~ Harmonians, Harmonians, will they never understand how delusionnal they are ? ~
I’m losing faith in humanity.
Deeply and Strongly.
Thanks to Fangirls (especially the TH ones >>), Suethors and of course, Harmonians. Ah, dear Harmonians, they never cease to amaze me. They’re so delusionals it’s really funny ^^ I will do a big post on them soon. Btw, FYI, Harmonians are rabid H/HR shipper, who absolutely want to prove that their ship IS canon, whereas it’s not. But they still believe, a major part of them, that it will happen in DH. Oh, I’m so waiting for July, 21 ! They’re going to fall hard if they’re thinking their so called ‘True Love’ ship is going to sail >_>… *points to icon while grinning madly*
Soooooo…
Tonight, I was checking HMS STFU, a journalfen community for, I quote : ‘The HMS STFU, for all your "laughing at rabid H/Hr shippers who can't accept canon" needs ‘ and here I came across two posts related to a particular rabid Harmony shipper. A superb specimen of Harmonians, denying all Earth logic which could go against Harmony, changing Friendship into Love and promoting Hermione to the rank of heroine.
Here you go for the first post. It’s one of her post concerning DH on a forum. That’s priceless. I’m sporking the best bits, even if the sporking there is better than mine. And the comments are good too. Mainly what a normal person would think >__>.
Honestly, who cares about Book Seven?
The real fans thad don’t base their liking on the shipping in a fantasy novel ?
The way I see it, canon is becoming increasingly irrelevant. Many fanfiction stories are more interesting - see the fics of lori, atruwriter, lightningonthewave, MissAnthropic, etc.
Riiiiiiiiight. And on what would you be writing if canon was irrelevant ? My god o_o Hermione is canon so you can’t write about her ! Oh, wait… The Hermione you like is not canon >_>…
Canon is just one of one of the better fanfics out there.
NO WORDS. NO WORDS. *points at icon*
HBP was a huge disappointment for Hermione fans,
For Harmony shippers, you mean. I’m not a Hermione Fan, nor I am a fierce shipper in HP, And HBP is my favorite book…
in books three to five, Jo portrayed Hermione as an interesting Slytherin-thinking girl
Slytherin-thinking ? 0_0 Did we read the same books ?
who formed the DA, taught Harry spells for the Tournament, sent Skeeter to Azkajar, led Harry in saving Sirius from the Dementors, tricked Umbridge
She ‘s doing an awful lot of things (with no evidence that it’s her doing whatsoever) this Hermione. Poor Harry is so lost without her. And what the fuck is Askajar ? 0_0
In Book Six, she turned Hermione into an ordinary hormonal teen girl
She IS an ordinary teenage girl. She’s hitting puberty or so. She’s not a fucking GODESS !
with a crush on an uncouth insensitive git who was clearly not good enough for her.
Because Harry is such a nice person, really. Should I remember you of OotP and his egocentric behaviour ? And Hermione is so pure. Should I remember you of the Canaris ? Ron is not a git and he’s good enough for her. Damn, stop^the Weasley bashing !
I'm not reading Book Seven. It will probably be all about Harry,
…
…
…
I know Harmonians are obsessed with Hermione but… they’re really… There’s no word for it ! Fuck ! It’s Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and not Hermione Granger and the Deathly Hallows. Harry Potter is the hero !
and will keep Hermione relegated as a sidekick.
Like she is actually and was for the past six books. So is Ron. There’s no heroine in HP.
This is why I tend to dislike Hermione. She’s so perfect, so pure, the Saint Hermione, the True Heroine in the minds of the Harmonians. They bash Ron to make Hermione look better, more precisely in HBP, while it’s her who is jealous and mean towards Ron >>…The Canaries, people ! Remember the canaris ! But, of cooooourse, it was only because Ron was an insensitive git >_< *pets Ron*
And someone answered intelligently to her here.
Here you go for the second post. It’s her profile on ff.net. Breathe, people and take bleeprin ! Same as the first, I do a bit of sporking myself but check the one at HMS STFU. Moreover, it’s done by Madam Mervin and Mrs. Hyde ^___^
I am an arsehole
I think too.
who also happens to be a rabid anti-RHr shipper. And I do mean rabid - I have flamed, and still do on special occasions, people who ship RHr - and who ship Harry/Ginny when HHr is an option (i.e. she’s not dating someone else).
So, if I understand well what she’s saying, she had flamed people only because they were shipping R/Hr ? Riiiiiight. Someone give me a sword so I can kill her… *growls*… Don’t touch Ron, you bitch ! ><
Hopefully I hurt some people like that badly enough
Really, Harmonians are kind and non-violent people who are only misunderstand and badly treated by the Herons >__>
to either see the light (i.e. turn Harmony) or leave the fanfiction universe altogether.
… See the light ? At the end of the tunnel ? *grins* More Seriously, that’s scary o_o You can’t even ship in canon and fanon with that kind of freak…
One more thing - just because I’m an opinionated arrogant bastard doesn’t mean I’m wrong.
But you are, my dear. You’re totally wrong to think Harmony is the RIGHT think. Come on, True Love at sixteen, seventeen…
I am not a mere HHr shipper -
No, you’re an Harmonian. You insult normal and mere H/Hr shippers.
it’s obvious that’s his canon self isn’t good enough for her.
No one is good enough for GODESS HERMIONE.
My priority is Hermione.
It’s painfully obvious, thank you -_-‘
I’d prefer it to be with Harry (or Remus or Draco)
Remus ? Draco ? Draco-I-m-a-fucking-death-eather-and-an-arrogant-brat-Malfoy ? She can’t date Ron because he is un ‘insensitive git’ but she can date Draco who calls her ‘Mudblood’, try to hex her and almost killed Dumbledore ? *points to icon vividly*
but as long as she’s with someone who deserves her, I’m cool with it.
And you’re the one who will decide who is worthy of her, of course.
That that someone could be Ron is ludicrous. Ron is stupid, lazy, and does not appreciate Hermione’s Muggle background.
And here I thought that the Weasley were called Blood traitors because of their interest for the Muggles. How could I have thought that ? And sure Draco does appreciate his Muggle background, he always talks about it : ‘Mudblood’ ‘Filthy Mudblood’…
He does not put his foot in his mouth by accident - he says what he means.
And her ? And Harry ? Is Ron the only sincere person in the book ? =_=
And when he says something that hurts Hermione, he means to hurt her.
And she NEVAAAAAH try to hurt him, maybe ?
Harry’s toleration of Ron is his biggest problem in canon,
Toleration ? Is that even a word ? And it’s not like Ron is Harry’s best friend or anything…
and one of the reasons that I don’t really feel - if you stick strictly to canon evidence (even excluding that stupid joke of a book called HBP) - that even Harry’s good enough for Hermione.
I hate it when people call HBP a joke. Even if they dislike it that doesn’t mean it’s bad !
The only person in canon that could be good enough for her is, despite the age difference, Remus.
Poor Remus. First, he lost Sirius and now that he has someone, Tonks, they want to ship him with Hermione ! Leave the poor Moony alone è_é.
Many fanfic writers get around the age difference by sending Hermione back in time to
Thus screwing the future because they don’t understand the mere principle of space-time continuum.
the Marauder era. But then they make the mistake of shipping her with Sirius.
Like they did the mistake of Sue-ing her.
Now, Sirius is an ok bloke, but I’ve never been able to understand why Hermione would ever pick Sirius over Remus.
Perhaps because Sirius is described as handsome while Remus is not ? I love Remus and I like picturing him as a bit handsome but canonnically he is not.
Speaking of Remus, I can’t understand why Lily would ever date James over him - the only answer I can think of is that Remus was ashamed of his werewolf self and pushed Lily away.
The Author has an odd fixation on Remus like she has on Hermione…
And yes, I do consider Lily and Hermione to have a lot in common, which is why I never understand this whole Potters-and-redheads shit.
Like I will never understand Harmony and the whole batshit of Saint Hermione.
Unless Potter males are superficial hormonic bastards like 80 percent of all males,
…*HS : Ryuuuu >___> /HS*…
they are far more likely to be attracted to smart witches who stand up for what they believe.
There’s no middleground as always…
Btw, any Azkaban fic where Hermione turns her back on Harry is a joke,
BECOZ IT’S LIEK !!! NO WAAAAAAAYZ !!!1111
and any author who writes such a fic should be inflicted with nine hundred and ninety eight paper cuts and boiled in baby oil.
Harmonians are taking the shipping far too personally, I think. And Harry Potter is not even a romance novel o_O…
A note on Ms E.C.D.Watson - Emma isn’t Hermione, but has done incredibly well to portray her.
Oh Yeah. She has sue-d her like no one could have done officially. I dislike Movie!Hermione much more than Book!Hermione.
I continue a bit on his profile on ff.net. There are many recs and her comment are really priceless.
GINNY USED AMORTENTIA
« But I’m not going to prove it since it’s written between the lines and only us Harmonians see it »
WHO CARES WHAT HAPPENS IN CANON AFTER OOTP?
The true fans ?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A GIT,
TALKS LIKE A GIT,
AND GETS JEALOUS LIKE A GIT,
THEN ITS NAME IS RON WEASLEY.
I’m going to kill her. I swear ! Don’t touch Ron >< *feeling protective*
and the character development better than canon.
Because a fanfiction author knows better than the author who created the character.
To the surprise of no-one sensible, Ginny used a love potion in HBP. Except it was a lot more complicated than that, and the Golden Duo need the help of an orphaned half-demon girl with special dietary requirements (rat, yummy) to break the spell and get on with the task of killing Voldemort
And here you are with the Love Potion Theory not proven and we can have a Sparkly Sue as a bonus -_-‘’’
Harry is injured so badly at (not by) the Dursleys that he should be dead. But he isn't - thanks to an illegal spell that can't even be found in the Restricted Section. Naturally, Hermione cast it. And now everyone seems to be against them. 40 000 words by March 2006.
SUPAH !Sue ! Hermione again >____>…
Hermione and Harry joining Voldemort to rescue Hermione's parents from Dumbledore's clutches. Hermione tends to take the initiative e.g. joining Voldemort, 'breaking the taps',...
*HEADDESK* Dumbledore is dead, remember ?
Note that Books 3 (maybe 2) to 5 in canon can be all be classified as Hermione-rescues-Harry fics. Of course, the rescuing is often mutual, which is why some of us wonder why Jo is so delusional about her HBP ships.
Because she IS the author - as in ‘I know my character and my story better than you - maybe ? And because Ron helped and save Harry too ?
PS/SS : Ron sacrificied himself in the chess game.
CoS : Ron went with Harry when they were going to the chamber.
PoA : He was here too, he was as valiant as Hermione while he had a broken leg.
GoF : None of them did really anything to save him.
OotP : The two of them went to DoM. And others things before.
HBP : One more time, they did not do anything to save him.
even more than Romeo and Julian I mean Juliet.
Don’t even think of Romeo >_____________________________< You’re not worthy of him. Tom can’t be Romeo o_o He’s too evil >__>…
To eliminate the Voldemort problem, Albus decides to make sure Voldemort never arose in the first place. He sends Hermione back in time so that she's classmates with Tom Riddle. The twist: she's a few months old at the time.
This is NOT a nasty!Dumbledore fic. It is, however, extremely manipulative. After reading it, you will still not be sure if he did the right thing or not. After all, all the manipulation achieved was save the world...
Another screwing. Time Travel fics are most of the time screwed up. Space-Time Continuum, Suethors. If one thing important is changed, then the whole futur change. If Tom Riddle don’t become Voldemort, then all the things that had happened because of him won’t happen, including sending Hermione in the past, therefore she can’t be here… See what I mean ?
The story starts off with Harry sentenced to Azkaban for three years for the crime of killing Lucius Malfoy with an Unforgivable. This is justified, even if it was in a fit of rage after Lucius had killed Ron and Ginny (that easily takes care of the two stupid ships in HBP).
While I know Lucius would do it without hesitation, I only see there an hideous plot device to promote Harmony.
I hate Lucius - so will you. Excellent interaction with Snape.
I LOVE LUCIUS AND I LOVE SNAPE >> And they can have an excellent interaction, yes *smirks*
Hermione formed the Ministry of Magic and trained the Founders. Can't get more super than that.
*FACEPALM* This author is a rabid Hermione Lover o_o
"I've been thinking about Harry's punishment next summer," said Hermione, changing the subject.
"Yes, the Dursleys... that blood protection shit ... only requires Petunia's presence to function. I'll kill Vernon, so that's taken care of. As for Petunia ---"
"You'll kill Vernon?" asked Remus, choking on his tea.
"Vernon Dursley has been Number Three on my all-time Hate list for ages," replied Hermione. "Want to hear my full list? Here it is, in order : Voldemort, Draco Malfoy, Vernon, Bella, Lucius, Umbridge, Dolohov, Wormtail, Fudge, Amycus, Skeeter, ... you get the idea. Now, shush and listen: this is why Vernon has to die -"
She went on for the next few minutes, explaining in gory detail about the abuses Harry had suffered as a child. After two minutes, Sirius and Remus were angry. After five, they were seething. After ten, they both stormed out of the house. They would return an hour later complaining of Dursley bits stuck in their teeth.
I think it sporks itself.
And now a bit of her profile on PortKey (aka the H/Hr Sanctuary) :
and for her hinting at Harry/Ginny. I am completely aware that Ginny had Rowling under the Imperius Curse when HBP was written,
Because you know, nowadays, fictionnal characters can come to life and threatened their creator...
and that HHr fans around the world are boycotting the OOTP movie
Fine. Less idiots in the theater.
because of the R/Hr URST scenes it has. We’ll wait for the DVD instead, since it will hopefully have an option for Harmonists that has those disgusting scenes deleted.
And they’re expecting the film directors to be delusionals as they are o_O Oh ! I can’t wait for DH to be released >_>...
What? There’s no boycott of the movie? Well, there ought to be
For a silly idea like the shipping ? No, it ought not.
and the Biblical heroine Judith. Judith requires some explanation, especially since she is the closest in character to this Hermione.
And not to Canon!Hermione.
A long long time ago,
In a galaxy far, far away...
in a land far far far away
Hermione would be a good chewbacca, wouldn’t she ? >>
(unless you’re reading this in Israel/Palestine), the Assyrian army was besieging a Jewish town and had cut off its water supply. Things were dire. Judith, a beautiful and wealthy widow, went to the Assyrian camp and - er - charmed the Assyrian army leader Holofernes in his tent.
If you can’t say it, don’t talk about it.
When he was asleep, she nailed
So SHE was on top >>
his head to the ground with a tent peg (yes, feel free to say EWWW here). She then chopped said
head offand returned to the city where she showed the head to the menfolk (see portrait above by Allori) and told them to get off their arses and attack the headless Assyrian army.
I did not know that get off one’s arses was a biblical expression.
They did so, and won.
The Book of Judith is part of the Catholic Bible, but was removed from the Jewish and Protestant Old Testaments. Given the rampant chauvinism in the Vatican,
I don’t like the Vatican either... But what does it have to do with HP shipping ? O_O *points again at icon*
this is rather surprising. The reason for the removal is that the book is deemed of being too historically inaccurate to be true. Given that the Bible happily still has the story of the Seven Day Creation, this is odd.
Does. Not. Compute.
The reason I thought of Hermione being a fan of Judith is because
(Author) : -I’m on crack
it is mentioned in the fabulous Hermione/Blaise fic Diagon Venus by tamlane.
First. Do not touch Blaise. Second. A fic is not a reference >_<
This fic was written because there’s a shortage of fics with Kickass!Hermione .
Just search through the Pit, you will find too many of it...
I think I’ll shut up now.
I wish you had never open your disgusting little mouth.
No - I forgot one last thing!
T_T
This is a link to my C2 on ffnet : “Anyone But Ron : HHr and Hermionecentric stories (no RHr, no HGSS)”. The blurb for the C2 is “JKR may have created Hermione Jane Granger but clearly hates her.
Suuuure. Because she’s not the character you want her to be she hates her -_-‘’
How could a smart female character fall for an insensitive male idiot like Ron?
One Word. Canaris. Now... who’s the insensitive one ?
These fics ship HJG with someone worth it: Harry, Fred, George, Bill, Fleur, Tonks, Blaise, Draco, Minerva, Remus, Sirius... even Tom.
She can’t pair her with Ron but she can with Tom ? With fucking Tom Marvolo Riddle ? I’m-a-fucking-mudblood-hater-Voldemort ? *points again at icon*
*throws up rather violently*
The stupid, it hurts +_+
I’m finish for this time. You have now seen what Harmonians are, what Harmonians generally think, and how delusionnals.
Just to quote his profile on LJ : Delusional. adj. Anyone, including Jo, who believes that Ron is good enough for Hermione as a long-term love interest.
The Author of the books is delusional ? OMFG è____é…
And to quote Mervin too : And Harmonians say our accusations of batsh*ttery are unfounded.
I think I’m going to do a post on PortKey next time, because it’s really priceless all the theories, the false evidences (Dude, it’s friendship not love… Can’t a girl and a boy be friends without falling in love -_- ?)
And I waaaaaant to do a bunch of Spork~Sue~Harmonians with Kamen Rider Den O! Machou icons >0000<…
*points one last time at his icon and disappears*