Daddy Rooster Head Chapter 1
A mop of blond hair bopped down from the steps of the train and moved left. It stopped a few feet after and changed directions. Again it stopped. It disappeared for a moment as it pointed down. When it bopped up again, it repeated its directionless process twice more.
“Excuse me, you must be Naruto Uzumaki.”
The blond mop looked up and Naruto saw a man wearing a very dignified dark suit smiling down at him. He assumed that the man was smiling from the arched eye twinkling down at him. The man’s other eye was covered by an eye patch while a big muffler covered half of his face. He had white hair, quite unusual for someone who looked like he was only in his late 20s. One hand was held up, palm out in greeting, while the other was holding a book whose orange color stood out against the whiteness of the hand.
“Yeah, I’m Naruto Uzumaki. Who’re you?” Naruto asked suspiciously, squinting at the man and his book.
“I am Kakashi, Sharingan-san’s secretary.” The man bowed. When he stood straight again, the book had disappeared. “I was ordered to fetch you and take you to your new school, Shinobi High.”
“Hmm…can I see some ID first?”
“Aren’t you being too cautious?” Kakashi asked jokingly, but he produced a small wallet, which he handed to Naruto.
Naruto glanced at the ID. He almost laughed out loud. Kakashi’s picture showed him with his arched-eye smile, face still half-covered, this time by his name written on a piece of board which he held up with one hand while the other hand was displaying a victory sign.
Name: Kakashi
Occupation: Secretary
Employer: Sharingan ***
The words after Sharingan had been smudged.
“Satisfied?” Kakashi asked as Naruto handed back the wallet.
Naruto shrugged. He really didn’t think anyone would know about him unless they came from his benefactor’s office.
“Yeah. Let’s go Kakashi-san.”
Kakashi held up a hand again. “Please, just Kakashi. You don’t have to address me in any other title. Now, allow me to take your bags.”
Again Naruto shrugged. “Nah! I can carry them.”
“Independent I see,” said Kakashi. “That must be why Sharingan-san likes you.”
Naruto blushed and stuttered a protest.
“Well, since you won’t let me help you with your baggage,” Kakashi continued, holding out a hand, “won’t you please take my hand?”
“Wha-!” Naruto blurted out.
“You are a most important person, Naruto-kun-you will allow me to call you that right? Thank you-and I will certainly lose my job, and probably my life, if anything should happen to you,” Kakashi explained nonchalantly.
Naruto looked at him in horror. “What! Are you kidding?”
“No,” Kakashi answered seriously. “I will already be reprimanded for letting you suffer after you stepped down from the train…”
Naruto’s face scrunched up. “Wha-you already knew me from the moment I came down?”
“Bingo!”
“Then why didn’t you help me? I was really lo-” Naruto clamped his mouth shut. He really didn’t want to acknowledge that he had been most bewildered before Kakashi had found him.
Kakashi’s one eye curved up once more. “Because you were just so cute walking up and down the platform that I couldn’t resist just watching you!”
Naruto’s eyes widened then narrowed at Kakashi’s pleased look. He growled and stomped off.
“Ah! Naruto-kun wait for me!”
“Go away you-pervert!”
“But you might get lost again!”
“I wasn’t lost!”
“The why were you-”
Their voices faded off in the distance.
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Shinobi Private High School
Dear Kind-Trustee-Who-Sends-Orphans-to-School,
Well, here I am! Freshly arrived from the train station. I’m sure you’ve ridden trains your whole life. You probably own one. Have you ever wondered how great it’d be to be able to run as fast as a train? All of the trees and roads and houses would just be a blur as you speed up.
Anyway, I’ve discovered a very important fact of life. MAPS ARE USELESS THINGS. Also, Shinobi High is the biggest, oldest and-gawd! couldn’t they give out better maps around here?! I get lost whenever I leave my room and the maps are nearly useless! Couldn’t the people who planned this place make the halls look different from each other? Good thing classes will start in about a week. That’ll give me time to really get used to this big place.
I know you said that I should write about my progress so consider this my first report. Although it’s really weird to be writing letters to somebody you don’t know. Actually, now that I’ve come to think about it, it’s even weirder that I’ll be writing regularly to somebody at all! I’ve never really been the pen pal type you know so I hope you won’t mind if my letters aren’t the best.
Before leaving yesterday Ebisu-sensei and I had a serious talk (again!). He insisted that I should be Very Respectful to you. But how can I be respectful to someone who wants to be called Sharingan? What exactly does that mean? And how can you employ such an odd person as your secretary? (By the way did you know that Kakashi is an old lech? He was reading a porn novel when he met me in the train station! And what’s his first name anyway? He didn’t want to tell me. He said only you knew.)
I’ve been thinking about you a great deal since you took interest in me. I know this will probably disgust you but I’ve sort of felt that you’ve become my family. I mean you’re taking care of me, not the Konoha Home now. And I feel as if I belong to you now. Although I’ve tried to imagine what you look like, there’s really so little for me to work on. But never fear! Let it never be said that Naruto Uzumaki lacked imagination! Working with what little I have seen, heard, and felt, I can conclude that:
I. You are rich.
II. You are fat.
III. You look like a big rooster.
IV. You don’t really like orphans very much but-
V. You are kind.
I didn’t add the last one because you’re sending me to school and all. Yesterday, when you sent for your car just to pick me up (and despite your strange and perverted secretary!), I was really…touched! Aww, geez, something’s gotten into my eyes!
I better finish this letter fast.
So, since you’ve become my family, is it all right if I call you Daddy Rooster-Head? I know, I know it doesn’t sound respectful-and Ebisu-sensei will probably have a fit if he finds out-but it’ll be just a private pet name between you and me; something that will bond us together.
You won’t be answering anyway, so I’ll just go ahead and use it. Oops, there goes the bell. It’s lights out in five minutes. Heh, there are a lot of new things that I’ve already been experiencing since I got here. One is people here eat and sleep and study by bells!
Good night Daddy!
Yours truly,
Naruto Uzumaki
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To Daddy Sharingan Rooster-Head,
I’ll tell you a secret: This school is sooooo cool! The buildings are great (once you get the hang of traveling through them). The teachers are great (they’re not at all like my teachers in junior high, they actually listen to what I say!). And the people are great too! Before I came here I was a bit shy. I thought that all the students here would be snobs since they all come from rich families. But that’s not the case at all! Yeah there are some high-and-mighty students who think that the world revolves around them. I actually have one of those types as a dormmate. His name’s Neji Hyugaa Uchiha. Neji comes from one of those really old, really powerful, really rich families. He has this long black hair that makes him look girly. He doesn’t look at me at all.
But that’s okay because there’s this other freshman who lives on my floor who makes up for everyone who’s mean here. His name is Iruka Umino. He’s really, really, REALLY kind and friendly. He’s got this scar running across his nose that he got from an accident when he was little. And he likes to put his brown hair up into a ponytail that I sometimes pull just for fun. But that’s okay. He comes from a big family down South and he says that all of his siblings pull his hair and play with him so I can also do that. Isn’t he nice? He and Neji share one room.
Did I mention that I have my own room?! Usually freshmen don’t get single rooms but I got one without asking. I guess the registrar thought that it wasn’t good for an orphan to be rooming with people from respectable families. Oh well, their loss! I love my room! Our floor is at the topmost part of a tower and my room has windows and a great view! After living like sardines with all the other orphans, having a room all to myself is really heaven.
The other guy in our floor is a junior. His name is Rock Lee and he has the thickest eyebrows I have ever seen on a person. They look like really fat centipedes. I keep thinking that they will start crawling all over his face any moment now.
Well, there you have it, Daddy, another update from yours truly. I guess I really just wanted to say thank you. Thank you! Thank you! A million times thank you for sending me to this school.
Oh, Iruka’s just poked his head in. He says he’s treating me to a food called “Ramen” to celebrate our start as freshmen so gotta go!
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Tuesday
Dear Daddy-Rooster-Head,
Have you ever heard of Hokusai?
He was a famous artist during the Kansei and Bunka era. Everybody in my art class seemed to know him and they all laughed when I thought he was this crazy old teacher that I haven’t met yet. The trouble with this new private school is that you’re expected to know a lot of things you’ve never learned. It’s very embarrassing sometimes. Because of that incident I went and bought a big dictionary and a whole range of encyclopedia (don’t worry they were second-hand so they were really cheap). I’ve been looking up things I don’t understand or know ever since.
My old teachers would probably have heart attacks if they found out that I’m actually studying. But, they didn’t really give me much of a challenge when I was studying under them. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this new school, it’s that I’m just as bright, even brighter than the other students!
One of them is that stuck-up Neji. It’s really weird how the registrars mixed up the names for roommates. Iruka is friendly to everyone and is always ready to help, especially me. Neji just stares at people and then he starts spouting off nonsense about fate and destiny. I always tune him out whenever he opens his mouth. He believes that everybody, except the Uchihas, is doomed to live awful lives. Ha! I could tell him a thing or two about escaping fate. I am a living proof that you can change your destiny, after all. Of course it’s all thanks to you daddy.
And now I suppose you’ve been waiting very impatiently to know what I’m learning. Besides Art, I’m taking:
I. Literature: specifically old Japanese literature, including folk tales and mythology. Did you know that there’s this myth about a fox with nine tails that ravaged the lands in the old days?
II. English: we’re into the conjugation of verbs.
III. Geometry: this is really hard but my teacher said that it was just another way to look at art. You know what, he’s right!
IV. Biology: we’ve reached the digestive system tunneling through to the bile and pancreas next. I really hope you don’t like to drink alcohol. It does terrible things to your liver.
We’re also organizing the Freshman kempo team. It’s a type of martial arts that’s kind of anything-goes. Since I haven’t reached my full height potential, yet (I am not short!) and I’m quick and flexible and tough, I think I have a good chance of getting in! I’m having fun practicing. I never knew dodging Ebisu-sensei all those times would be good training for this. And if I mess up some exercises, I just do everything all over again and no one gets angry.
Getting the hang of things,
Naruto Uzumaki
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“Kakashi?”
The man addressed popped his head into the room of his boss.
“Yes?”
“Why were you reading a porn book when you fetched Naruto from the train?”
Kakashi’s face had the grace to look embarrassed.