BATMAN PICSPAM o_g [Part 1]
*grins evilly*
Because I have to share my love for Christian Bale ♥ (and my stupid comments on Batman X3)
+VERY VERY IMAGE-HEAVY (I love playing with the screencaps fonction XD)+
+ABSOLUTELY NON DIAL UP-FRIENDLY+
+SPOILERS (sort of. Pictures can be spoilerish, nad my version of the story is weird. Chronological order.)+
+Disclaimer : Batman is the property of DC Comics & Warner Bros. Pictures. Screencaps were taken by me. Text in italics are lines from the film.+
+ BEWARE : Rachel bashing. I hated her high morality act : 'I'm morally better than you'.Nothing to do with the fact that I slash Wayne/Crane. It really annoyed me because she's not in the same situation as Bruce and she's not trying to understand him. Get off your high horse, bitch.
And here come the Batman ! Or how the Batman came to be.
Pwetty B&W Logos.
And we meet Scruffy!Bruce. In Prison.
When Scruffy!Bruce goes, inmates fall. This is what Scruffy does daily, beating the hell out of chinese criminals. And he wins.
Properly groomed and still a fondness for Asian combat style Qui Gon Jinn is interested in a new and fuckable padawan.
Granted he shaves and bathes. Because O_O Dirty !
FLASHBACK : Bruce Wayne was unfairly cute when he was young ><
*fangirls Alfred* I'm sure that after this incident, he already knew he was going to have a lot of trouble with Bruce.
Submissive and soon to be dead!Dad. Which I have already seen somewhere. And which I like but can't help thinking : " Um. Balls, do you have them ? "
Stop.Being.So.Cute >__<...
Gotham & Wayne Tower. Phallic Symbol all the way XD
The real reason behind the disguise of an overgrown bat.
When I first saw that Gary Oldman was playing Gordon, I was 'Yay, Bruce/Gordon'. Now, not so much x_X...
Poor Alfred does not know what he is getting into u_u
Back to present time.
"What the fuck am I doing in Tibet ? =_="
Qui Gon : Blablablanot your fault. Blablablabecame invisible.
NEKKID TIEM !
Bruce *leering at Qui Gon*
Qui Gon *drooling* Damn.
New flashback in which Bruce could use a little advice in fashion and pleasantness. I mean : "Why do you give a damn, Alfred ? It's not your family." That's not nice. I'd still hit it though *_*
The Hair is weird. Really.
"Haven't given up on me yet ?"
"Never."
Alfred must be a bit masochistic. Because Bruce is such a pain in the ass at this age o_o.
I HAS A GUN IN MAH SL33VE. I R SO SMRT.
Bruce wants to be a badass and goes to the bar of the badass of Gotham.
Badass says : CRY MOAR
Too clean to be a badass, let's put a bit of blood on him ! *weird fantasies kicking in*
Qui Gon has a wandering eyes. And a thing for Asian costumes.
Light stubble ! *_* I love that scene in the place.
*melts*
"You had me declared dead ?"
*dramatic voice* Here we discover the true face of Alfred. XD
Enters teh pretty Dr. Jonathan Crane.
Crane *thinking : Oh, God. Not Bitch whining again.*
*trying to escape the clutches of the Alpha Bitch*
Bitch, please.
*annoyed, because Bitch is resilient, starts plotting her destruction*
DOES CRANE HAFTA SMACK A BITCH ?
*resorts to threaten the Bitch's boss, doing so ever so haughtily*
In the meantime, Bruce explores caves.
And becomes a part of the Bat Tribe of the Cave Under the Wayne Manor.
*walks like he owns the place* (He does technically. He's just dead legally >_>.)
" I'm here to see Mr. Earl. "
" Name ? "
" Hm... Bruce Wayne. "
*secretary looks up and promptly climaxes*
It's understandable. He passed from that to this.
Bruce Wayne demands an explanation for this bullshit.
What's better to use your own company for your weird projects of combatting crime disguise as an overgrown bat ?
" I wanna borrow it." *search for a plausible explanation*
" For spelunking. " *looks nothing but suspicious and unconvincing*
Mr. Fox is not convinced. " Spelunking ? "
" You know, cave-diving. " *still not convincing*
I love his expression in these scenes. Bruce Wayne is an horrible liar XD LYIN UR DOIN IT WRONG
Ah, spelunking !
*use stupid logic* Batman wears black, Batman is EMO. o_O
Arms ! *w* Why, yes I have weird fixations.
PreBatman. A lot less ridiculous without the mask.
Back to Mr.Fox's For Nutters in Bat Disguise Gadgets Shop. Mr.Fox is not fooled by Bruce's pouty face.
And then it's time for the...*cue ominous music*
The BatMobile ♥ Seriously, I love it. We have a reasonble explanation for such a high-tech vehicle. And you have to admit, a tank is more kickass than a car XD
The scene is really lol-worthy. It's like a tribute to men's love for their car XD He looks so content driving the car and I'm pretty that he's having an erection right now. The sigh, the evident pleasure points to it >o<...
He's even stroking it XD Ah men ! I has a theory about men : I'm pretty sure they were acting the same with ships before 8D
" Does it come in black ? " That's it. He has find his one TWU LUV. TEH BATTANK.
Alfred shows us what are his thoughts about Batman. A clue : He thinks of calling the men in white coats.
Bruce Wayne loves fiddling.
*sniggering* Teh so-not-subtle metaphor.
Bruce *explains why the bat*
Alfred *thinking more and more of calling the Arkham Asylum*
First apparition of the Batman. I'm having Spiderman flashbacks D<
Bloke : Is this the moment when I snog you ? >D
Batman : What the fuck... ? *attacks*
" What are you ? "
" Batman."
I sporfled. It was too much. The concept is too comical for me XD A crime-fighting overgrown bat XDDD Even as sexy as Bale's is, I can't X3
*stares*
*sporfles again* The Batman, BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD
"Oh shit ! O_O I'm seeing an overgrown bat on the roof of this car. *looks at his bottle* No more alcool for me."
*parading before the Bitch*
The Original and Downright Spooky Bat Signal.
Gordon : I HAS AN OPINION
Commisioner : STFU
Gordon : D:
WARNING : I abused the caps' button in the next scene. You'll understand why ;)
Exhibit A : Bruce sleeping half-naked in his bed.
Exhibit B : Bruce half naked outside of the bed.
Is it normal that I find him sexier with bruises ? ~__~ *ogling*
" I'm not learning polo, Alfred. "
*is not going to say anything about swallowing* Neck!Porn ♥
I love the push-ups scene ^_^ I'm just wondering how many he did it before succeeding in not falling flat on his face XDDD
And to think, he could not do one push up before the shooting of the film @_@
Wet and Happy!Bruce meet Childhood Friend!Bitch.
And of course Bitch has to show that she knows better than everyone and ruin his mood =_=
And that's it for Part 1. I'll post part 2 this weekend ^_~