Its been a long day.
I've been feeling crappy since Saturday night and it was making me nervous so I went into Chicago today to get my shunt checked out.
After a normal looking x-ray and three attempts at a shunt tap, it was determined my shunt is broken again.
I cried for about a half hour straight then calmed down a bit. Grandma took me in today because Mom really had to be at work and she did everything she could to make me laugh so I wouldn't dwell on the fact this will be my 12th surgery *although its only my 10th if you subtract the two brain surgeries...^^;*.
At the moment, the surgery is set for the 23rd because that's the first OR spot Dr. Frim has open. I might get in earlier if they have a cancelation *we're keeping our fingers crossed*. This basically means that I won't be back to class until November *maybe the end of Oct. if I'm really lucky and heal fast* and work is probably out until December.
I'm trying to stay positive this time. So here's a list of the things I'm clinging to:
1)The glyconutrients are definately helping me. I won't get nearly as bad as I used to when my shunt malfunctioned which means I might be able to work on schoolwork.
2)I'll definately be healthy/healed for Phantom on Dec. 1st so I don't have to worry about missing it.
3)Thanks to the Wii, Robbie and I have something we can do together that will keep us both from getting too sad about our situation and I'll have a way to have fun even when I'm stuck in bed.
4)Now that Ali goes to NIU I have a link to my old support system that made being sick easier back in High School.
5)I have plenty of time to gain "cushion" weight via daily peanut butter sandwiches before surgery. For those who don't know, surgery hurts worse for me when my weight drops so the more meat I have on me the better for all concerned.
6)Thanks to Robbie's bday gift to me, I'll have most of my cd collection with me in the hospital this time so I'll have happy music to listen to.
7)I was healthy for my golden birthday and that was all I could've hoped for this year so if it had to happen, now is the best time *if there is such a thing*
I already called work and they were supportive like always *and I managed not to cry for once thank GOD* Tomorrow I have to tell my professors and see how they want to run things until I can come back to class. Thankfully, both of my profs are really nice and I know they'll help me catch up.
I'm going to try not to get really sad this time, but if I do please excuse me. I don't think I'm ever going to get used to having to face surgery and its getting harder to be positive. I know you guys are with me and I'll get through it and be ok eventually. Thanks for letting me get this out. Days like this are always hard for me and if I don't write it out I probably would cry the rest of the night. And that would make my pressure worse. I can't have my family worry about me any more than they already do so I have to get out the sadness where it can't hurt them. *sorry Robbie, I know you can see this, but it'd be silly to think you wouldn't already know how I was feeling about this* Luvluv to you guys and thanks again for letting me vent.
After a normal looking x-ray and three attempts at a shunt tap, it was determined my shunt is broken again.
I cried for about a half hour straight then calmed down a bit. Grandma took me in today because Mom really had to be at work and she did everything she could to make me laugh so I wouldn't dwell on the fact this will be my 12th surgery *although its only my 10th if you subtract the two brain surgeries...^^;*.
At the moment, the surgery is set for the 23rd because that's the first OR spot Dr. Frim has open. I might get in earlier if they have a cancelation *we're keeping our fingers crossed*. This basically means that I won't be back to class until November *maybe the end of Oct. if I'm really lucky and heal fast* and work is probably out until December.
I'm trying to stay positive this time. So here's a list of the things I'm clinging to:
1)The glyconutrients are definately helping me. I won't get nearly as bad as I used to when my shunt malfunctioned which means I might be able to work on schoolwork.
2)I'll definately be healthy/healed for Phantom on Dec. 1st so I don't have to worry about missing it.
3)Thanks to the Wii, Robbie and I have something we can do together that will keep us both from getting too sad about our situation and I'll have a way to have fun even when I'm stuck in bed.
4)Now that Ali goes to NIU I have a link to my old support system that made being sick easier back in High School.
5)I have plenty of time to gain "cushion" weight via daily peanut butter sandwiches before surgery. For those who don't know, surgery hurts worse for me when my weight drops so the more meat I have on me the better for all concerned.
6)Thanks to Robbie's bday gift to me, I'll have most of my cd collection with me in the hospital this time so I'll have happy music to listen to.
7)I was healthy for my golden birthday and that was all I could've hoped for this year so if it had to happen, now is the best time *if there is such a thing*
I already called work and they were supportive like always *and I managed not to cry for once thank GOD* Tomorrow I have to tell my professors and see how they want to run things until I can come back to class. Thankfully, both of my profs are really nice and I know they'll help me catch up.
I'm going to try not to get really sad this time, but if I do please excuse me. I don't think I'm ever going to get used to having to face surgery and its getting harder to be positive. I know you guys are with me and I'll get through it and be ok eventually. Thanks for letting me get this out. Days like this are always hard for me and if I don't write it out I probably would cry the rest of the night. And that would make my pressure worse. I can't have my family worry about me any more than they already do so I have to get out the sadness where it can't hurt them. *sorry Robbie, I know you can see this, but it'd be silly to think you wouldn't already know how I was feeling about this* Luvluv to you guys and thanks again for letting me vent.