Crimson Heart (KokiJin)
Title: Crimson Heart
Pairing: Koki/Jin
Rating: PG-13
One-shot
Genre: AU, bit angst, suspense, romance
Warning: Set in 18th century, but with no historical reference/background/etc.
Summary: Once, as young boys, Koki and Jin swore eternal love to each other. But then a horrible tragedy happens and Jin suddenly disappears. 20 years later fate brings them together again. But this time Jin is an assassin and Koki tries to protect his friends, himself and his old love. But can he really save them all?
Note: Requested by gagulan. I hope you'll like this <3
15th of November, 1786
His body was aching when he opened his eyes. He didn’t know when exactly it happened that he lost conscience but it had to be somewhere during the last three days, when they had brought him to this place.
Now he was in this room. It didn’t look like a cell. More like a normal room, just the lock at the window indicated what this here was.
And the door was locked.
At least that’s what Koki expected. Still, he crawled out of the bed and stumbled towards the door, tugging at it.
It was locked. Of course.
12th of April, 1760
Koki had seen the young boy a few times already. He was new in this town, his whole family just moved to this place.
“You should be nice to him.”
Koki looked up at his mother in surprise, blushing slightly. “Who?”
She shook her head a bit and smiled. “The Akanishis are new here. I know that the children here are avoiding their son. It’s the color of his skin. His nose. It’s almost like he is not Japanese. They don’t know that the look of a person is not what makes them Japanese. His parents are good people.”
“Yes,” Koki stuttered, avoiding it to look at her. She was right, the things the kids in their town were talking about Akanishi’s son weren’t exactly nice. It weren’t only words though. He knew that they were following him around sometimes, tugging at him, beating him, kicking him. Being nasty.
Koki didn’t like it. He just wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to stand on this guy’s side. Walk against the crowd…
15th of November, 1786
“So, you are awake?”
Koki winced slightly when he heard a voice right behind him. He didn’t know that someone was in the room, but when he shifted his gaze he could see how this man suddenly stepped out of the shadow next to the door. It was the same guy who had kidnapped him. Or rather: Who had mistaken him for someone else and kidnapped him. Koki didn’t regret it that he spoke up for Taguchi that day and pretended to be him. Taguchi had it rough and finally he had found his happiness - now this guy had wanted to take it away from him. Koki couldn’t let that happen. He wasn’t particularly brave, but he believed in the way his parents had raised him. When this guy would kill him, he could at least die with the knowledge that he saved another life.
Koki looked at the guy properly. He seemed to have beautiful eyes, well-shaped lips when he was talking… Something inside him suddenly kept ringing… like he knew this man. But this was impossible, wasn’t it? Where should he know him from? And it was too dark in the room to really make out his features, he was more like a shadow.
“Finally I found you, Taguchi Junnosuke,” the guy’s eyes went dark with hate. “I’ve been searching for you since years.”
“But why?” Koki was sincerely surprised. Why would someone hate Taguchi? Taguchi was one of the kindest people he knew. Naïve even. He couldn’t even kill a fly.
“You will soon learn,” the guy hissed, increasing Koki’s surprise. “I’ll take revenge on you.”
“But I didn’t do anything!”
The guy chuckled. “Who cares? I just want to ruin your life and your parents’.”
His parents? Taguchi’s parents? Koko frowned slightly. Taguchi didn’t have anything to do with them since years already. They were wealthy people, used to get what they wanted. Corrupt, cold-hearted, mean. Taguchi had left them already years ago, because he didn’t want to live with them. He rather chose a life in poverty, where he had to work hard to make himself a living.
“Jin, are you coming?”
“Yes,” the guy looked at Koki insistently. “I’ll come back.” With that he left, leaving Koki behind.
Jin?
Koki’s ears rang when he heard that name, he snuck closer to the small window, his eyes scanning the young man that had just left him alone. The eyes and the lips had already made his thoughts go crazy, but the moment he heard this name, his world stopped for a moment.
Jin?
20th of April, 1760
“Leave him alone!” Koki spread his arms to stop the guys from hitting the boy and from molesting him.
“Do you really want to be on his side,” one of the boys hissed. Kei. He was older than some of the others, coming from a wealthy family.
“I’m not letting you boss around everyone,” Koki’s eyes darkened when he crossed his arms in front of his body. “If you want him, you need to pass me first.”
They tried. But Koki was a good fighter, coming from an old traditional family his father had started to train him very early. It wasn’t an easy fight though, because they were many and he was alone, but in the end he won.
Koki was panting heavily, feeling exhausted from the fight and he could feel several bruises spreading on his body. He dropped down on the ground, trying to catch his breath.
“Are you alright?”
Koki was surprised that the other boy was still there. He had thought that he would disappear as soon as possible and run away. But now he was kneeling next to him, touching his face.
“You don’t look too good…”
Koki chuckled. The boy was pretty, much to his surprise, because he hadn’t looked at him properly before. And his voice was beautiful. “I’m fine.” He paused. “What’s your name?”
The other boy smiled slightly. “Jin.”
15th of November, 1786
Jin…
Koki got pulled out of his thoughts, eyes widening in shock. It couldn’t be, could it? But… Jin… he hadn’t seen him since years already, since the day that…
Koki swallowed. Was that the reason for everything? But it was so long ago.. and what did it have to do with Taguchi?
He walked away from the door, sitting down on the bed. Jin changed so much. There was nothing remembering him of the boy he was once, his best friend. Just his lips… and the eyes, but they had lost the warm and kind look in them.
Koki touched his neck, rubbing it in concentration, before he let his fingers wander down towards the necklace he was wearing. It was old and the color had disappeared from it, but he had never taken it off.
11th of June, 1766
“What are you doing here?” Koki chuckled slightly when he watched how Jin made a floral wreath. It was pretty. Out of daisies and dandelions.
“Practising,” Jin smirked, laughing at Koki’s surprised expression.
“For what?”
Jin had turned into a cool and good-looking guy. There was nothing about him that still remembered anyone of the shy kid he was once. But Koki could still see it in his eyes sometimes… a certain softness. Now it was there again, because Jin’s eyes gleamed happily. “My sister’s marriage.”
“EH!?” Koki’s eyes widened in surprise. “I didn’t know she was going to get engaged! That’s great Jin. She is such a beautiful and sweet girl. She deserves it. Who is she marrying?”
Jin’s cheeks flushed in a slight red because of happiness and thankfulness about Koki’s words. “Kamiyama-san’s son.”
“Wow,” Koki shook his head in surprise. “That’s a good marriage.”
“I know,” Jin smiled. “It was a coincidence that they met. You remember when she was on her way back home from the neighbour town? She stumbled and hurt her ankle. He was coincidentally coming the same way and carried her home. That’s when they started to, well, go out.”
“I see,” Koki nodded his head, but something inside him was twitching nervously. Kamiyama’s family was a very influential one… and Jin’s sister - though his family was quite well established - was way beneath their standards. Koki couldn’t put a finger on it yet, but something inside him felt uncomfortable about this.
“You look kinda angsty,” Jin joked. “Here.” He put the floral wreath on top of Koki’s head, grinning smugly. “Fits you.”
Koki glared at his friend. “You better take this off right away.”
“Why? Are you afraid to embrace your inner beauty?” Jin joked.
“You are so stupid sometimes,” Koki huffed. “I’m not a girl.”
“Well, who cares?” Jin smiled slightly. He robbed closer towards Koki, reaching out his hand to touch his hair. “I think you are beautiful.”
It happened so fast that Koki didn’t know which one of them was initiating it. He just knew that suddenly he felt warm plush lips against his, pulling him into a heated kiss.
It was two weeks later that Jin gave Koki a necklace as a present. He had made it himself. They were young, overwhelmed by their feelings. Jin had sworn him eternal love and Koki had sworn Jin to protect him, forever.
None of them knew were these feelings between them were leading them to, but they couldn’t back off anymore. They simply wanted to cling to each other… forever. They both believed in their promises.
17th of November, 1786
They were changing locations to make it difficult for anyone to actually find them. It would be impossible for Taguchi and Kame and the others to find Koki like that, he knew that. But he bet that they were not the only ones searching for Jin and his men… they were a secret organisation. Assassins.
Jin most likely didn’t recognize him anymore. Koki had changed a lot. As a kid he was almost cute, the pretty type, now he grew manly and athletic. When he looked at old pictures from himself he sometimes couldn’t even recognize himself anymore. So, it was no surprise that Jin didn’t either.
Besides he didn’t recognize Jin immediately either. Well, after looking at him for a while, after talking to him there was no doubt for Koki anymore that it was him.
One part of him wanted to hurry to Jin’s side and tell him who he was, but the other part of him held back. Jin had kidnapped him. He had wanted to take Taguchi away and accidentally took him - he didn’t know his mistake yet and Koki didn’t want him to know. Taguchi was not a strong fighter and he didn’t want him to be in such a situation. Besides, Jin grew into such a dark and angry guy… he might be able to break Taguchi.
Koki was stronger.
He didn’t know what had happened to Jin, what had turned him from the nice and friendly guy he was into this monster. By now Koki knew that Jin had been responsible for many deaths in the most wealthy and dangerous clans of the country. He was working in the underground now, hunting people.
Hunting Taguchi.
Why?
Koki sighed in frustration. He wished Jin would be a stranger, so that he could hate him, but as long as these memories were hunting him it was really difficult to forget about him.
15th of March, 1767
Koki wondered why Jin didn’t come to their normal meeting point, where they would meet every two days. He waited for almost three hours, then he went home.
He heard it from his mother. She was crying as if it was her family that was affected.
In his life Koki had never felt that angry again. So hurt… though it wasn’t him getting hurt, but the pain he felt for his friend was almost too real.
He didn’t wait any longer or listened to anything his mother said. He just jumped up, hurried outside and rushed towards Jin’s house.
But Jin was not there anymore. No one was.
The silence that was engulfing Koki when he stood in the empty rooms was almost crushing him. It was only a shadow of the tragedy that happened there.
18th of November, 1786
“What are you doing here?”
“Cooking,” Koki answered calmly. “I’m not the type who sits around and does nothing.”
“You do realize though that you are our hostage,” Jin looked at Koki piercingly.
For a moment Koki felt like chuckling, but he thought it would be better not to say anything. This Jin here was unpredictable, but some of his reactions were still so similar to what he would say when they were still young, best friends and lovers. “I know,” he finally answered warily. “But I don’t like to be useless.”
Jin was obviously surprised. Most likely he had gathered some information about Taguchi beforehand and had expected an entirely different character. Koki’s calm and strong attitude was definitely coming as a surprise for him.
Koki had to grin at that. After all this time he was still able to surprise Jin and get this confused, almost adorable expression from him. The next moment Koki bit down on his lips. What was he thinking here? Jin wasn’t his Jin anymore… he was far away from being the guy he once knew.
Besides even if he knew that he wasn’t Taguchi, but Koki, what would that change? He would be mad - who knew what he would do then? Kill Koki? And then…hunt down Taguchi again. Koki couldn’t let that happen.
Jin was his old life. Taguchi and Kame were his new life. That’s what was making this so difficult. He knew that his heart was still clinging to Jin. While he was drawn with fondness and friendship to Taguchi and Kame.
“I made gyoza,” Koki decided to talk to this Jin a bit more. He was watching his face properly. “It’s an old secret recipe.” It really was. Jin used to love this when he was a kid.
His eyes didn’t leave Jin’s face when he was eating it. And then there it was… Koki could have sworn that he saw tears in Jin’s eyes.
24th of April, 1771
Koki wasn’t able to find Jin anywhere. He had searched, desperately. The moment he had disappeared without any notice, Koki had started his search - almost four years ago. He could only imagine how desperate and pained Jin had to feel now… so crushed that he didn’t even want to see Koki anymore.
Most likely he had cut all his ties to everyone he knew, closing himself up from them, so that it would be easier not to come back.
Koki was trying to go back to a normal life, but it was almost impossible to forget Jin. Even after he opened up his own business, he was still looking around for him - whenever he came to a new place, he would search for a sign.
The 24th of April was the day he heard about it for the first time. The strange murders that had happened in the country. All of the killed men where prestigious one, rich ones - but also those who seemed to be corrupt or rumoured to be involved in dirty things. It was a group of assassins behind these murderers.
Koki didn’t know why he thought of Jin here, but something inside him was tugging at him almost painfully.
He remembered when they were still young, still together, how they used to talk about politics and how they despised corruption, these men who bought women as their mistresses just to let them get killed when they didn’t want them anymore… Jin had felt so disgusted by it.
The men that got killed were the same.
19th of November, 1786
Koki wondered why Jin was visiting him in his room (or rather cell) regularly. Maybe he felt drawn to his calm and strong aura, because that was the thing that had drawn Jin to him when they were kids.
Strangely they never talked about what happened a few days ago. They didn’t voice how Jin bumped into the gathering of Koki and his friends and asked for Taguchi. And how Koki had stepped forward, pretending to be Taguchi.
Koki wasn’t sure why none of them voiced it. It was almost like they were living in a bubble, closing out everyone else and pretending - if only for a moment - that their world was alright.
Maybe, Koki thought, Jin hadn’t forgotten his feelings for the Koki he loved years ago… maybe it was still present inside him, unconsciously drawing him towards the new Koki… the guy he thought was Taguchi.
Koki knew this was a confusing thought and that most likely Jin searched Koki’s presence because it remembered him of his teenage love.
But Koki believed in fate. Even after all these years.
“What are you doing here?” Jin wanted to know.
“Meditating,” Koki answered calmly. He was sitting on the floor now, crossleged, arms resting on his legs softly.
“What!?” Jin was obviously taken aback by that answer. “Meditating”
“It’s important to keep your inner strength,” Koki explained. “You can only fight properly if you are strong in the inside.”
He could see it in Jin’s eyes, how something was twitching inside him. He looked sad all of a sudden. Then, much to Koki’s surprise, Jin was suddenly sitting next to him. “Teach me,” he demanded. “How to find my inner strength.”
18th of July, 1772
He had met Jin. He had met Jin. He had met Jin.
Jin.
And though Koki has pretended like he was moving on from this story that happened years ago, moving on from loving Jin, it all crumbled when he saw him.
He knew it was him, immediately. He still looked like his teenage self, just his face had hardened, his features were angry.
Koki couldn’t really blame him though.
One part of him wanted to run to Jin and hug him, but the other part held him back. Years later he wondered if he did wrong at that moment. If he had run to Jin and hugged him and tried to convince him to stop his revenge, his hate… replacing the scars in his soul with his love… if things would have turned out differently.
But at that evening he didn’t think any of these things… He was just frozen in shock to see Jin. And he felt a strange feeling inside him - guilt. Had he tried hard enough to protect Jin back then? His sister? His family? He had already sensed that something was off, but it was only a feeling - he couldn’t share it with anyone.
But today was the first day that Koki suddenly thought about this again. He had shoved it away the moment the tragedy happened, not wanting to deal with these feelings, but now it came back to him. And the guilt washed over him.
How much of this was actually his fault? For letting it happen, by not saying anything?
Jin got totally wasted. And also then Koki only approached him carefully. It was hardly anyone around so Koki dared to reach out his hand, touching the other man’s hair softly, his fingertips tracing the skin of Jin’s face. He bent forward, placing a soft kiss on his lips - careful not to wake him up. Then the latter suddenly sneezed and Koki moved away in panic.
20th of November, 1786
The feelings of guilt were suddenly awakening in him again. That’s why he challenged Jin.
“You think by kidnapping someone you can solve a problem?”
“What?”
“I think you are running away from something else,” Koki mused. “And the reason for taking me along is just a silly excuse for the own guilt you feel. Like it would make you feel better…”
He should have known it better of course, but for a moment it felt almost relieving to feel Jin’s fist hitting him.
It’s not like Koki couldn’t have hit back. He was pretty sure that something was holding Jin back from killing him. He could have done it several times already and Koki knew it wasn’t planned that Jin and his underground guys tugged him along for such a long time. Maybe something inside Jin already realized that it wasn’t Taguchi who was with him, but Koki. Or maybe he didn’t realize it yet, but there was something else holding him back.
So, Koki could have hit back - he was strong enough to take it up with Jin - but what would it help them? Violence would just lead to more violence.
44th of September, 1775
Koki checked the young man in front of him properly. “Taguchi Junnosuke you say?”
“Yes, sir. That’s me. I know I don’t know much, but I can work hard and I won’t ever find any excuses not to work. You can rely on me.”
The guy was lean, looking kinda weak, but Koki liked the way he smiled and his whole attitude. Maybe it was annoying to some people, but that was actually the attitude Koki had been looking for: hard-working. Besides that this guy came out of a poor background, had no money to learn something, he was almost living on the streets. It melted Koki’s heart.
“Fine, you can start tomorrow. Don’t be late.”
Koki had been right. Taguchi could be a pain in the butt occasionally, but overall he was a good guy.
“I can’t possibly drink another cup of this sake,” Taguchi leaned back, brushing through his hair.
Koki blinked. “Already?”
“Well, a man needs to know when to stop.”
“Junno, you just had one cup!”
“Spare me, Koki, I…”
Koki didn’t manage it to hear Taguchi’s excuse, because they were interrupted by a guy approaching them. “Hey, Koki.”
“Kame!” Koki jumped up, hugging Kame. “I didn’t know you were back in town!”
“Well, I thought I could surprise you,” Kame grinned, before he turned around to face Junno. “Oh, a new face. I’m Kamenashi Kazuya.”
Taguchi swallowed nervously. He was sure that he had never seen such a beautiful guy before. “Taguchi Junnosuke,” he stuttered.
That’s how they met each other.
Koki was happy for them when he realized that they were hitting it off. One part of him felt sad though, because it reminded him of his own feelings that never died, no matter how much he tried to get over them.
20th of November, 1786
Jin came back. Koki figured that one part of him was feeling bad for hitting Koki. It made Koki feel relieved that there was still something from the old Jin left.
When he handed him a wet cloth, Koki had to smile. Jin was still the same hot-headed idiot like before. Maybe something inside him was really remembering the feelings he once had for Koki, without even realizing that it was Koki next to him.
He raised his gaze, something in his stomach tugging at him painfully when he met Jin’s eyes. That’s when he realized that he couldn’t go on like that. He couldn’t stay Jin’s hostage and he couldn’t pretend to be Taguchi forever. Eventually Jin would find out. And then?
Before that happened, Koki needed to make sure to save Taguchi. And maybe also Jin.
“Akanishi-san…” Koki looked at the other insistently. “Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Holding me as a hostage.”
Koki could see it immediately how Jin’s eyes darkened all of a sudden, the almost calm glance from before gone. But that’s exactly where Koki wanted him now. He needed to push this buttons to make Jin realize that he wasn’t able to be such a bad guy.
“Like you don’t know…” Jin rasped out, his voice vibrating in anger.
“But I don’t,” Koki sat down on the futon, looking at Jin through helpless eyes. “What did I do?”
Koki flinched a bit when Jin was suddenly kneeling in front of him, his hands grasping his shoulders tightly, shaking him. “It’s your family’s fault that she’s dead! And now it’s my turn to take everything away from them!”
Koki was seriously surprised. Taguchi’s family? But what had they to do with the incident so many years ago!? Besides that Taguchi wasn’t even in touch with his family anymore. Whoever they were. “I’m living separately from my family, because I hate the way they handle others, their corruption, them walking over people to raise the family’s fortune.”
For a moment something in Jin’s eyes flickered, but then his eyes were dark again. “I don’t believe you. Stop lying!”
Koki frowned, not letting him be intimated here. No matter what happened to him, he needed to get Taguchi out of this story. “I’ve left them! I was disinherited. I’ve been living on the streets, until I finally found someone who gave me a job! Why can’t you see the truth!?”
For a moment it was so calm around them that Koki could almost hear the tension in the air. When Jin jumped up and slapped him hard, he had expected it. It didn’t exactly come as a surprise. “I said stop talking! I’ve lost everything because of your family! EVERYTHING.”
Koki gasped for air for a moment when he felt Jin’s body pressing him down. His eyes widened when he suddenly felt hands on his body, touching him.
“I’m gonna destroy your family too, for what they did to mine. It’s their fault that she isn’t here anymore. It’s their fault that they are all gone. It’s their fault that I’m all alone.”
Koki was too taken aback to struggle and get free from Jin, too surprised at these words. One part of him felt hurt by what he heard. I’m all alone.
I was there, Jin. You just forgot about me.
124th of December, 1779
Koki heard stories about this guy, who was named Jin and who was fighting for justice against the corrupt nobility. He didn’t know if it was the same Jin he knew. Even if it was Jin, he was sure that it wasn’t the same guy anymore. It was a different Jin. A person who had lost his love and his soft heart and turned into someone seeking for revenge.
He would have liked to hate Jin for what he was doing, but he couldn’t. Too deep were these feelings inside him, not only those of love, but also those of pain and anger when he found out what happened many years ago. When Jin suddenly disappeared.
“You are so silent today, Koki.”
Koki looked up, chuckling slightly when he saw how Taguchi and Kame were leaning against each other, hopelessly in love. These two idiots.
Koki didn’t know where these two were heading to or how serious it was between them, until he coincidentally heard a talk between them.
"Why are you never talking about your family, Junnosuke?” Kame’s voice sounded soft and alluring. “You can share it with me, you know that.”
“I know,” Taguchi looked away for a moment. “But…what if you’ll hate me then.”
“For what? For your family?” Kame laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous Junno, I would never hate you for something your family did.”
“They are bad,” Taguchi looked at his lover sadly. “Really bad. Do you know how it is to grow up as a child of such parents? People who would do anything to get their way and to get things working for their advantage? They killed. They’ve even destroyed a family. Many years ago. My poor brother. They killed him too, because his wishes were in their way. That’s why I left them, I couldn’t bear it anymore. I loved my brother, he was such a good guy. Back then I was too young to understand, I thought he died in an accident, but later I found out what really happened. I couldn’t stay with these people anymore. So, I left. They disinherited me of course, but it didn’t matter. I rather prefer it to be without money than to live their life.”
“Poor you,” Kame looked at his friend in shock. “That’s a horrible sorry. I wished I was there for you earlier.” He put an arm around the other’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “But I’m now, okay? I won’t let you be sad anymore. And Koki won’t either, right Koki?”
Koki blushed slightly when he heard Kame’s voice, realizing that the other knew he had been listening. “Sorry guys, I didn’t want to listen secretly, nevertheless Kame-kun is right, I won’t let anything happen to you. You know what…” Koki smiled. “From now on I’ll be your family okay? I’ll be a brother for you and I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
20th of November, 1786
The hate in Jin’s eyes made Koki flinch. For a moment he seriously worried if he got himself into a really bad situation here. And if he had pushed it too far.
But this here was Jin. He needed to save him. And Taguchi. He had promised both of them to be there for them and watch out for them, and he needed to hold on to this promise.
“It’s okay Jin,” Koki mumbled. “You can take whatever you want from my body.”
Jin’s gaze flickered again, but unfortunately he didn’t fight enough. Apparently he still thought that Koki was tricking him. He straddled the other’s hips easily, he had grown into a strong man over the past years - it was easy for him to overpower Koki, who was smaller and thinner than he was. And most likely weaker. Koki could feel cold fingers ripping his shirt from his body. It sent a first shiver of cold through his body. Then there were fingers touching him roughly, before they were undoing his pants.
Koki’s breath was going heavily now, he didn’t know what to do anymore or what to say. He had definitely run out of words. He had wished to be close to Jin again for years, he wanted to shower him with love and warmth, all the things he had lost, but not like this. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Pictures were suddenly popping up in his mind, how he had his first time with Jin, far away from the town, after they had been riding out with their horses. They had to hide because of a sudden rain. It was a small cave they found and Jin had soon lightened up a fire. Then it had happened - they slept with each other. It was new and a bit weird and not all that pleasant, but they had never felt that close to someone again. Intimacy. It was only them, the warmth around them and the noise of the rain outside. They had joked about it later, how apparently rain was their good luck charm.
“Jin, it’s okay, I’ll keep my promise…even if it’s not raining.”
Koki blinked in confusion when Jin’s grip on his hips suddenly loosened.
“What did you just say?” the latter asked sharply.
“What?” Koki blinked in confusion. He had been remembering his time with Jin and didn’t realize that he said something. “Did I say something?”
“Yes,” Jin frowned. “Something about rain.”
Koki looked at the other in confusion, but then he gathered his senses and sat up, looking at Jin piercingly. “So what if I talked about rain?”
“What…”
“Why are you stopping, Jin?” Koki looked at the other sharply. “Found the last piece of your humanity again? We both know it… you are not a guy who lives like that and hurts people like that.”
Koki could see how Jin was obviously taken aback by Koki’s words and also by his confusing actions from before. Then suddenly Jin’s eyes widened in surprise, he let go of Koki, kneeling down next to him before he grasped his necklace. “Where did you get that from!? Where!?”
124th of November, 1786
Taguchi and Kame hadn’t married or something like that. It was impossible after all. But they had chosen a day to tell each other their love - officially - with their closest friends around them.
Later Koki wondered who it was that betrayed them. He couldn’t tell who it was, he couldn’t think of one of his friends as a traitor.
How did Jin find them?
But it didn’t matter anymore, because when this man was standing there, with his weapons and his men, Koki knew that they were in trouble. Firs the thought they wanted to rob them or get their money, but when this guy, with the maroon-colored hair stepped forward and pointed at the gathering and asked. “Which one of you is Taguchi Junnosuke?” he knew that they were in a different kind of trouble, in a horrible situation.
Koki didn’t think of himself as particularly brave or good, but he had promised Taguchi to watch out for him and he knew that Taguchi was weak and easy to break. He on the other hand was strong. Pretending to be Taguchi would give them some time, maybe. So, when Taguchi wanted to step forward, Koki grabbed his arm and pushed him back. He used the little fuss that was around them and hit the latter hard. “Koki what…” Taguchi looked at him through dizzy eyes, Koki’s punch had come as a surprise and made it impossible for him to react properly.
“Watch out for each other, will you?”
“What?” Kame mumbled.
Koki turned away from them, stepping forward. He knew he had to be fast, before Taguchi would gather his senses again. “It’s me. I’m Taguchi Junnosuke.”
He was lucky that the men were in a hurry and grabbed him and pulled him along immediately. It gave the others no chance to react properly. Far away he could hear Taguchi yelling, but the men didn’t hear him anymore. They didn’t know that they had the wrong guy with them.
20th of November, 1786
"This necklace, where did you get that from?” Jin repeated his question, so many feelings in his voice that Koki wasn’t sure how to react properly now.
“Where do you think I got it from? Maybe I stole it?”
“No way, the person it belongs to is way too strong to let this get stolen.”
Koki blinked in surprise. “Yes…maybe.”
For a moment it was all quiet around them, then Jin drew back from him, until his back met the wall. “Koki?”
Koki wanted to deny it, but eye in eye with Jin he couldn’t. Not after the other had realized the truth. “For years I’ve been looking for you,” he mumbled. “For years I’ve been waiting for you. I’ve tried to forget, but I couldn’t. Back then when you ran away, I wished you had taken me with you.”
Jin didn’t answer, he was just staring at Koki in mere shock and surprise.
“Why Taguchi, Jin?”
“I… I never meant to hurt you,” Jin’s eyes widened in shock. “You should have said something! I would have never held you as my hostage. Anyone, but not you.”
“Why Taguchi, Jin?” Koki repeated his question. He stood up from the floor, shrugging off the remaining pieces of his shirt and walking towards Jin. He took his hands into his, looking at him insistently. “Why? Tell me!”
“He is…” Jin cleared his throat, nervous all of a sudden. “I want to take away all they had, just how they took everything from me.”
Koki frowned slightly. What the hell did Taguchi have to do with what happened years ago? He wasn’t even related to the Kamiyama family who had destroyed Jin’s life…and actually also Koki’s.
His thoughts were wandering off again, and then, suddenly, it came to Koki, all of a sudden, the most important missing piece of his memory.
“That’s my brother,” Kamiyama’s son pointed at a little boy next to him. “He is my precious. His name is Junnosuke…”
Koki closed his eyes, suddenly realizing where Jin’s hate towards Taguchi came from… he was a member of the family that ruined his sister’s life. He was lost in his hate and his revenge, not seeing that Taguchi didn’t have anything to do with it.
The realization of what happened took Koki back in time, suddenly watching himself, how he rushed out of his house and to Jin’s house, where he could see the blood still everywhere.
Jin was not there anymore.
His family dead.
Because Kamiyama’s parents had disapproved of their son’s marriage with Jin’s sister, forcing their son and her into suicide. And then, to kill possible rumours and the threat of their reputation, they had killed Jin’s parents.
Jin escaped. Most likely they didn’t know about the youngest son of the family. It saved him.
"Oh my god, Jin,” Koki wrapped his arms around Jin’s neck. It almost felt like they were kids again, with him watching out for Jin. “Can’t you see it that the reason Taguchi changed his name is not because he wants to hide, but because he wanted to break from his family and from what they did? Can’t you remember how Kamiyama’s son introduced his little brother to us? He said, his precious. Taguchi loved his brother, more than anything else, and once he learned the truth about what happened, he ran away from his family, living on the streets until he met me. He’s been carrying his family’s burden all the time, the guilt, without being responsible for it.”
Jin hadn’t said anything for hours, he was just sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. Slowly Koki started to feel worried. “Jin, talk to me, come on.”
“I’ve wanted to die.”
“What?”
“I wanted to kill Taguchi and with that kill myself too. There is no purpose to live anymore.”
“You can’t kill an innocent person, Jin,” Koki looked at the other insistently. “Maybe life has changed you and you turned into a cold-hearted person, but even if that’s how you are now, you could not kill an innocent person. Someone who is mourning for his brother’s death, just like you are mourning for your sister’s. You are the same, don’t you see it? You can’t kill him!”
“You are right,” Jin agreed silently. “I can’t. Which means that I can only die myself.”
Koki frowned. He jumped up, walking towards Jin. He gathered his strength and slapped the other hard. Much to his satisfaction Jin apparently was surprised by his move, looking at Koki in mere astonishment. Koki grabbed the latter’s collar. “Kill yourself? Don’t dare to! First of all you owe me an apology! Don’t think I’ll let you go that easily. Second, you’ll help me write a letter to Taguchi and Kame, telling them that I’m alright and that I’ll let them handle the business for a while.”
“What are you talking about?”
“That you obviously need someone who is watching over you. You think I’ll let you go maniac here or kill yourself,” Koki glared down at his old friend. “No way.”
“What?” Jin stood up now, looking at Koki in surprise. “You want to accompany me? No way, Koki, I’m a criminal. I won’t let you go with me! I don’t want to pull you into this kind of shit!”
“You won’t,” Koki answered calmly. “Because you won’t do this kind of shit anymore when I’m stopping you from doing it.”
“But…”
“No buts,” Koki shook his head. “You owe me, Jin! After all you broke your vow. I held on to mine.”
“We aren’t kids anymore,” Jin answered silently. “It’s not that easy.”
“I know,” Koki answered. “Still, I can’t let you disappear again. We can try and disappear until people start to forget about you. And then we’ll make up a new identity for you.”
“You think it’s that simple?”
“No, but together we’ll find a way.”
Jin sighed slightly. “What kind of way? Where is it leading us to? What if they hunt us? What if you die because you are with me?”
Koki smiled warily. “I don’t know it.” His hand brushed over Jin’s shoulder and neck. “I don’t know what kind of way it will be. But we’ll figure it out.”
***
Day and month unknown, 1787
People weren’t searching for him. Koki had made sure that Taguchi and Kame spread the word that he was able to escape.
Everyone thought he was traveling for business’ sake at the moment.
Where this road was leading him to, he still couldn’t tell it.
The only thing he knew was that it would lead them somewhere.
A/N: Sorry, gagulan, for taking so much time to finish your request! It took my some time to find a good approach for this. I really hope you'll like the outcome!! ♥
Pairing: Koki/Jin
Rating: PG-13
One-shot
Genre: AU, bit angst, suspense, romance
Warning: Set in 18th century, but with no historical reference/background/etc.
Summary: Once, as young boys, Koki and Jin swore eternal love to each other. But then a horrible tragedy happens and Jin suddenly disappears. 20 years later fate brings them together again. But this time Jin is an assassin and Koki tries to protect his friends, himself and his old love. But can he really save them all?
Note: Requested by gagulan. I hope you'll like this <3
15th of November, 1786
His body was aching when he opened his eyes. He didn’t know when exactly it happened that he lost conscience but it had to be somewhere during the last three days, when they had brought him to this place.
Now he was in this room. It didn’t look like a cell. More like a normal room, just the lock at the window indicated what this here was.
And the door was locked.
At least that’s what Koki expected. Still, he crawled out of the bed and stumbled towards the door, tugging at it.
It was locked. Of course.
12th of April, 1760
Koki had seen the young boy a few times already. He was new in this town, his whole family just moved to this place.
“You should be nice to him.”
Koki looked up at his mother in surprise, blushing slightly. “Who?”
She shook her head a bit and smiled. “The Akanishis are new here. I know that the children here are avoiding their son. It’s the color of his skin. His nose. It’s almost like he is not Japanese. They don’t know that the look of a person is not what makes them Japanese. His parents are good people.”
“Yes,” Koki stuttered, avoiding it to look at her. She was right, the things the kids in their town were talking about Akanishi’s son weren’t exactly nice. It weren’t only words though. He knew that they were following him around sometimes, tugging at him, beating him, kicking him. Being nasty.
Koki didn’t like it. He just wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to stand on this guy’s side. Walk against the crowd…
15th of November, 1786
“So, you are awake?”
Koki winced slightly when he heard a voice right behind him. He didn’t know that someone was in the room, but when he shifted his gaze he could see how this man suddenly stepped out of the shadow next to the door. It was the same guy who had kidnapped him. Or rather: Who had mistaken him for someone else and kidnapped him. Koki didn’t regret it that he spoke up for Taguchi that day and pretended to be him. Taguchi had it rough and finally he had found his happiness - now this guy had wanted to take it away from him. Koki couldn’t let that happen. He wasn’t particularly brave, but he believed in the way his parents had raised him. When this guy would kill him, he could at least die with the knowledge that he saved another life.
Koki looked at the guy properly. He seemed to have beautiful eyes, well-shaped lips when he was talking… Something inside him suddenly kept ringing… like he knew this man. But this was impossible, wasn’t it? Where should he know him from? And it was too dark in the room to really make out his features, he was more like a shadow.
“Finally I found you, Taguchi Junnosuke,” the guy’s eyes went dark with hate. “I’ve been searching for you since years.”
“But why?” Koki was sincerely surprised. Why would someone hate Taguchi? Taguchi was one of the kindest people he knew. Naïve even. He couldn’t even kill a fly.
“You will soon learn,” the guy hissed, increasing Koki’s surprise. “I’ll take revenge on you.”
“But I didn’t do anything!”
The guy chuckled. “Who cares? I just want to ruin your life and your parents’.”
His parents? Taguchi’s parents? Koko frowned slightly. Taguchi didn’t have anything to do with them since years already. They were wealthy people, used to get what they wanted. Corrupt, cold-hearted, mean. Taguchi had left them already years ago, because he didn’t want to live with them. He rather chose a life in poverty, where he had to work hard to make himself a living.
“Jin, are you coming?”
“Yes,” the guy looked at Koki insistently. “I’ll come back.” With that he left, leaving Koki behind.
Jin?
Koki’s ears rang when he heard that name, he snuck closer to the small window, his eyes scanning the young man that had just left him alone. The eyes and the lips had already made his thoughts go crazy, but the moment he heard this name, his world stopped for a moment.
Jin?
20th of April, 1760
“Leave him alone!” Koki spread his arms to stop the guys from hitting the boy and from molesting him.
“Do you really want to be on his side,” one of the boys hissed. Kei. He was older than some of the others, coming from a wealthy family.
“I’m not letting you boss around everyone,” Koki’s eyes darkened when he crossed his arms in front of his body. “If you want him, you need to pass me first.”
They tried. But Koki was a good fighter, coming from an old traditional family his father had started to train him very early. It wasn’t an easy fight though, because they were many and he was alone, but in the end he won.
Koki was panting heavily, feeling exhausted from the fight and he could feel several bruises spreading on his body. He dropped down on the ground, trying to catch his breath.
“Are you alright?”
Koki was surprised that the other boy was still there. He had thought that he would disappear as soon as possible and run away. But now he was kneeling next to him, touching his face.
“You don’t look too good…”
Koki chuckled. The boy was pretty, much to his surprise, because he hadn’t looked at him properly before. And his voice was beautiful. “I’m fine.” He paused. “What’s your name?”
The other boy smiled slightly. “Jin.”
15th of November, 1786
Jin…
Koki got pulled out of his thoughts, eyes widening in shock. It couldn’t be, could it? But… Jin… he hadn’t seen him since years already, since the day that…
Koki swallowed. Was that the reason for everything? But it was so long ago.. and what did it have to do with Taguchi?
He walked away from the door, sitting down on the bed. Jin changed so much. There was nothing remembering him of the boy he was once, his best friend. Just his lips… and the eyes, but they had lost the warm and kind look in them.
Koki touched his neck, rubbing it in concentration, before he let his fingers wander down towards the necklace he was wearing. It was old and the color had disappeared from it, but he had never taken it off.
11th of June, 1766
“What are you doing here?” Koki chuckled slightly when he watched how Jin made a floral wreath. It was pretty. Out of daisies and dandelions.
“Practising,” Jin smirked, laughing at Koki’s surprised expression.
“For what?”
Jin had turned into a cool and good-looking guy. There was nothing about him that still remembered anyone of the shy kid he was once. But Koki could still see it in his eyes sometimes… a certain softness. Now it was there again, because Jin’s eyes gleamed happily. “My sister’s marriage.”
“EH!?” Koki’s eyes widened in surprise. “I didn’t know she was going to get engaged! That’s great Jin. She is such a beautiful and sweet girl. She deserves it. Who is she marrying?”
Jin’s cheeks flushed in a slight red because of happiness and thankfulness about Koki’s words. “Kamiyama-san’s son.”
“Wow,” Koki shook his head in surprise. “That’s a good marriage.”
“I know,” Jin smiled. “It was a coincidence that they met. You remember when she was on her way back home from the neighbour town? She stumbled and hurt her ankle. He was coincidentally coming the same way and carried her home. That’s when they started to, well, go out.”
“I see,” Koki nodded his head, but something inside him was twitching nervously. Kamiyama’s family was a very influential one… and Jin’s sister - though his family was quite well established - was way beneath their standards. Koki couldn’t put a finger on it yet, but something inside him felt uncomfortable about this.
“You look kinda angsty,” Jin joked. “Here.” He put the floral wreath on top of Koki’s head, grinning smugly. “Fits you.”
Koki glared at his friend. “You better take this off right away.”
“Why? Are you afraid to embrace your inner beauty?” Jin joked.
“You are so stupid sometimes,” Koki huffed. “I’m not a girl.”
“Well, who cares?” Jin smiled slightly. He robbed closer towards Koki, reaching out his hand to touch his hair. “I think you are beautiful.”
It happened so fast that Koki didn’t know which one of them was initiating it. He just knew that suddenly he felt warm plush lips against his, pulling him into a heated kiss.
It was two weeks later that Jin gave Koki a necklace as a present. He had made it himself. They were young, overwhelmed by their feelings. Jin had sworn him eternal love and Koki had sworn Jin to protect him, forever.
None of them knew were these feelings between them were leading them to, but they couldn’t back off anymore. They simply wanted to cling to each other… forever. They both believed in their promises.
17th of November, 1786
They were changing locations to make it difficult for anyone to actually find them. It would be impossible for Taguchi and Kame and the others to find Koki like that, he knew that. But he bet that they were not the only ones searching for Jin and his men… they were a secret organisation. Assassins.
Jin most likely didn’t recognize him anymore. Koki had changed a lot. As a kid he was almost cute, the pretty type, now he grew manly and athletic. When he looked at old pictures from himself he sometimes couldn’t even recognize himself anymore. So, it was no surprise that Jin didn’t either.
Besides he didn’t recognize Jin immediately either. Well, after looking at him for a while, after talking to him there was no doubt for Koki anymore that it was him.
One part of him wanted to hurry to Jin’s side and tell him who he was, but the other part of him held back. Jin had kidnapped him. He had wanted to take Taguchi away and accidentally took him - he didn’t know his mistake yet and Koki didn’t want him to know. Taguchi was not a strong fighter and he didn’t want him to be in such a situation. Besides, Jin grew into such a dark and angry guy… he might be able to break Taguchi.
Koki was stronger.
He didn’t know what had happened to Jin, what had turned him from the nice and friendly guy he was into this monster. By now Koki knew that Jin had been responsible for many deaths in the most wealthy and dangerous clans of the country. He was working in the underground now, hunting people.
Hunting Taguchi.
Why?
Koki sighed in frustration. He wished Jin would be a stranger, so that he could hate him, but as long as these memories were hunting him it was really difficult to forget about him.
15th of March, 1767
Koki wondered why Jin didn’t come to their normal meeting point, where they would meet every two days. He waited for almost three hours, then he went home.
He heard it from his mother. She was crying as if it was her family that was affected.
In his life Koki had never felt that angry again. So hurt… though it wasn’t him getting hurt, but the pain he felt for his friend was almost too real.
He didn’t wait any longer or listened to anything his mother said. He just jumped up, hurried outside and rushed towards Jin’s house.
But Jin was not there anymore. No one was.
The silence that was engulfing Koki when he stood in the empty rooms was almost crushing him. It was only a shadow of the tragedy that happened there.
18th of November, 1786
“What are you doing here?”
“Cooking,” Koki answered calmly. “I’m not the type who sits around and does nothing.”
“You do realize though that you are our hostage,” Jin looked at Koki piercingly.
For a moment Koki felt like chuckling, but he thought it would be better not to say anything. This Jin here was unpredictable, but some of his reactions were still so similar to what he would say when they were still young, best friends and lovers. “I know,” he finally answered warily. “But I don’t like to be useless.”
Jin was obviously surprised. Most likely he had gathered some information about Taguchi beforehand and had expected an entirely different character. Koki’s calm and strong attitude was definitely coming as a surprise for him.
Koki had to grin at that. After all this time he was still able to surprise Jin and get this confused, almost adorable expression from him. The next moment Koki bit down on his lips. What was he thinking here? Jin wasn’t his Jin anymore… he was far away from being the guy he once knew.
Besides even if he knew that he wasn’t Taguchi, but Koki, what would that change? He would be mad - who knew what he would do then? Kill Koki? And then…hunt down Taguchi again. Koki couldn’t let that happen.
Jin was his old life. Taguchi and Kame were his new life. That’s what was making this so difficult. He knew that his heart was still clinging to Jin. While he was drawn with fondness and friendship to Taguchi and Kame.
“I made gyoza,” Koki decided to talk to this Jin a bit more. He was watching his face properly. “It’s an old secret recipe.” It really was. Jin used to love this when he was a kid.
His eyes didn’t leave Jin’s face when he was eating it. And then there it was… Koki could have sworn that he saw tears in Jin’s eyes.
24th of April, 1771
Koki wasn’t able to find Jin anywhere. He had searched, desperately. The moment he had disappeared without any notice, Koki had started his search - almost four years ago. He could only imagine how desperate and pained Jin had to feel now… so crushed that he didn’t even want to see Koki anymore.
Most likely he had cut all his ties to everyone he knew, closing himself up from them, so that it would be easier not to come back.
Koki was trying to go back to a normal life, but it was almost impossible to forget Jin. Even after he opened up his own business, he was still looking around for him - whenever he came to a new place, he would search for a sign.
The 24th of April was the day he heard about it for the first time. The strange murders that had happened in the country. All of the killed men where prestigious one, rich ones - but also those who seemed to be corrupt or rumoured to be involved in dirty things. It was a group of assassins behind these murderers.
Koki didn’t know why he thought of Jin here, but something inside him was tugging at him almost painfully.
He remembered when they were still young, still together, how they used to talk about politics and how they despised corruption, these men who bought women as their mistresses just to let them get killed when they didn’t want them anymore… Jin had felt so disgusted by it.
The men that got killed were the same.
19th of November, 1786
Koki wondered why Jin was visiting him in his room (or rather cell) regularly. Maybe he felt drawn to his calm and strong aura, because that was the thing that had drawn Jin to him when they were kids.
Strangely they never talked about what happened a few days ago. They didn’t voice how Jin bumped into the gathering of Koki and his friends and asked for Taguchi. And how Koki had stepped forward, pretending to be Taguchi.
Koki wasn’t sure why none of them voiced it. It was almost like they were living in a bubble, closing out everyone else and pretending - if only for a moment - that their world was alright.
Maybe, Koki thought, Jin hadn’t forgotten his feelings for the Koki he loved years ago… maybe it was still present inside him, unconsciously drawing him towards the new Koki… the guy he thought was Taguchi.
Koki knew this was a confusing thought and that most likely Jin searched Koki’s presence because it remembered him of his teenage love.
But Koki believed in fate. Even after all these years.
“What are you doing here?” Jin wanted to know.
“Meditating,” Koki answered calmly. He was sitting on the floor now, crossleged, arms resting on his legs softly.
“What!?” Jin was obviously taken aback by that answer. “Meditating”
“It’s important to keep your inner strength,” Koki explained. “You can only fight properly if you are strong in the inside.”
He could see it in Jin’s eyes, how something was twitching inside him. He looked sad all of a sudden. Then, much to Koki’s surprise, Jin was suddenly sitting next to him. “Teach me,” he demanded. “How to find my inner strength.”
18th of July, 1772
He had met Jin. He had met Jin. He had met Jin.
Jin.
And though Koki has pretended like he was moving on from this story that happened years ago, moving on from loving Jin, it all crumbled when he saw him.
He knew it was him, immediately. He still looked like his teenage self, just his face had hardened, his features were angry.
Koki couldn’t really blame him though.
One part of him wanted to run to Jin and hug him, but the other part held him back. Years later he wondered if he did wrong at that moment. If he had run to Jin and hugged him and tried to convince him to stop his revenge, his hate… replacing the scars in his soul with his love… if things would have turned out differently.
But at that evening he didn’t think any of these things… He was just frozen in shock to see Jin. And he felt a strange feeling inside him - guilt. Had he tried hard enough to protect Jin back then? His sister? His family? He had already sensed that something was off, but it was only a feeling - he couldn’t share it with anyone.
But today was the first day that Koki suddenly thought about this again. He had shoved it away the moment the tragedy happened, not wanting to deal with these feelings, but now it came back to him. And the guilt washed over him.
How much of this was actually his fault? For letting it happen, by not saying anything?
Jin got totally wasted. And also then Koki only approached him carefully. It was hardly anyone around so Koki dared to reach out his hand, touching the other man’s hair softly, his fingertips tracing the skin of Jin’s face. He bent forward, placing a soft kiss on his lips - careful not to wake him up. Then the latter suddenly sneezed and Koki moved away in panic.
20th of November, 1786
The feelings of guilt were suddenly awakening in him again. That’s why he challenged Jin.
“You think by kidnapping someone you can solve a problem?”
“What?”
“I think you are running away from something else,” Koki mused. “And the reason for taking me along is just a silly excuse for the own guilt you feel. Like it would make you feel better…”
He should have known it better of course, but for a moment it felt almost relieving to feel Jin’s fist hitting him.
It’s not like Koki couldn’t have hit back. He was pretty sure that something was holding Jin back from killing him. He could have done it several times already and Koki knew it wasn’t planned that Jin and his underground guys tugged him along for such a long time. Maybe something inside Jin already realized that it wasn’t Taguchi who was with him, but Koki. Or maybe he didn’t realize it yet, but there was something else holding him back.
So, Koki could have hit back - he was strong enough to take it up with Jin - but what would it help them? Violence would just lead to more violence.
44th of September, 1775
Koki checked the young man in front of him properly. “Taguchi Junnosuke you say?”
“Yes, sir. That’s me. I know I don’t know much, but I can work hard and I won’t ever find any excuses not to work. You can rely on me.”
The guy was lean, looking kinda weak, but Koki liked the way he smiled and his whole attitude. Maybe it was annoying to some people, but that was actually the attitude Koki had been looking for: hard-working. Besides that this guy came out of a poor background, had no money to learn something, he was almost living on the streets. It melted Koki’s heart.
“Fine, you can start tomorrow. Don’t be late.”
Koki had been right. Taguchi could be a pain in the butt occasionally, but overall he was a good guy.
“I can’t possibly drink another cup of this sake,” Taguchi leaned back, brushing through his hair.
Koki blinked. “Already?”
“Well, a man needs to know when to stop.”
“Junno, you just had one cup!”
“Spare me, Koki, I…”
Koki didn’t manage it to hear Taguchi’s excuse, because they were interrupted by a guy approaching them. “Hey, Koki.”
“Kame!” Koki jumped up, hugging Kame. “I didn’t know you were back in town!”
“Well, I thought I could surprise you,” Kame grinned, before he turned around to face Junno. “Oh, a new face. I’m Kamenashi Kazuya.”
Taguchi swallowed nervously. He was sure that he had never seen such a beautiful guy before. “Taguchi Junnosuke,” he stuttered.
That’s how they met each other.
Koki was happy for them when he realized that they were hitting it off. One part of him felt sad though, because it reminded him of his own feelings that never died, no matter how much he tried to get over them.
20th of November, 1786
Jin came back. Koki figured that one part of him was feeling bad for hitting Koki. It made Koki feel relieved that there was still something from the old Jin left.
When he handed him a wet cloth, Koki had to smile. Jin was still the same hot-headed idiot like before. Maybe something inside him was really remembering the feelings he once had for Koki, without even realizing that it was Koki next to him.
He raised his gaze, something in his stomach tugging at him painfully when he met Jin’s eyes. That’s when he realized that he couldn’t go on like that. He couldn’t stay Jin’s hostage and he couldn’t pretend to be Taguchi forever. Eventually Jin would find out. And then?
Before that happened, Koki needed to make sure to save Taguchi. And maybe also Jin.
“Akanishi-san…” Koki looked at the other insistently. “Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Holding me as a hostage.”
Koki could see it immediately how Jin’s eyes darkened all of a sudden, the almost calm glance from before gone. But that’s exactly where Koki wanted him now. He needed to push this buttons to make Jin realize that he wasn’t able to be such a bad guy.
“Like you don’t know…” Jin rasped out, his voice vibrating in anger.
“But I don’t,” Koki sat down on the futon, looking at Jin through helpless eyes. “What did I do?”
Koki flinched a bit when Jin was suddenly kneeling in front of him, his hands grasping his shoulders tightly, shaking him. “It’s your family’s fault that she’s dead! And now it’s my turn to take everything away from them!”
Koki was seriously surprised. Taguchi’s family? But what had they to do with the incident so many years ago!? Besides that Taguchi wasn’t even in touch with his family anymore. Whoever they were. “I’m living separately from my family, because I hate the way they handle others, their corruption, them walking over people to raise the family’s fortune.”
For a moment something in Jin’s eyes flickered, but then his eyes were dark again. “I don’t believe you. Stop lying!”
Koki frowned, not letting him be intimated here. No matter what happened to him, he needed to get Taguchi out of this story. “I’ve left them! I was disinherited. I’ve been living on the streets, until I finally found someone who gave me a job! Why can’t you see the truth!?”
For a moment it was so calm around them that Koki could almost hear the tension in the air. When Jin jumped up and slapped him hard, he had expected it. It didn’t exactly come as a surprise. “I said stop talking! I’ve lost everything because of your family! EVERYTHING.”
Koki gasped for air for a moment when he felt Jin’s body pressing him down. His eyes widened when he suddenly felt hands on his body, touching him.
“I’m gonna destroy your family too, for what they did to mine. It’s their fault that she isn’t here anymore. It’s their fault that they are all gone. It’s their fault that I’m all alone.”
Koki was too taken aback to struggle and get free from Jin, too surprised at these words. One part of him felt hurt by what he heard. I’m all alone.
I was there, Jin. You just forgot about me.
124th of December, 1779
Koki heard stories about this guy, who was named Jin and who was fighting for justice against the corrupt nobility. He didn’t know if it was the same Jin he knew. Even if it was Jin, he was sure that it wasn’t the same guy anymore. It was a different Jin. A person who had lost his love and his soft heart and turned into someone seeking for revenge.
He would have liked to hate Jin for what he was doing, but he couldn’t. Too deep were these feelings inside him, not only those of love, but also those of pain and anger when he found out what happened many years ago. When Jin suddenly disappeared.
“You are so silent today, Koki.”
Koki looked up, chuckling slightly when he saw how Taguchi and Kame were leaning against each other, hopelessly in love. These two idiots.
Koki didn’t know where these two were heading to or how serious it was between them, until he coincidentally heard a talk between them.
"Why are you never talking about your family, Junnosuke?” Kame’s voice sounded soft and alluring. “You can share it with me, you know that.”
“I know,” Taguchi looked away for a moment. “But…what if you’ll hate me then.”
“For what? For your family?” Kame laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous Junno, I would never hate you for something your family did.”
“They are bad,” Taguchi looked at his lover sadly. “Really bad. Do you know how it is to grow up as a child of such parents? People who would do anything to get their way and to get things working for their advantage? They killed. They’ve even destroyed a family. Many years ago. My poor brother. They killed him too, because his wishes were in their way. That’s why I left them, I couldn’t bear it anymore. I loved my brother, he was such a good guy. Back then I was too young to understand, I thought he died in an accident, but later I found out what really happened. I couldn’t stay with these people anymore. So, I left. They disinherited me of course, but it didn’t matter. I rather prefer it to be without money than to live their life.”
“Poor you,” Kame looked at his friend in shock. “That’s a horrible sorry. I wished I was there for you earlier.” He put an arm around the other’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “But I’m now, okay? I won’t let you be sad anymore. And Koki won’t either, right Koki?”
Koki blushed slightly when he heard Kame’s voice, realizing that the other knew he had been listening. “Sorry guys, I didn’t want to listen secretly, nevertheless Kame-kun is right, I won’t let anything happen to you. You know what…” Koki smiled. “From now on I’ll be your family okay? I’ll be a brother for you and I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
20th of November, 1786
The hate in Jin’s eyes made Koki flinch. For a moment he seriously worried if he got himself into a really bad situation here. And if he had pushed it too far.
But this here was Jin. He needed to save him. And Taguchi. He had promised both of them to be there for them and watch out for them, and he needed to hold on to this promise.
“It’s okay Jin,” Koki mumbled. “You can take whatever you want from my body.”
Jin’s gaze flickered again, but unfortunately he didn’t fight enough. Apparently he still thought that Koki was tricking him. He straddled the other’s hips easily, he had grown into a strong man over the past years - it was easy for him to overpower Koki, who was smaller and thinner than he was. And most likely weaker. Koki could feel cold fingers ripping his shirt from his body. It sent a first shiver of cold through his body. Then there were fingers touching him roughly, before they were undoing his pants.
Koki’s breath was going heavily now, he didn’t know what to do anymore or what to say. He had definitely run out of words. He had wished to be close to Jin again for years, he wanted to shower him with love and warmth, all the things he had lost, but not like this. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Pictures were suddenly popping up in his mind, how he had his first time with Jin, far away from the town, after they had been riding out with their horses. They had to hide because of a sudden rain. It was a small cave they found and Jin had soon lightened up a fire. Then it had happened - they slept with each other. It was new and a bit weird and not all that pleasant, but they had never felt that close to someone again. Intimacy. It was only them, the warmth around them and the noise of the rain outside. They had joked about it later, how apparently rain was their good luck charm.
“Jin, it’s okay, I’ll keep my promise…even if it’s not raining.”
Koki blinked in confusion when Jin’s grip on his hips suddenly loosened.
“What did you just say?” the latter asked sharply.
“What?” Koki blinked in confusion. He had been remembering his time with Jin and didn’t realize that he said something. “Did I say something?”
“Yes,” Jin frowned. “Something about rain.”
Koki looked at the other in confusion, but then he gathered his senses and sat up, looking at Jin piercingly. “So what if I talked about rain?”
“What…”
“Why are you stopping, Jin?” Koki looked at the other sharply. “Found the last piece of your humanity again? We both know it… you are not a guy who lives like that and hurts people like that.”
Koki could see how Jin was obviously taken aback by Koki’s words and also by his confusing actions from before. Then suddenly Jin’s eyes widened in surprise, he let go of Koki, kneeling down next to him before he grasped his necklace. “Where did you get that from!? Where!?”
124th of November, 1786
Taguchi and Kame hadn’t married or something like that. It was impossible after all. But they had chosen a day to tell each other their love - officially - with their closest friends around them.
Later Koki wondered who it was that betrayed them. He couldn’t tell who it was, he couldn’t think of one of his friends as a traitor.
How did Jin find them?
But it didn’t matter anymore, because when this man was standing there, with his weapons and his men, Koki knew that they were in trouble. Firs the thought they wanted to rob them or get their money, but when this guy, with the maroon-colored hair stepped forward and pointed at the gathering and asked. “Which one of you is Taguchi Junnosuke?” he knew that they were in a different kind of trouble, in a horrible situation.
Koki didn’t think of himself as particularly brave or good, but he had promised Taguchi to watch out for him and he knew that Taguchi was weak and easy to break. He on the other hand was strong. Pretending to be Taguchi would give them some time, maybe. So, when Taguchi wanted to step forward, Koki grabbed his arm and pushed him back. He used the little fuss that was around them and hit the latter hard. “Koki what…” Taguchi looked at him through dizzy eyes, Koki’s punch had come as a surprise and made it impossible for him to react properly.
“Watch out for each other, will you?”
“What?” Kame mumbled.
Koki turned away from them, stepping forward. He knew he had to be fast, before Taguchi would gather his senses again. “It’s me. I’m Taguchi Junnosuke.”
He was lucky that the men were in a hurry and grabbed him and pulled him along immediately. It gave the others no chance to react properly. Far away he could hear Taguchi yelling, but the men didn’t hear him anymore. They didn’t know that they had the wrong guy with them.
20th of November, 1786
"This necklace, where did you get that from?” Jin repeated his question, so many feelings in his voice that Koki wasn’t sure how to react properly now.
“Where do you think I got it from? Maybe I stole it?”
“No way, the person it belongs to is way too strong to let this get stolen.”
Koki blinked in surprise. “Yes…maybe.”
For a moment it was all quiet around them, then Jin drew back from him, until his back met the wall. “Koki?”
Koki wanted to deny it, but eye in eye with Jin he couldn’t. Not after the other had realized the truth. “For years I’ve been looking for you,” he mumbled. “For years I’ve been waiting for you. I’ve tried to forget, but I couldn’t. Back then when you ran away, I wished you had taken me with you.”
Jin didn’t answer, he was just staring at Koki in mere shock and surprise.
“Why Taguchi, Jin?”
“I… I never meant to hurt you,” Jin’s eyes widened in shock. “You should have said something! I would have never held you as my hostage. Anyone, but not you.”
“Why Taguchi, Jin?” Koki repeated his question. He stood up from the floor, shrugging off the remaining pieces of his shirt and walking towards Jin. He took his hands into his, looking at him insistently. “Why? Tell me!”
“He is…” Jin cleared his throat, nervous all of a sudden. “I want to take away all they had, just how they took everything from me.”
Koki frowned slightly. What the hell did Taguchi have to do with what happened years ago? He wasn’t even related to the Kamiyama family who had destroyed Jin’s life…and actually also Koki’s.
His thoughts were wandering off again, and then, suddenly, it came to Koki, all of a sudden, the most important missing piece of his memory.
“That’s my brother,” Kamiyama’s son pointed at a little boy next to him. “He is my precious. His name is Junnosuke…”
Koki closed his eyes, suddenly realizing where Jin’s hate towards Taguchi came from… he was a member of the family that ruined his sister’s life. He was lost in his hate and his revenge, not seeing that Taguchi didn’t have anything to do with it.
The realization of what happened took Koki back in time, suddenly watching himself, how he rushed out of his house and to Jin’s house, where he could see the blood still everywhere.
Jin was not there anymore.
His family dead.
Because Kamiyama’s parents had disapproved of their son’s marriage with Jin’s sister, forcing their son and her into suicide. And then, to kill possible rumours and the threat of their reputation, they had killed Jin’s parents.
Jin escaped. Most likely they didn’t know about the youngest son of the family. It saved him.
"Oh my god, Jin,” Koki wrapped his arms around Jin’s neck. It almost felt like they were kids again, with him watching out for Jin. “Can’t you see it that the reason Taguchi changed his name is not because he wants to hide, but because he wanted to break from his family and from what they did? Can’t you remember how Kamiyama’s son introduced his little brother to us? He said, his precious. Taguchi loved his brother, more than anything else, and once he learned the truth about what happened, he ran away from his family, living on the streets until he met me. He’s been carrying his family’s burden all the time, the guilt, without being responsible for it.”
Jin hadn’t said anything for hours, he was just sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. Slowly Koki started to feel worried. “Jin, talk to me, come on.”
“I’ve wanted to die.”
“What?”
“I wanted to kill Taguchi and with that kill myself too. There is no purpose to live anymore.”
“You can’t kill an innocent person, Jin,” Koki looked at the other insistently. “Maybe life has changed you and you turned into a cold-hearted person, but even if that’s how you are now, you could not kill an innocent person. Someone who is mourning for his brother’s death, just like you are mourning for your sister’s. You are the same, don’t you see it? You can’t kill him!”
“You are right,” Jin agreed silently. “I can’t. Which means that I can only die myself.”
Koki frowned. He jumped up, walking towards Jin. He gathered his strength and slapped the other hard. Much to his satisfaction Jin apparently was surprised by his move, looking at Koki in mere astonishment. Koki grabbed the latter’s collar. “Kill yourself? Don’t dare to! First of all you owe me an apology! Don’t think I’ll let you go that easily. Second, you’ll help me write a letter to Taguchi and Kame, telling them that I’m alright and that I’ll let them handle the business for a while.”
“What are you talking about?”
“That you obviously need someone who is watching over you. You think I’ll let you go maniac here or kill yourself,” Koki glared down at his old friend. “No way.”
“What?” Jin stood up now, looking at Koki in surprise. “You want to accompany me? No way, Koki, I’m a criminal. I won’t let you go with me! I don’t want to pull you into this kind of shit!”
“You won’t,” Koki answered calmly. “Because you won’t do this kind of shit anymore when I’m stopping you from doing it.”
“But…”
“No buts,” Koki shook his head. “You owe me, Jin! After all you broke your vow. I held on to mine.”
“We aren’t kids anymore,” Jin answered silently. “It’s not that easy.”
“I know,” Koki answered. “Still, I can’t let you disappear again. We can try and disappear until people start to forget about you. And then we’ll make up a new identity for you.”
“You think it’s that simple?”
“No, but together we’ll find a way.”
Jin sighed slightly. “What kind of way? Where is it leading us to? What if they hunt us? What if you die because you are with me?”
Koki smiled warily. “I don’t know it.” His hand brushed over Jin’s shoulder and neck. “I don’t know what kind of way it will be. But we’ll figure it out.”
***
Day and month unknown, 1787
People weren’t searching for him. Koki had made sure that Taguchi and Kame spread the word that he was able to escape.
Everyone thought he was traveling for business’ sake at the moment.
Where this road was leading him to, he still couldn’t tell it.
The only thing he knew was that it would lead them somewhere.
A/N: Sorry, gagulan, for taking so much time to finish your request! It took my some time to find a good approach for this. I really hope you'll like the outcome!! ♥