#035 - him - Ohno/Sho

[yumenosete]

Fic Title: him
Group/Pairing: Ohno Satoshi/Sakurai Sho
Rating: explicit, NC-17 or Hard R, depending on your rating system
Word Count: 6,665
Summary: Sakurai Sho finds his Virtual Assistant upgraded for free, which is more human than he wants it to be. (AU)
Notes:
- Written for the recently concluded Yamaficcon ~Proposals~ held by xrachiebunniex who was also my

Comments

[yumenosete]

Thank you for thinking that it's a good fic! I'm glad to know that you enjoyed my portrayal of both Ohno and Sho since this is my first proper fic with the two of them.

I have no excuses for that: I'm so sorry! I didn't send it to my friend who corrects it usually because I sent the fic on the deadline itself and I think that even if Rachie (the organizer of the contest) did look it over, there would still be mistakes that we must've missed. I reread it before posting here to fix the glaring mistakes and typos but I'm going to go over it again when I have the time (especially the tenses. DX) I'd look for a grammar beta who could look over my fics just so I have someone else in case one is unavailable or to triple check stuff so if you know one who is willing, it'd help a lot :) Again, I'm so sorry for the inconvenience it caused you! /bows

Regarding the sequel though, I'm not really planning on one, leaving it all to the reader's imagination. I'm afraid that anything I would write after that wouldn't be satisfactory since the sequel should then answer who or what Satoshi is: a question that I unfortunately don't have an answer to. But now that you put it that way, that people would want them to directly touch, I'll be thinking about it. :)

Thank you so much for being honest and I'll keep your comments in mind when I write in the future ♥

P.S. I'm a fan of your Ohmiya series and I'd comment in one go after you finished it. I just want you to know that I enjoyed the pain you are giving me with each chapter. I'd be cheering you on!

[rakun]

Hi!

I'm glad you didn't see my comment on your grammar/spelling as an insult. ^^ I also don't know if YOU know, but in my opinion everyone should always have a betareader. In this special case I guess I can understand why you sent it unbetaed due to the deadline, but in general even native speakers need a betareader-- for everything, not only grammar or spelling. And you know why? Because the human brain isn't capable of seeing all the mistakes in texts YOU wrote YOURSELF. It can be the easiest mistakes and I promise you, you will not see them. That's a known fact and easily provable; for example, if you read my fics, maybe you remember my "Of Coffees and Corners"? You see, my grammar and spelling is (imo) rather flawless (not perfect) compared to a lot of other people on the net. And still, the moment when Ohno confessed his love to Nino at the end-- Nino would cry against his chest something like "Are you crazy?!" and Ohno would answer "I'm in love with you".
Fun fact: For like a MONTH or so, in my fic, Ohno said: I love with you.
I didn't notice. My beta didn't notice.

And that's just a LITTLE example of mistakes to happen; this isn't even a tense or spelling mistake, this is just a dumb "I didn't pay attention" mistake. I have tons of mistakes like that, both in my own fics and in the fics I proofread (read: even betareaders don't find all the mistakes), so I can really only recommend you to always have a betareader that can check everything, not only grammar or spelling.

ALSO, you should make sure your betareader is very good at English. I don't know about your betareader so I'm just saying that to make sure. But friendships are nice and all, but a betareader can't help you if their English isn't REALLY good, or better if they are a native speaker. (Mind you, tho: being a native speaker does NOT equal good English.)

/end of talk about grammar and spelling
/sorry I wouldn't even bother if I didn't think you were receptive

Re: ending of your fic
Well, that's your decision! I was just sharing my opinion, saying that I felt like to me the ending was very unsatisfactory because I kind of had hoped for a "better" ending regarding Sho's and Ohno's future. But in the end that's your fic and your decision and that's fine. :)

Re: my fics
Thank you for that cute compliment! I'm glad you like my fics. However, I don't quite dig the "I'll comment in one go"? I'll of course look forward to it, but just as a hint: Comments motivate me to write, so people who comment DURING my writing process (like, after a new chapter has been uploaded) help me a lot more than those people who only comment once my fic is done cuz, you know, then it's done and I can only say "thanks for the comment but I don't really need motivation anymore since, you know, the fic is done". XD
That doesn't mean I don't look forward to your comments tho!! Comments are ALWAYS appreciated, no matter when. I just wanted to say that if you plan on commenting anyway, maybe rather do it during my writing process instead of afterwards-- if you want to help me write faster and stay motivated, that is. :)

Sorry for my long response!

[yumenosete]

Yes, I know what you mean. And don't worry, I'm confident that my friend is great in editing stuff (not just the grammar but the fic in whole). Of course, there would always be something that she would miss (as you kindly pointed out), hence I'm thinking on finding another one. :)

Thank you for understanding :))

And regarding the comments, there are a lot of factors which pushed me to just comment a lengthy one at the end, when I already saw the whole picture that the author has painted for us. (Which is the reason why I rarely read unfinished fictions). Sometimes I forget (SORRY! RL gets in the way); sometimes I think I may say something that would eventually be fixed in the future chapters and I would make a fool of myself; but mostly because I like looking back and describe the roller coaster emotional ride that I felt and then say what I liked and didn't like (if there is any) about the fic in general.

We have different views regarding comments but seeing it from your standpoint, I think I understand why you would love a comment, so I comment I shall ♥ (I do have to apologize in advance that you're not going to get one every chapter /bows)

And don't worry about the long response. I appreciate talking lengthy stuff with someone :D