The taming of the shrew: Chapter 13 (Sakumoto)
Title: The taming of the shrew: Chapter 13/18
Pairing: Sakumoto
Rating: R/NC-17 (not in every chapter though)
Beta: little_kirin
Genre: smut, romance, bit angst (no AU setting)
Plot: Is it love or hate or attraction? They share a history of ups and downs, from teenage crushes over not talking at all to accepting each other’s presence. Finally, six months ago, Sho approaches Jun, leading to them getting together. Unfortunately they can’t be in a room together without a fight. What they share though is passion, and the only time they get along is in bed. Then, during a drunk night when Jun vents out his anger, Ohno gives him the contact details of his therapist.
At the end, there remains the question: Who actually needs to tame who?
Note: This is going to have some passionate scenes, and will also contain the typical Sakumoto angst and quite some complicated feelings ^^ It was originally meant to have short chapters - some are a little longer though.
It would be a lie to say that Jun didn’t hesitate or that he didn’t find the thought of it really alluring. That he didn’t wish he could finally lie in someone’s arms again and feel peaceful and not torn like he is when he is with Sho. For a second there is even the thought of revenge. I can do the same painful thing to Sho that he did to me.
He did hesitate, and he did think about revenge, and did miss these times when he was still innocent and could believe in someone full-heartedly. He still does. And he wondered how it would be to kiss this pretty guy, right here, right then. To leave his old love behind and find a new one.
But he can’t.
No matter how often Sho hurt him and how cruel he was when they were younger, and how painful the memories still are, he can’t betray him like that. He doesn’t want to get to know a new love, he wants to keep his old one.
“I’m sorry,” Jun says softly before the guy can kiss him. “You are a temptation, really, but I can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t”
They guy sighs first, then he chuckles. “Well, would have been a surprise if you were single,” he says, and Jun is sincerely relieved that he didn’t go for that tiny moment of temptation, just for the sake of forgetting and relaxing. He is sure that afterwards he would have felt horrible.
~~~
“Let’s go.”
Nino looks up in surprise. “What?”
“I need to get away from here before I’ll do something stupid,” Jun says silently.
“But-“
“Sho wasn’t at work today, but didn’t have time for me either. He didn’t call me back although he promised nor did he answer my message. It’s like when we were young. He used to fall into the same patterns. He could be the perfect partner, and only days later he would suddenly turn his back at me. I’m sick of this, Nino, but I need to get home.”
Nino looks worried but he nods nevertheless, and gets up. Of course Jun pays for their drinks, but when they leave, Nino tugs at his sleeve. “He isn’t betraying you, J. He isn’t the same Sho as before.” He pauses. “He isn’t betraying you,” he says, and Jun wonders who he wants to convince with these words.
Jun thinks about the moment at the toilet, and how that guy approached him. What if Sho finds someone who is a lot easier to handle than Jun? Who is able to give him a calm and soothing life? Who won’t yell at him and isn’t difficult? Someone without issues. “You can never be sure about that,” he says, and he is surprised by how steady his voice sounds.
~~~
Jun knows why he went for that drink with Nino and why he needed that distraction. He also knows why he called Sho, and felt nervous about it, and he knows that he didn’t just hear any voice at the other side of the phone, but a woman’s voice. He knows all that, but he refused to face it. The expression he saw on Sho’s face during the last two weeks is the same as when they were young.
It’s just the same expression as years ago when Sho was fucking other dates. It’s the same.
During the next days it’s getting more and more difficult to reach Sho and to talk to him. And against his own will Jun starts getting more impatient again though he tries to keep his cool more than he did before. He holds back rather than to snap at Sho for something, he doesn’t want to scare him away or make him choose someone else over him. Damn it, it makes him realize how deep into this relationship he already is. Having Sho drop him a second time will be too much… How should he deal with that then? He is so scared of this thought that he can’t even tell Toshida about what’s going on, although his therapist senses that something is off.
But he just can’t face it.
“Did you wait for me?” Sho asks when he comes back home. He looks a bit tired and detached.
“Well, I haven’t seen you a lot recently,” Jun says, trying to keep his voice light.
“Jun-“
“You know, I met Toma-kun and Masaki-kun today,” Jun interrupts him, goosebumps appearing on his skin by the tone in Sho’s voice. He knows it’s useless, but maybe he can distract him by rambling about… just anything. “Toma bought a new car and Masaki-kun invited the both of us to his parents’ place for having ramen, and-“
“Jun-san,” Sho interrupts him and approaches him earnestly. He puts his hand on Jun’s arm and presses it slightly. It’s been a long draining day, following a long draining week. And Jun has gotten more depressed every day, and Sho more and more thoughtful.
The look in Sho’s eyes makes Jun almost freeze in panic. “Yes?” he stutters.
“I need to tell you something,” Sho says deadly serious. “I think it’s better if you hear it from me and not from someone else, so that we can discuss how we want to continue with this.”
Something inside Jun’s stomach tugs painfully. “What do you mean?” he manages to rasp out.
“I…” Sho takes a deep breath and Jun feels like shaking him to stop him from continuing. “The last months were great,” Sho states. “And you really tried hard. I know you did. But visiting a therapist, and talking about all the things that happened, made me realize that it’s too much, Jun.”
“What… Sho-san,” Jun begs.
“I’m so sorry,” Sho interrupts him and judging by the look in his eyes he actually really is. “I thought it would work, but it’s just… we can’t make it. It’s unbearable for the both of us. I can’t make you happy. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to become the person who makes you truly happy.”
Something behind Jun’s eyelids starts to burn, and everything gets blurred up. It’s just the same… almost the same as ten years ago. He should have known it. No one changes, a person can’t change, Sho can’t change. “You want to break up?” he says with a hoarse, shaky voice.
“Maybe we should? I’m sorry.” Sho says with a sad sigh.
It’s more than Jun actually can bear, more than he can take, and overflown by anger and disappointment, he just has to blurt it out. “How can you… you… jerk. Again! I knew it… I should have known it.”
“Jun,” Sho uses this indifferent stoic voice that Jun hates so much, but at the same time it's weirdly shaky. “I… I coincidentally met someone else and I didn’t mean for something to happen between us….”
Before Sho can even continue, Jun slaps him so hard that Sho gasps in shock and Jun’s fingertips are tingling from the sudden impact. Damn it, damn this idiot. He moves his hand over his eyes. It burns so much behind his eyelids, but he just can’t let these tears drop down. This guy is definitely not going to see him cry. Never again.
A/N: Not kidding, but I was almost scared of posting this (I feel like you guys might want to slaughter me for this chapter ^^). I feel so mean - What are these two even doing? I think by now they probably ask themsevels this very same question.
So, what do you think? What happened?
Pairing: Sakumoto
Rating: R/NC-17 (not in every chapter though)
Beta: little_kirin
Genre: smut, romance, bit angst (no AU setting)
Plot: Is it love or hate or attraction? They share a history of ups and downs, from teenage crushes over not talking at all to accepting each other’s presence. Finally, six months ago, Sho approaches Jun, leading to them getting together. Unfortunately they can’t be in a room together without a fight. What they share though is passion, and the only time they get along is in bed. Then, during a drunk night when Jun vents out his anger, Ohno gives him the contact details of his therapist.
At the end, there remains the question: Who actually needs to tame who?
Note: This is going to have some passionate scenes, and will also contain the typical Sakumoto angst and quite some complicated feelings ^^ It was originally meant to have short chapters - some are a little longer though.
It would be a lie to say that Jun didn’t hesitate or that he didn’t find the thought of it really alluring. That he didn’t wish he could finally lie in someone’s arms again and feel peaceful and not torn like he is when he is with Sho. For a second there is even the thought of revenge. I can do the same painful thing to Sho that he did to me.
He did hesitate, and he did think about revenge, and did miss these times when he was still innocent and could believe in someone full-heartedly. He still does. And he wondered how it would be to kiss this pretty guy, right here, right then. To leave his old love behind and find a new one.
But he can’t.
No matter how often Sho hurt him and how cruel he was when they were younger, and how painful the memories still are, he can’t betray him like that. He doesn’t want to get to know a new love, he wants to keep his old one.
“I’m sorry,” Jun says softly before the guy can kiss him. “You are a temptation, really, but I can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t”
They guy sighs first, then he chuckles. “Well, would have been a surprise if you were single,” he says, and Jun is sincerely relieved that he didn’t go for that tiny moment of temptation, just for the sake of forgetting and relaxing. He is sure that afterwards he would have felt horrible.
~~~
“Let’s go.”
Nino looks up in surprise. “What?”
“I need to get away from here before I’ll do something stupid,” Jun says silently.
“But-“
“Sho wasn’t at work today, but didn’t have time for me either. He didn’t call me back although he promised nor did he answer my message. It’s like when we were young. He used to fall into the same patterns. He could be the perfect partner, and only days later he would suddenly turn his back at me. I’m sick of this, Nino, but I need to get home.”
Nino looks worried but he nods nevertheless, and gets up. Of course Jun pays for their drinks, but when they leave, Nino tugs at his sleeve. “He isn’t betraying you, J. He isn’t the same Sho as before.” He pauses. “He isn’t betraying you,” he says, and Jun wonders who he wants to convince with these words.
Jun thinks about the moment at the toilet, and how that guy approached him. What if Sho finds someone who is a lot easier to handle than Jun? Who is able to give him a calm and soothing life? Who won’t yell at him and isn’t difficult? Someone without issues. “You can never be sure about that,” he says, and he is surprised by how steady his voice sounds.
~~~
Jun knows why he went for that drink with Nino and why he needed that distraction. He also knows why he called Sho, and felt nervous about it, and he knows that he didn’t just hear any voice at the other side of the phone, but a woman’s voice. He knows all that, but he refused to face it. The expression he saw on Sho’s face during the last two weeks is the same as when they were young.
It’s just the same expression as years ago when Sho was fucking other dates. It’s the same.
During the next days it’s getting more and more difficult to reach Sho and to talk to him. And against his own will Jun starts getting more impatient again though he tries to keep his cool more than he did before. He holds back rather than to snap at Sho for something, he doesn’t want to scare him away or make him choose someone else over him. Damn it, it makes him realize how deep into this relationship he already is. Having Sho drop him a second time will be too much… How should he deal with that then? He is so scared of this thought that he can’t even tell Toshida about what’s going on, although his therapist senses that something is off.
But he just can’t face it.
“Did you wait for me?” Sho asks when he comes back home. He looks a bit tired and detached.
“Well, I haven’t seen you a lot recently,” Jun says, trying to keep his voice light.
“Jun-“
“You know, I met Toma-kun and Masaki-kun today,” Jun interrupts him, goosebumps appearing on his skin by the tone in Sho’s voice. He knows it’s useless, but maybe he can distract him by rambling about… just anything. “Toma bought a new car and Masaki-kun invited the both of us to his parents’ place for having ramen, and-“
“Jun-san,” Sho interrupts him and approaches him earnestly. He puts his hand on Jun’s arm and presses it slightly. It’s been a long draining day, following a long draining week. And Jun has gotten more depressed every day, and Sho more and more thoughtful.
The look in Sho’s eyes makes Jun almost freeze in panic. “Yes?” he stutters.
“I need to tell you something,” Sho says deadly serious. “I think it’s better if you hear it from me and not from someone else, so that we can discuss how we want to continue with this.”
Something inside Jun’s stomach tugs painfully. “What do you mean?” he manages to rasp out.
“I…” Sho takes a deep breath and Jun feels like shaking him to stop him from continuing. “The last months were great,” Sho states. “And you really tried hard. I know you did. But visiting a therapist, and talking about all the things that happened, made me realize that it’s too much, Jun.”
“What… Sho-san,” Jun begs.
“I’m so sorry,” Sho interrupts him and judging by the look in his eyes he actually really is. “I thought it would work, but it’s just… we can’t make it. It’s unbearable for the both of us. I can’t make you happy. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to become the person who makes you truly happy.”
Something behind Jun’s eyelids starts to burn, and everything gets blurred up. It’s just the same… almost the same as ten years ago. He should have known it. No one changes, a person can’t change, Sho can’t change. “You want to break up?” he says with a hoarse, shaky voice.
“Maybe we should? I’m sorry.” Sho says with a sad sigh.
It’s more than Jun actually can bear, more than he can take, and overflown by anger and disappointment, he just has to blurt it out. “How can you… you… jerk. Again! I knew it… I should have known it.”
“Jun,” Sho uses this indifferent stoic voice that Jun hates so much, but at the same time it's weirdly shaky. “I… I coincidentally met someone else and I didn’t mean for something to happen between us….”
Before Sho can even continue, Jun slaps him so hard that Sho gasps in shock and Jun’s fingertips are tingling from the sudden impact. Damn it, damn this idiot. He moves his hand over his eyes. It burns so much behind his eyelids, but he just can’t let these tears drop down. This guy is definitely not going to see him cry. Never again.
A/N: Not kidding, but I was almost scared of posting this (I feel like you guys might want to slaughter me for this chapter ^^). I feel so mean - What are these two even doing? I think by now they probably ask themsevels this very same question.
So, what do you think? What happened?