaks. So, these gorilla musumeyaku replaced Tom's girls, which Tom didn't notice at once. And the girls went to these ... birds. And then everyone left and the bird gorillas came down to bully Tom. ... after which they took off their heads and turned out to be - unsurprisingly - Ichiro and Yuki. And had a bit of a chat on the silver bridge, after which they went on to bully Tom.
And then it was time for a finale. First they tried to convince us that it was a sane revue, which involved O-Hana in a pretty white dress going around with Wao and Yuumi Reo and looking revue normal (as opposed to _90s_ revue normal). But line dance costumes had tails! And on the parade everyone had angel wings.
... and yes, I did like it. Go figure.
Well, first they have a prologue. Which is basically normal prologue in normal clothes... well, 90s revue normal. Except that Ichiro has the prologue costume in white, which is more or less okay; the majority of the troupe had it in pink, which is... okay, I can live with revue pink. But Yuki, Tom and O-Hana had it in something like off-white with _yellow_ high boots. Yellow. They so reminded me of wellies. And Tom had hair which was, um, spiky. Really, really spiky. Which was, together with wellies, a bit too much for me. But that was just the beginning.
Because then Yuki came out and I wondered for a while whether she was a knight in armour or a robot. But then the rest of the troupe appeared and _they_ definitely were robots. Musumeyaku robots in tutus are disturbing. ... they had a dance, and then Hoshina Yuri peered out from the top of the UFO or whatever it was onstage, and apparently decided that Yuki was lonely, because she then climbed down to dance with her. Yes, she was a robot too. In a blue dress. They all had a dance and then the robots started breaking and getting stuck. And behaving as broken robots do. Which moved Yuki to a song, which was okay.
The next section was to Gypsy Kings song. And started with O-Hana sleeping onstage, and then waking up and going to dance. Then Ichiro appeared, singing, in a military uniform and a beret, which was totally okay with me. ... after that a bunch of other otokoyaku in uniforms appeared and, while Ichiro was singing, started molesting O-Hana. Which finally distracted Ichiro from singing enough to notice that hey, there's a girl being thrown about. Which didn't help any, since it ended in Ichiro getting beat up. And, well, I don't know what they think they were doing, but it really looked like gang rape to me. Which, I guess, beats Tom's zoophilia revue, but still. Really, Takarazuka. ... so, these guys left, with Ichiro and O-Hana lying on stage and not moving. Then Taatan appeared, dressed either as Pierrot or as a white gypsy (or both?) and started singing, while Ichiro and O-Hana started getting up, calming each other, getting better acquainted, dancing around... As it usually goes. And then the bad guys appeared again. And were clearly intending to shoot Ichiro, only O-Hana intervened and got shot instead. After which other white gypsies appeared and started dancing with the bad guys while Ichiro sang, I think, 'Vamos a bailar'.
Then the senior people appeared on the silver bridge, otokoyaku wearing bull heads instead of hats. I looked at the stage and decided we were in ancient Egypt. But I was kinda wrong. I think. Because then Tom appeared, with more disturbing hair and a cape. I was curious enough to decipher that she was Callisto, whatever they meant by that; and then she took off her cape and it became evident that she was wearing a cross between Indian and Egyptian stuff. And silver sneakers (I think). And generally being kind of like Elvis, and having lots of musumeyaku in really short and shiny dresses, and having the time of her life. And dancing with Itsumine Aki, who had even less of a skirt than all the other musumeyaku and demonstrating a convincing attempt to have sex with Tom right there and then.
That was not to be, though, because then on top of the pyramid a gang of gorilla musumeyaku appeared, dressed in pink skirts (that's how I know these gorillas were musumeyaku) and led by a couple of... bird gorilla otokoyaku? At least, they had something like beaks. So, these gorilla musumeyaku replaced Tom's girls, which Tom didn't notice at once. And the girls went to these ... birds. And then everyone left and the bird gorillas came down to bully Tom. ... after which they took off their heads and turned out to be - unsurprisingly - Ichiro and Yuki. And had a bit of a chat on the silver bridge, after which they went on to bully Tom.
And then it was time for a finale. First they tried to convince us that it was a sane revue, which involved O-Hana in a pretty white dress going around with Wao and Yuumi Reo and looking revue normal (as opposed to _90s_ revue normal). But line dance costumes had tails! And on the parade everyone had angel wings.
... and yes, I did like it. Go figure.