(no subject)
me a year ago:
This is such crap. Obviously Ursuline was the wrong school for me and my parents and the rest of the world like to remind me of it all the time. Today was parent - teacher conferences. I thought that it would be okay, maybe frau would complain to my mom - obiously since the whole detention talking thing, but no. it was possibly worse. First off frau actually said positive things about me. BUT she added on I wasn’t working up to my potential (I got an A is that class last quarter?), I hang out with the wrong crowd, I am easily distracted, I lack confidence, and have no self esteem. And funny, EVERY OTHER TEACHER SAID THE SAME THING. I have no self esteem, I give up, I don’t have confidence and I sit by the wrong people but have the ability to tune them out (then why does it matter?). well, lets thing about this. Maybe, just maybe, I don’t have any self esteem because people tell me I am stupid. Everyone does. Adults treat me like I am retarded, my parents ask why I cant even get Cs in certain classes & why am I not on honor roll like the rest of my friends, my whole german class points at me when they learn new phrases for how to say “you are stupid”, people say I am not working up to my potential when I really am trying so hard, even my “best friends” dump me when they find cooler people to hang out with, my “best friends” run back to me when they find out I have actually have cool friends that they can bang, everyone is always making fun of me, and telling me I have no self esteem and I am depressing. Well sometimes one may start to believe what she is told over 935779847 freaking times. I admit it, I bring some of it upon myself, but still….
Anyways. This whole Justin/chewy/Ashleigh thing is getting way weird. And I know too much. I don’t know if I like. But at least they’re pretending to really like me so we can “all” hang out! Yesssss I love being used!!!!!!! (notice the sarcasm). I also love how my friends throw parties without me and when I find out they invite me last minute and I have to pretend I don’t care and it is cool.
One thing to look forward to: TOMORROW I LEAVE FOR CLEVELAND. Yay my 1st bus trip (weird, I know). A whole weekend with someone who does like me (as of now) LESLIE BOWERSOXXXXXX. Hahaha watch her hate me after this weekend - I’ll laugh. And on a more posistive note: that grant kid thinks I’m hot and he wants to hang out with me? Yay, someone actually likes me. even if it for my hot body hahahhaahaahaha. just kidding. This is amazing.
i love my emo selfffff.
geez, i think i've toned it down quite a bit since then? hopefully?
This is such crap. Obviously Ursuline was the wrong school for me and my parents and the rest of the world like to remind me of it all the time. Today was parent - teacher conferences. I thought that it would be okay, maybe frau would complain to my mom - obiously since the whole detention talking thing, but no. it was possibly worse. First off frau actually said positive things about me. BUT she added on I wasn’t working up to my potential (I got an A is that class last quarter?), I hang out with the wrong crowd, I am easily distracted, I lack confidence, and have no self esteem. And funny, EVERY OTHER TEACHER SAID THE SAME THING. I have no self esteem, I give up, I don’t have confidence and I sit by the wrong people but have the ability to tune them out (then why does it matter?). well, lets thing about this. Maybe, just maybe, I don’t have any self esteem because people tell me I am stupid. Everyone does. Adults treat me like I am retarded, my parents ask why I cant even get Cs in certain classes & why am I not on honor roll like the rest of my friends, my whole german class points at me when they learn new phrases for how to say “you are stupid”, people say I am not working up to my potential when I really am trying so hard, even my “best friends” dump me when they find cooler people to hang out with, my “best friends” run back to me when they find out I have actually have cool friends that they can bang, everyone is always making fun of me, and telling me I have no self esteem and I am depressing. Well sometimes one may start to believe what she is told over 935779847 freaking times. I admit it, I bring some of it upon myself, but still….
Anyways. This whole Justin/chewy/Ashleigh thing is getting way weird. And I know too much. I don’t know if I like. But at least they’re pretending to really like me so we can “all” hang out! Yesssss I love being used!!!!!!! (notice the sarcasm). I also love how my friends throw parties without me and when I find out they invite me last minute and I have to pretend I don’t care and it is cool.
One thing to look forward to: TOMORROW I LEAVE FOR CLEVELAND. Yay my 1st bus trip (weird, I know). A whole weekend with someone who does like me (as of now) LESLIE BOWERSOXXXXXX. Hahaha watch her hate me after this weekend - I’ll laugh. And on a more posistive note: that grant kid thinks I’m hot and he wants to hang out with me? Yay, someone actually likes me. even if it for my hot body hahahhaahaahaha. just kidding. This is amazing.
i love my emo selfffff.
geez, i think i've toned it down quite a bit since then? hopefully?