Fanfiction ;; Embrace the Stars
Title: Embrace the Stars
Pairing: RyoDa
Genre: Angst, Death, Romance, Songfic
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "Aitai… aitai… I’d sing those words over and over to you if I could just catch a glimpse of you once again."
Note: Songfic inspired by Boys Like Girls' Ontop of the World. (: Un-beta-ed.
Look up, the stars are fading and I am still here waiting to see you again.
Leaning on the balcony you and I used to stand, side by side, watching the night’s display of rainbow coloured lights and the shimmering forever flowing sea, I look up at the stars. Twinkling and soothing, as if telling me everything’s alright. As if this was all just a lie. And you’ll surprise me like you always did in the days of the past. Wrapping your warm arms around me and whisper a deep, “I’m home,” as I turn and kiss you, replying with a soft, “Welcome home.”
But the stars lie. Everything’s not alright. But I wait nonetheless, hoping, that any minute now, those warm arms will embrace me once again…
Never again will I feel that warmth…
Be with you, my friend. When the moon is gone forever, I hope you’re up there somewhere. I’ll see you again.
Aitai… aitai… I’d sing those words over and over to you if I could just catch a glimpse of you once again. I’ll send my love, I’ll send my love with white snow, if I could just feel your warmth embrace me once again.
I feel so empty without you. I’ve lost my will to live. Everything’s numb, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I don’t know what to do anymore… Being lost.
Be with you my friend. Cause all the roads they lead to where you are.
Pulling open the drawer of our memories, I silently cry as I remember. All our times together, despite the good and bad, we pulled through. Despite the constant media, our lives had been peaceful… happy. What went wrong? How did this happen? What did we do to deserve this…?
Flipping through photo album after photo album, I trace your features. Your almond eyes, grinning lips, sharp chin, tanned neck… Oh how I wish I could touch the real thing…
Never again, never again… for you have gone into an eternal sleep, and my nerves have gone numb…
And all the streetlights shine like they were stars. That’s where you are.
Looking up at the twinkling, mocking stars, they remind me of you. Looking beyond the stars, I smile a broken smile, knowing that you’re up there somewhere. Watching me suffer. I know you want to embrace me now, as much as I want you to…
Let’s spend tonight on top of the world. And we can do anything. We can be anything. I’ll meet you tonight on top of the world.
On nights like these, when the sky is clear, the moon is bright, and the city lights shining neon colours, I am reminded of how we used to be. Our secret adventures into the sea of people. We are no longer idols there. We have no reputation. Just a happy couple, spending a date together. Happily, joyfully… Why did it all end so soon?
It’s ironic. How our fans, the ones who scream loudly and support us so much, were the ones who broke us apart. It’s ironic. How in the sea of strangers whom regarded us as strangers were the ones who recognised our reputation, but did nothing at all. It’s ironic. How our beautiful and strong relationship, was immediately broken, shattered and unfixable…
It’s ironic.
As real as it seems, you’re only in my dreams.
After you left, I have always hated sleep. It hurts. When I dream of you. You always look so real, so real that I can almost reach and touch you. Hug you and kiss you. Tell you a million and one times that I love you. It hurts, when I try to reach out, but I can never grab you. I try to tell you my deepest feelings, but nothing comes out. It always hurts when I have these dreams. It hurts.
But what hurts the most than these painful nightmares, is waking up, and not seeing you there beside me…
Look out across the water. Faces of lonely daughters. And mothers who care.
I visited your mother today. She’s a kind old lady I’ve met only once. Do you remember? How she immediately accepted our relationship with a happy smile and a knowing twinkle in her eyes. She was the only one who knew. The only one that supported us the whole way through.
With tears in our eyes, we talked about you. Of when you were a baby, of how you grew up, of your cute little habits, and our everyday lives. I told her the truth. Of what happened and how we broke. Of how the fan girl pushed me away from you, the crazy little bitch. Of how I tripped and fell onto the open road. Of how you pushed me away as a truck drove by. Of how I survived with a minor scratch on my arm, but my heart shattered, along with your life. On and on we talked about you, but never did we ever use the past tense. For you live forever in our hearts. In our souls.
But just can’t be there. Swear that I will see you someday.
Your funeral was today, everyone attended. I stayed strong and didn’t shed a tear. Aren’t you proud of me? I have yet to tell anyone of our secret. Oh how I wish to tell them. How would you feel? You were always so against us telling others of our relationship.
Slowly, everyone left the funeral, leaving me as the last one. I stand beside your grave, finally letting out my tears of agony. Eventually, I break down. Why us? Why me?
I have to find a way to show you I care. Even if you’re not there. So I’m following the road to where you are.
My sanity is slowly declining. I can no longer think properly. I’m yelled at constantly, by choreographers, by music coordinators, by hair stylists, by my band mates. I no longer care. Without you here, I can’t act properly. I’m no longer the person I used to be.
I went to see a psychiatrist a few days ago. They said I’m traumatized by something that happened recently. And that I’d get better once I’m over the traumatized stage. I don’t think I’ll get better. I occasionally go into hysteria. Deprived of seeing you. I want to see you again. I want to follow your footsteps, and end up where you are.
The streetlights they will guide me to the stars. My heart is empty without you.
Once again, I find myself on the balcony we spent our time watching the sky on. Every day I look at the shining lights, both below me and on top, I am reminded of our distance. The light below and the light on top reach out for each other, but the distance tears them apart. They look so close, yet so far. Looking far into the skyline, I want to reach out. Farther, farther, link your hand to mine, and fall into your arms.
Sometimes I don’t know what to do. And I need you tonight. I’ll fall asleep and it’s alright.
In the middle of the night, I am woken up by a whisper. I recognize it immediately. It’s you. I follow your voice, the deep husky voice that always calms me down. Somehow I am led once again to our balcony. It was the reason why we bought this apartment, wasn’t it? The balcony that reached out to the sea, sky and earth. I look out and can see your outstretched hand, inviting me to join you. This is no dream, I know it’s not. I reach out and I can feel your warmth. I am pulled into the warmth as I fall. I close my eyes, but I’m not afraid. I know this time, I will be caught into your warmth, and you’ll embrace me with your arms, as I hear you say, “Welcome home.”
Just close my eyes and I’ll be by your side.
-End-
Note:: Gah; sorry for the lame oneshot... ><''
And I've been busy lately, and thus the hiatus from fanfics.
I'll be posting up the next chapter of Save Me sometime this week.
So look forward to it, ne? (:
And sorry again for being so late on the posting...!! D8
Comments are loved~ (:
Pairing: RyoDa
Genre: Angst, Death, Romance, Songfic
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "Aitai… aitai… I’d sing those words over and over to you if I could just catch a glimpse of you once again."
Note: Songfic inspired by Boys Like Girls' Ontop of the World. (: Un-beta-ed.
Look up, the stars are fading and I am still here waiting to see you again.
Leaning on the balcony you and I used to stand, side by side, watching the night’s display of rainbow coloured lights and the shimmering forever flowing sea, I look up at the stars. Twinkling and soothing, as if telling me everything’s alright. As if this was all just a lie. And you’ll surprise me like you always did in the days of the past. Wrapping your warm arms around me and whisper a deep, “I’m home,” as I turn and kiss you, replying with a soft, “Welcome home.”
But the stars lie. Everything’s not alright. But I wait nonetheless, hoping, that any minute now, those warm arms will embrace me once again…
Never again will I feel that warmth…
Be with you, my friend. When the moon is gone forever, I hope you’re up there somewhere. I’ll see you again.
Aitai… aitai… I’d sing those words over and over to you if I could just catch a glimpse of you once again. I’ll send my love, I’ll send my love with white snow, if I could just feel your warmth embrace me once again.
I feel so empty without you. I’ve lost my will to live. Everything’s numb, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I don’t know what to do anymore… Being lost.
Be with you my friend. Cause all the roads they lead to where you are.
Pulling open the drawer of our memories, I silently cry as I remember. All our times together, despite the good and bad, we pulled through. Despite the constant media, our lives had been peaceful… happy. What went wrong? How did this happen? What did we do to deserve this…?
Flipping through photo album after photo album, I trace your features. Your almond eyes, grinning lips, sharp chin, tanned neck… Oh how I wish I could touch the real thing…
Never again, never again… for you have gone into an eternal sleep, and my nerves have gone numb…
And all the streetlights shine like they were stars. That’s where you are.
Looking up at the twinkling, mocking stars, they remind me of you. Looking beyond the stars, I smile a broken smile, knowing that you’re up there somewhere. Watching me suffer. I know you want to embrace me now, as much as I want you to…
Let’s spend tonight on top of the world. And we can do anything. We can be anything. I’ll meet you tonight on top of the world.
On nights like these, when the sky is clear, the moon is bright, and the city lights shining neon colours, I am reminded of how we used to be. Our secret adventures into the sea of people. We are no longer idols there. We have no reputation. Just a happy couple, spending a date together. Happily, joyfully… Why did it all end so soon?
It’s ironic. How our fans, the ones who scream loudly and support us so much, were the ones who broke us apart. It’s ironic. How in the sea of strangers whom regarded us as strangers were the ones who recognised our reputation, but did nothing at all. It’s ironic. How our beautiful and strong relationship, was immediately broken, shattered and unfixable…
It’s ironic.
As real as it seems, you’re only in my dreams.
After you left, I have always hated sleep. It hurts. When I dream of you. You always look so real, so real that I can almost reach and touch you. Hug you and kiss you. Tell you a million and one times that I love you. It hurts, when I try to reach out, but I can never grab you. I try to tell you my deepest feelings, but nothing comes out. It always hurts when I have these dreams. It hurts.
But what hurts the most than these painful nightmares, is waking up, and not seeing you there beside me…
Look out across the water. Faces of lonely daughters. And mothers who care.
I visited your mother today. She’s a kind old lady I’ve met only once. Do you remember? How she immediately accepted our relationship with a happy smile and a knowing twinkle in her eyes. She was the only one who knew. The only one that supported us the whole way through.
With tears in our eyes, we talked about you. Of when you were a baby, of how you grew up, of your cute little habits, and our everyday lives. I told her the truth. Of what happened and how we broke. Of how the fan girl pushed me away from you, the crazy little bitch. Of how I tripped and fell onto the open road. Of how you pushed me away as a truck drove by. Of how I survived with a minor scratch on my arm, but my heart shattered, along with your life. On and on we talked about you, but never did we ever use the past tense. For you live forever in our hearts. In our souls.
But just can’t be there. Swear that I will see you someday.
Your funeral was today, everyone attended. I stayed strong and didn’t shed a tear. Aren’t you proud of me? I have yet to tell anyone of our secret. Oh how I wish to tell them. How would you feel? You were always so against us telling others of our relationship.
Slowly, everyone left the funeral, leaving me as the last one. I stand beside your grave, finally letting out my tears of agony. Eventually, I break down. Why us? Why me?
I have to find a way to show you I care. Even if you’re not there. So I’m following the road to where you are.
My sanity is slowly declining. I can no longer think properly. I’m yelled at constantly, by choreographers, by music coordinators, by hair stylists, by my band mates. I no longer care. Without you here, I can’t act properly. I’m no longer the person I used to be.
I went to see a psychiatrist a few days ago. They said I’m traumatized by something that happened recently. And that I’d get better once I’m over the traumatized stage. I don’t think I’ll get better. I occasionally go into hysteria. Deprived of seeing you. I want to see you again. I want to follow your footsteps, and end up where you are.
The streetlights they will guide me to the stars. My heart is empty without you.
Once again, I find myself on the balcony we spent our time watching the sky on. Every day I look at the shining lights, both below me and on top, I am reminded of our distance. The light below and the light on top reach out for each other, but the distance tears them apart. They look so close, yet so far. Looking far into the skyline, I want to reach out. Farther, farther, link your hand to mine, and fall into your arms.
Sometimes I don’t know what to do. And I need you tonight. I’ll fall asleep and it’s alright.
In the middle of the night, I am woken up by a whisper. I recognize it immediately. It’s you. I follow your voice, the deep husky voice that always calms me down. Somehow I am led once again to our balcony. It was the reason why we bought this apartment, wasn’t it? The balcony that reached out to the sea, sky and earth. I look out and can see your outstretched hand, inviting me to join you. This is no dream, I know it’s not. I reach out and I can feel your warmth. I am pulled into the warmth as I fall. I close my eyes, but I’m not afraid. I know this time, I will be caught into your warmth, and you’ll embrace me with your arms, as I hear you say, “Welcome home.”
Just close my eyes and I’ll be by your side.
-End-
Note:: Gah; sorry for the lame oneshot... ><''
And I've been busy lately, and thus the hiatus from fanfics.
I'll be posting up the next chapter of Save Me sometime this week.
So look forward to it, ne? (:
And sorry again for being so late on the posting...!! D8
Comments are loved~ (: