The Hobbit : An Extended Journey Part II
IMAGE-HEAVY [LARGE PICTURES]
Spoilers : An Unexpected Journey Extended Edition, Trailers & Sneak Peek from The Desolation of Smaug and The Hobbit. (This time, I’m kind of lazy so the spoilers do not need to be highlighted or are not under a spoiler tag. Enter at your own peril.)
Screencaps taken from An Unexpected Journey Extended Edition, DVD-quality.
May contain : Excessive worshipping of dwarves and a certain Elvenking. Crazy head canon. Innuendos. Also, nudity (aka NSFW, people).
I will also speculate a bit about what may happen in The Desolation of Smaug.
In the theatrical version, the Company of Thorin-I-ve-got-a-fucking-tree-oak-trunk-up-my-ass-Oakenshield arrived to Rivendell via a secret route. In the EE, we got a little extra in that scene, in which Bilbo, magical little hobbit that he is, could feel the power of the elves.
Isn't Bilbo adorable ? ;)
Can you feel it ?
Yes. It feels like… Well, like magic.
That’s exactly what it is. A very powerful magic.
---
And then we are in Rivendell. And in Rivendell, we got a shitload of extra material. Pretty much the bulk of the EE is in Rivendell. The first bit we got, well, pretty much killed me when I watched it with my mother. We were laughing so hard we had to rewatch it to pay attention to what was said.
Short disclaimer : I’ve got some ironic dislike for Kili. I don’t really hate him but why does he get all the attention and not Fili ? >< Which explains why I love that scene.
After being invited by Elrond, the dwarves are reluctantly dining on a vegetarian feast. Kili, instead of eating, is making puppy eyes at an elf maid playing the harp.
I mean, how would you resist those puppy eyes ? How ?
And then he breaks out the smile. And honestly, even I am gone ;)
XD And this is when it becomes funny. Sitting opposite to him is Dwalin, who looks no amused at all. [I’m pretty sure Dwalin is taking the piss out of Kili from the start. His face, the look on his face !]
Kili immediately pretends he is not interested at all. Like, nope, no siree, I’m staring at those dirty elves.
I can’t say I fancy Elf maiden meself, too thin. They’re all high cheekbones and creamy skin. Not enough facial hair for me. Although that one here isn’t bad.
Except, as Dwalin points out :
That’s not an elf maid.
Cue the dwarves laughing and Kili looks like a kicked puppy.
That’s funny.
Now, usually, I’m wary of this sort of scene with the usual ‘Hahaha, you took a guy for a girl, you’re an idiot.’ But I kind of read the scene in a different way. It’s more or less a fact that Kili is a bit of an idiot. [I think it’s a trait common in the Durin, just take a look at Thorin XD] And they’re just teasing him for the way he reacted to Dwalin’s scrutiny. Instead of just coping to his staring, he actually ended up digging himself deeper. The teasing might be also about the fact that he was staring at an elf maid ? We know that Thorin hates the elves but what about his nephews ? Balin and Dwalin ? Are they all as hateful as Thorin ? Or would they look upon Kili watching elves as just the stupidity of youth ? That’s a good question actually. You can also take into account that the gender appearances in elves and dwarves are vastly different. I’d say, in a way, even though the dwarves women have beards, the elves are more ambiguous. I don’t know if I’m getting across what I mean. They might be teasing Kili for looking at elves when he can’t even tell them apart ? I might be over thinking this though.
Head canon : Considering the low number of women among dwarves, this is one culture I could see having no problem with same-sex relationships between males. I mean, considering The Hobbit is more or less a sausage fest and considering the little of material we got on dwarves, it wouldn‘t be that jarring, I think. My head canon also says Fili is not picky and would bone everyone ;)
[And all that for one little humoristic scene…]
---
Next scene is a song ! Sung by Bofur !
The scene starts with Elrond commenting about Gandalf’s choice of companions [Head canon : Gandalf and Elrond are totally doing it. And they are flirting all over the place.]
Thirteen dwarves and a Halfling. Hm. Strange travelling companions, Gandalf. [Elrond is jeeeeealous !]
These are the descendants of the House of Durin. They’re noble, decent folks. And they surprisingly cultured.
Except when they are called Nori and steal stuff.
This being Rivendell, of course, elvish music is being played, which does not really please our Company, (Change the tune, won’t you ! I feel like I’m at a funeral.) which leads to :
Alright, lads. There’s only one thing for it.
Bofur singing ! [Jimmy Nesbitt is amazing ! He is the one who wrote the tune !]
And as with every dwarf song, they start throwing things as they sing. In that case, food. Poor Gandalf, look at his face, he’s like ‘Nope, I have no idea who these guys are. I said they were decent folks ? Nah, you must have misheard !’
There’s an inn, there’s an inn,
There’s a merry old inn,
Beneath an old grey hill […]
Note Thorin in the background is smiling. Smiling ? Thorin ? IT IS A MIRACLE.
HE IS SINGING AND TAPPING TO THE RHYTHM TOO. WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THORIN !
Would you look at all that wasted food... Really, those dwarves don’t know how to behave themselves. [I would totally fit in with them XP]
---
The advantage of making a prequel [if you’re not George Lucas] is that you’re playing with a loaded pipe. You can insert hints of what is to come in great scheme of things rather than limit yourselves to the plot of the main story. And that what you get in this little scene with Bilbo.
It takes place in Elrond’s chamber, between the pedestal with the shards of Narsil and the painting of Isildur fighting Sauron. Brings back memory of The Fellowship of the Ring, doesn't it...
Uh oh. What is that ? A ring ? [Amusing anecdote : The ring wasn’t originally in Alan Lee’s painting, he had to add it for The Hobbit.]
Bilbo looks a tad too fascinated by it. Even before meeting the ring, which foreshadows how much influence the ring will have on Bilbo [sudden brainstorming on spoilers : OMFG. What if it’s partially because of the ring that Bilbo keeps hidden the fact that he has found the Arkenstone. Why else would he not tell Thorin that he has it ? Because seriously, I get why Bilbo gave the Arkenstone to Bard, he wanted to save the dwarves. Good intentions, shit execution, Bilbo. With Thorin consumed by the gold sickness, you couldn‘t have made a worse choice.], influence that we start to see in The Desolation of Smaug, when he lies to Gandalf.
And then we get Bilbo sightseeing in Rivendell. And we get the enjoy the gorgeous scenery.
It’s quite interesting to look at the difference in colours between Rivendell in LotR and in AUJ.
Bilbo, of course, loves it here and probably would stay if he could. He did, after all, planned on living his last days there. [I wouldn't mind living in Rivendell, though it is a bit drafty. ]
Then we have a discussion with Bilbo, which I think is interesting for two reasons. One, it sets up the friendship between Elrond and Bilbo, which we will witness in LotR, but it also allows us to know what Bilbo thinks about this journey and his companions at the time.
Not with companions ?
I shan’t be missed. The truth is that most of them don’t think I should be on this journey.
Indeed ? I heard that Hobbits are very resilient.
Really ?
You are very welcome to stay here, if that is your wish.
---
HERE COMES THE BEST SCENE EVER. PETER JACKSON IS THE GOD OF FANDOM FOR HAVING THAT SCENE IN THE MOVIE
[I joked after seeing the movie in theatre that we didn’t get to see that kind of scene, and that I would love to see it. Holy shit, I wasn’t expecting it to actually be in the movie. I was so fucking surprised I couldn’t stop laughing]
The scene is introduced by Elrond and Lindir discussing the consequences of having very hungry and rowdy dwarves in Rivendell.
I will never not laugh at this beginning. Bret McKenzie, the actor who plays Lindir, got his lines in Elvish, just a couple hours before shooting I think, and he had trouble saying the whole thing. You can see him struggling with it in the bonuses, it’s hilarious. That sounds mean but they were laughing as well. He managed to say it properly only once :P But it was extremely mean to give him that late, writers !
And as they discuss the dwarves, Elrond suddenly looks towards the fountains and…
NAKED DWARVES !
YEP. Your eyes aren’t deceiving you. WE GET NAKED DWARVES. FUCKING NAKED DWARVES. THIS IS AMAZING. PJ IS A GOD. HE GETS US. WE JOKED ABOUT NAKED DWARVES AND WE GOT NAKED DWARVES.
For the sake of clarity, I’ll say who is who :
Not in the fountain : Ori (bending over), Nori (towel over his shoulder)
On their way down : Fili (left), Kili (right, who is giving us a nice shot of his crotch)
Playing some weird naked!horse game (and I might actually be mistaken because it’s not easy to tell)(from top to bottom) : Dori, Dwalin, Gloin (left), Bofur, Bifur, Oin (right)
Preparing to cannonball everyone : Bombur
Relaxing on the right : Balin
Conspicuously absent : Thorin
Missed an occasion to ogle : Bilbo
CANNON BALL !
Nori is hitting Ori with his towel, yep.
I don’t think Elrond is enjoying the show XD [I AM]
---
Next scene is one of my favourite added scene (up there with Thranduil and the naked dwarves). Not only do we get foreshadowing but we get bagginshield-sprinkled foreshadowing.
This takes place just before the White Council and actually ties in with the discussion Elrond and Gandalf have when they arrive there.
Of course, I was going to tell you. I was just waiting for this very chance. And really, I think you can trust to know what I am doing.
(Bilbo is eavesdropping, bad hobbit !)
Do you ? That dragon has slept for sixty years. What will happen if you plan should fail… if you wake that beast ?
What if we succeed ? If the dwarves take back the mountain, our defences in the East will strengthened.
It is a dangerous move, Gandalf.
It is also dangerous to do nothing.
Surprise ! Thorin. Fucker surprised me the first time around.
Bilbo is surprised as well, and awkwardness galore, considering they’re talking about Thorin, he has only one wish, get the fuck out of here. Thorin hasn’t exactly be nice to him up until that point.
The Throne of Erebor is Thorin’s birthright. What do you fear ?
Have you forgotten ? A strain of madness runs deep in that family. His grandfather lost his mind, his father succumbed to the same sickness.
[Also, how the fuck does Hugo Weaving look younger than in LotR ?]
Poor Bilbo is definitely uncomfortable having to hear that with Thorin just behind him. Awkward.
They just had to make it so he would know about the gold-sickness to make it hurt much more when Thorin will get affected and throw Bilbo off the wall. SO THAT BILBO CAN KNOW IT IS NOT ENTIRELY HIS FAULT BUT IT STILL HURTS BECAUSE HE LOVES HIM. THAT’S IT ? AND THAT WAY THRANDUIL CAN PICK UP THE PIECES. IS THAT IT ?
[Can I just I love the way this us shot ? Bilbo in the foreground with Thorin in the background is very appropriate for the scene, I think.]
Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall ?
Oh, Thorin, sometimes I want to hit so much because you’re being a complete douchebag but at the same time, fuck, your life is a tragedy.
Poor Bilbo starts to realise he has no idea what he’s gotten into. [That includes these feelings towards a certain dwarf XD]
But, boy, do I love that scene. Before that, we didn’t get that many scenes with just Bilbo and Thorin together, even though their relationship [friendship, not romantic] is very important to the rest of the story.
The third movie is going to hurt like hell, I’m so not looking forward to it.
---
There’s a short part added to the White Council, which I didn’t feel necessary to cap because there was nothing new that was cap-worthy. Gandalf mentions the dwarf rings, and especially the last one, who is missing, the last one who was Thrain. And it worries him that they don’t know where it is. Saruman, on the other end, couldn’t care less because Sauron has lost the One Ring, and can’t do much without it.
Mentioning that the ring was Thrain’s kind of confirms something I feared after I saw the first trailer, and that is also somewhat confirmed by the presence of a ring in the Dol Guldur Battle Lego Set.
That is, Thrain is still alive, and in Dol Guldur, and Gandalf is going to fight because Thrain is still mad. If this is true and it happens, I swear to God, I’m going to cry :’(
---
Part III coming next !
Spoilers : An Unexpected Journey Extended Edition, Trailers & Sneak Peek from The Desolation of Smaug and The Hobbit. (This time, I’m kind of lazy so the spoilers do not need to be highlighted or are not under a spoiler tag. Enter at your own peril.)
Screencaps taken from An Unexpected Journey Extended Edition, DVD-quality.
May contain : Excessive worshipping of dwarves and a certain Elvenking. Crazy head canon. Innuendos. Also, nudity (aka NSFW, people).
I will also speculate a bit about what may happen in The Desolation of Smaug.
In the theatrical version, the Company of Thorin-I-ve-got-a-fucking-tree-oak-trunk-up-my-ass-Oakenshield arrived to Rivendell via a secret route. In the EE, we got a little extra in that scene, in which Bilbo, magical little hobbit that he is, could feel the power of the elves.
Isn't Bilbo adorable ? ;)
Can you feel it ?
Yes. It feels like… Well, like magic.
That’s exactly what it is. A very powerful magic.
---
And then we are in Rivendell. And in Rivendell, we got a shitload of extra material. Pretty much the bulk of the EE is in Rivendell. The first bit we got, well, pretty much killed me when I watched it with my mother. We were laughing so hard we had to rewatch it to pay attention to what was said.
Short disclaimer : I’ve got some ironic dislike for Kili. I don’t really hate him but why does he get all the attention and not Fili ? >< Which explains why I love that scene.
After being invited by Elrond, the dwarves are reluctantly dining on a vegetarian feast. Kili, instead of eating, is making puppy eyes at an elf maid playing the harp.
I mean, how would you resist those puppy eyes ? How ?
And then he breaks out the smile. And honestly, even I am gone ;)
XD And this is when it becomes funny. Sitting opposite to him is Dwalin, who looks no amused at all. [I’m pretty sure Dwalin is taking the piss out of Kili from the start. His face, the look on his face !]
Kili immediately pretends he is not interested at all. Like, nope, no siree, I’m staring at those dirty elves.
I can’t say I fancy Elf maiden meself, too thin. They’re all high cheekbones and creamy skin. Not enough facial hair for me. Although that one here isn’t bad.
Except, as Dwalin points out :
That’s not an elf maid.
Cue the dwarves laughing and Kili looks like a kicked puppy.
That’s funny.
Now, usually, I’m wary of this sort of scene with the usual ‘Hahaha, you took a guy for a girl, you’re an idiot.’ But I kind of read the scene in a different way. It’s more or less a fact that Kili is a bit of an idiot. [I think it’s a trait common in the Durin, just take a look at Thorin XD] And they’re just teasing him for the way he reacted to Dwalin’s scrutiny. Instead of just coping to his staring, he actually ended up digging himself deeper. The teasing might be also about the fact that he was staring at an elf maid ? We know that Thorin hates the elves but what about his nephews ? Balin and Dwalin ? Are they all as hateful as Thorin ? Or would they look upon Kili watching elves as just the stupidity of youth ? That’s a good question actually. You can also take into account that the gender appearances in elves and dwarves are vastly different. I’d say, in a way, even though the dwarves women have beards, the elves are more ambiguous. I don’t know if I’m getting across what I mean. They might be teasing Kili for looking at elves when he can’t even tell them apart ? I might be over thinking this though.
Head canon : Considering the low number of women among dwarves, this is one culture I could see having no problem with same-sex relationships between males. I mean, considering The Hobbit is more or less a sausage fest and considering the little of material we got on dwarves, it wouldn‘t be that jarring, I think. My head canon also says Fili is not picky and would bone everyone ;)
[And all that for one little humoristic scene…]
---
Next scene is a song ! Sung by Bofur !
The scene starts with Elrond commenting about Gandalf’s choice of companions [Head canon : Gandalf and Elrond are totally doing it. And they are flirting all over the place.]
Thirteen dwarves and a Halfling. Hm. Strange travelling companions, Gandalf. [Elrond is jeeeeealous !]
These are the descendants of the House of Durin. They’re noble, decent folks. And they surprisingly cultured.
Except when they are called Nori and steal stuff.
This being Rivendell, of course, elvish music is being played, which does not really please our Company, (Change the tune, won’t you ! I feel like I’m at a funeral.) which leads to :
Alright, lads. There’s only one thing for it.
Bofur singing ! [Jimmy Nesbitt is amazing ! He is the one who wrote the tune !]
And as with every dwarf song, they start throwing things as they sing. In that case, food. Poor Gandalf, look at his face, he’s like ‘Nope, I have no idea who these guys are. I said they were decent folks ? Nah, you must have misheard !’
There’s an inn, there’s an inn,
There’s a merry old inn,
Beneath an old grey hill […]
Note Thorin in the background is smiling. Smiling ? Thorin ? IT IS A MIRACLE.
HE IS SINGING AND TAPPING TO THE RHYTHM TOO. WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THORIN !
Would you look at all that wasted food... Really, those dwarves don’t know how to behave themselves. [I would totally fit in with them XP]
---
The advantage of making a prequel [if you’re not George Lucas] is that you’re playing with a loaded pipe. You can insert hints of what is to come in great scheme of things rather than limit yourselves to the plot of the main story. And that what you get in this little scene with Bilbo.
It takes place in Elrond’s chamber, between the pedestal with the shards of Narsil and the painting of Isildur fighting Sauron. Brings back memory of The Fellowship of the Ring, doesn't it...
Uh oh. What is that ? A ring ? [Amusing anecdote : The ring wasn’t originally in Alan Lee’s painting, he had to add it for The Hobbit.]
Bilbo looks a tad too fascinated by it. Even before meeting the ring, which foreshadows how much influence the ring will have on Bilbo [sudden brainstorming on spoilers : OMFG. What if it’s partially because of the ring that Bilbo keeps hidden the fact that he has found the Arkenstone. Why else would he not tell Thorin that he has it ? Because seriously, I get why Bilbo gave the Arkenstone to Bard, he wanted to save the dwarves. Good intentions, shit execution, Bilbo. With Thorin consumed by the gold sickness, you couldn‘t have made a worse choice.], influence that we start to see in The Desolation of Smaug, when he lies to Gandalf.
And then we get Bilbo sightseeing in Rivendell. And we get the enjoy the gorgeous scenery.
It’s quite interesting to look at the difference in colours between Rivendell in LotR and in AUJ.
Bilbo, of course, loves it here and probably would stay if he could. He did, after all, planned on living his last days there. [I wouldn't mind living in Rivendell, though it is a bit drafty. ]
Then we have a discussion with Bilbo, which I think is interesting for two reasons. One, it sets up the friendship between Elrond and Bilbo, which we will witness in LotR, but it also allows us to know what Bilbo thinks about this journey and his companions at the time.
Not with companions ?
I shan’t be missed. The truth is that most of them don’t think I should be on this journey.
Indeed ? I heard that Hobbits are very resilient.
Really ?
You are very welcome to stay here, if that is your wish.
---
HERE COMES THE BEST SCENE EVER. PETER JACKSON IS THE GOD OF FANDOM FOR HAVING THAT SCENE IN THE MOVIE
[I joked after seeing the movie in theatre that we didn’t get to see that kind of scene, and that I would love to see it. Holy shit, I wasn’t expecting it to actually be in the movie. I was so fucking surprised I couldn’t stop laughing]
The scene is introduced by Elrond and Lindir discussing the consequences of having very hungry and rowdy dwarves in Rivendell.
I will never not laugh at this beginning. Bret McKenzie, the actor who plays Lindir, got his lines in Elvish, just a couple hours before shooting I think, and he had trouble saying the whole thing. You can see him struggling with it in the bonuses, it’s hilarious. That sounds mean but they were laughing as well. He managed to say it properly only once :P But it was extremely mean to give him that late, writers !
And as they discuss the dwarves, Elrond suddenly looks towards the fountains and…
NAKED DWARVES !
YEP. Your eyes aren’t deceiving you. WE GET NAKED DWARVES. FUCKING NAKED DWARVES. THIS IS AMAZING. PJ IS A GOD. HE GETS US. WE JOKED ABOUT NAKED DWARVES AND WE GOT NAKED DWARVES.
For the sake of clarity, I’ll say who is who :
Not in the fountain : Ori (bending over), Nori (towel over his shoulder)
On their way down : Fili (left), Kili (right, who is giving us a nice shot of his crotch)
Playing some weird naked!horse game (and I might actually be mistaken because it’s not easy to tell)(from top to bottom) : Dori, Dwalin, Gloin (left), Bofur, Bifur, Oin (right)
Preparing to cannonball everyone : Bombur
Relaxing on the right : Balin
Conspicuously absent : Thorin
Missed an occasion to ogle : Bilbo
CANNON BALL !
Nori is hitting Ori with his towel, yep.
I don’t think Elrond is enjoying the show XD [I AM]
---
Next scene is one of my favourite added scene (up there with Thranduil and the naked dwarves). Not only do we get foreshadowing but we get bagginshield-sprinkled foreshadowing.
This takes place just before the White Council and actually ties in with the discussion Elrond and Gandalf have when they arrive there.
Of course, I was going to tell you. I was just waiting for this very chance. And really, I think you can trust to know what I am doing.
(Bilbo is eavesdropping, bad hobbit !)
Do you ? That dragon has slept for sixty years. What will happen if you plan should fail… if you wake that beast ?
What if we succeed ? If the dwarves take back the mountain, our defences in the East will strengthened.
It is a dangerous move, Gandalf.
It is also dangerous to do nothing.
Surprise ! Thorin. Fucker surprised me the first time around.
Bilbo is surprised as well, and awkwardness galore, considering they’re talking about Thorin, he has only one wish, get the fuck out of here. Thorin hasn’t exactly be nice to him up until that point.
The Throne of Erebor is Thorin’s birthright. What do you fear ?
Have you forgotten ? A strain of madness runs deep in that family. His grandfather lost his mind, his father succumbed to the same sickness.
[Also, how the fuck does Hugo Weaving look younger than in LotR ?]
Poor Bilbo is definitely uncomfortable having to hear that with Thorin just behind him. Awkward.
They just had to make it so he would know about the gold-sickness to make it hurt much more when Thorin will get affected and throw Bilbo off the wall. SO THAT BILBO CAN KNOW IT IS NOT ENTIRELY HIS FAULT BUT IT STILL HURTS BECAUSE HE LOVES HIM. THAT’S IT ? AND THAT WAY THRANDUIL CAN PICK UP THE PIECES. IS THAT IT ?
[Can I just I love the way this us shot ? Bilbo in the foreground with Thorin in the background is very appropriate for the scene, I think.]
Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall ?
Oh, Thorin, sometimes I want to hit so much because you’re being a complete douchebag but at the same time, fuck, your life is a tragedy.
Poor Bilbo starts to realise he has no idea what he’s gotten into. [That includes these feelings towards a certain dwarf XD]
But, boy, do I love that scene. Before that, we didn’t get that many scenes with just Bilbo and Thorin together, even though their relationship [friendship, not romantic] is very important to the rest of the story.
The third movie is going to hurt like hell, I’m so not looking forward to it.
---
There’s a short part added to the White Council, which I didn’t feel necessary to cap because there was nothing new that was cap-worthy. Gandalf mentions the dwarf rings, and especially the last one, who is missing, the last one who was Thrain. And it worries him that they don’t know where it is. Saruman, on the other end, couldn’t care less because Sauron has lost the One Ring, and can’t do much without it.
Mentioning that the ring was Thrain’s kind of confirms something I feared after I saw the first trailer, and that is also somewhat confirmed by the presence of a ring in the Dol Guldur Battle Lego Set.
That is, Thrain is still alive, and in Dol Guldur, and Gandalf is going to fight because Thrain is still mad. If this is true and it happens, I swear to God, I’m going to cry :’(
---
Part III coming next !