oh shit!! this week is moving too fast
so fucking much to do, so many people to see, and time has run out
as of today:
10 months spent with the most fucking incredible man to fall into my life, I knew there was something special about that boy from the moment he sat down to chat. God bless friends, god bless Mac, and god bless my chance to have him. I feel so empowered by Logan, who listens to everything I have to say, feels for me when I hurt, is happy for me and my achievements, and lets me touch as often as this affectionate girl needs.
I'm sorta sorry if this sounds like bragging, but then again i'm not, i'm truely happy and wish for the world to know. I hope everyone gets to experience a love like this once in their life. Don't bother getting depressed if it isn't right now, it will happen. my mom and step dad didn't get together until 9 years ago, and I believe they were soul mates who just took a little longer to find each other. Unfortunately you might also have to weed through the sea of assholes before a good guy washes ashore, hopefully he has not been too jaded by the equal amount of bitchy women out there.
this reminds me of an amazing quote from a new fave show of mine I found called point pleasant:
" there are two types of people who will hate you, the stupid and the envious. the stupid will forget in about 5 years, the envious will hate you forever"
after another summer in Oville, I am thankful this quote finally came along, and i do not feel alone in feeling this way. I still have several past friends in town who secretly loath my existance because I am so happy in my life, and have been for a long time. they disregard all the fucked up shit that has ever happened to me, and instead obssess about the fact that I am enjoying life and for some reason they are not, and this is by no manes fair to them in their eyes.
I was too scared to stand up for myself before, always afraid of upsetting someone or making them feel bad, which always used to make me feel guilty.
to those people who are emotionally dependant on another person in order to make their life happy, whether that be a friend, boy/girlfriend, sibling, parent, all I have to say is I have no time for you anymore.
I'm sick of being overly nice, and that's the harsh truth. I don't owe anyone my services, hospitality, or my precious time. I give it because i choose to. I'm getting sick of the guilt trips:
1) you never call
2) your never online
3) you never come over to see me in my house, town, city, country
I'm one fucking person, get over it and find a hobby.
hahah oh wow I'm sorry if this angry rant offends anyone, it is not directed at anyone, it is just my built up rage, and i thank lj, because i would be afraid to see how it would come out otherwise.
I love my friends to death, and they have known for years that i would do anything for them, i would be wake in a heart beat if they needed me, i would buy them little things to make them happy, or accompany them whereever they needed to go.
but too many people have I let over use my kindness, for too long i have let them, only to feel utterly drained and angry at the end of the day.
I'm still going to be the sweetheart I strive to always be, but the rules are going to change. i'm not going to run to the aid of everyone at the drop of a hat, i will not bat an eye at the sound of a guilt trip coming on, and i will not offer my sympathy to anyone who is just sitting on their ass whining instead of doing something, even if it is little, to better their shitty situation.
I'm sure i'm a hypocrite for many of the things that I mentioned above, but I'm also aware of that and don't care, in the end I do what I need to get what i want done, and if i can't make that happen at first, i cry and panic and repeat myself, and then i try a new route.
I told myself i wouldn't bare my soul on lj ever again as i did in highschool, but I don't care what people do with this information, unless they try to use it against me. that would just make me angry, and there are very few people who have seen me truely angry.
on different topics, my landlord wants to charge me for moving in 5 extra days earlier, she keeps saying its 10 days earlier, shows how she can't fucking count, i fear for my cheques she cashes every month.
I meant for the last couple days to write a long happy post about how I am the new nightshift cashier at the Barn in Dundas, but it has been pushed asiade by lack of time, event, and strong emotions. i think the job is just amazing for me right now in my life. It is 7 nights stright, which may sound harsh, but then it is 7 days off, which means every other week it will be like I have a week long vacation from work!! which means I will still get to have tons of fun with all you mamazing friends. the week that i am working will only be bad because I won't be able to go out that weekend, no biggie though as i can hang out with people during the days. I will still get to have sleep overs with logan , it will just be day time instead of night :-D i think the every other week off is so great because it means if people want to hang out they know I'll be free. Also importantly the job gives me time to do my homework every week whether i'm working or not. the only thing on the week i work too is that i will be getting home at 7am and want to sleep until 3pm so that i can get my 8 hours in and not get sick.
I'm so sad to leave my family as they are all in orangeville or windsor,but i know in both cities my grandparents have many other loving relatives to look after them other than just me.
I'm looking forward to fun this year :-D
love robbs the robbie dobbie robbsky xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxox big hugs for all xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
as of today:
10 months spent with the most fucking incredible man to fall into my life, I knew there was something special about that boy from the moment he sat down to chat. God bless friends, god bless Mac, and god bless my chance to have him. I feel so empowered by Logan, who listens to everything I have to say, feels for me when I hurt, is happy for me and my achievements, and lets me touch as often as this affectionate girl needs.
I'm sorta sorry if this sounds like bragging, but then again i'm not, i'm truely happy and wish for the world to know. I hope everyone gets to experience a love like this once in their life. Don't bother getting depressed if it isn't right now, it will happen. my mom and step dad didn't get together until 9 years ago, and I believe they were soul mates who just took a little longer to find each other. Unfortunately you might also have to weed through the sea of assholes before a good guy washes ashore, hopefully he has not been too jaded by the equal amount of bitchy women out there.
this reminds me of an amazing quote from a new fave show of mine I found called point pleasant:
" there are two types of people who will hate you, the stupid and the envious. the stupid will forget in about 5 years, the envious will hate you forever"
after another summer in Oville, I am thankful this quote finally came along, and i do not feel alone in feeling this way. I still have several past friends in town who secretly loath my existance because I am so happy in my life, and have been for a long time. they disregard all the fucked up shit that has ever happened to me, and instead obssess about the fact that I am enjoying life and for some reason they are not, and this is by no manes fair to them in their eyes.
I was too scared to stand up for myself before, always afraid of upsetting someone or making them feel bad, which always used to make me feel guilty.
to those people who are emotionally dependant on another person in order to make their life happy, whether that be a friend, boy/girlfriend, sibling, parent, all I have to say is I have no time for you anymore.
I'm sick of being overly nice, and that's the harsh truth. I don't owe anyone my services, hospitality, or my precious time. I give it because i choose to. I'm getting sick of the guilt trips:
1) you never call
2) your never online
3) you never come over to see me in my house, town, city, country
I'm one fucking person, get over it and find a hobby.
hahah oh wow I'm sorry if this angry rant offends anyone, it is not directed at anyone, it is just my built up rage, and i thank lj, because i would be afraid to see how it would come out otherwise.
I love my friends to death, and they have known for years that i would do anything for them, i would be wake in a heart beat if they needed me, i would buy them little things to make them happy, or accompany them whereever they needed to go.
but too many people have I let over use my kindness, for too long i have let them, only to feel utterly drained and angry at the end of the day.
I'm still going to be the sweetheart I strive to always be, but the rules are going to change. i'm not going to run to the aid of everyone at the drop of a hat, i will not bat an eye at the sound of a guilt trip coming on, and i will not offer my sympathy to anyone who is just sitting on their ass whining instead of doing something, even if it is little, to better their shitty situation.
I'm sure i'm a hypocrite for many of the things that I mentioned above, but I'm also aware of that and don't care, in the end I do what I need to get what i want done, and if i can't make that happen at first, i cry and panic and repeat myself, and then i try a new route.
I told myself i wouldn't bare my soul on lj ever again as i did in highschool, but I don't care what people do with this information, unless they try to use it against me. that would just make me angry, and there are very few people who have seen me truely angry.
on different topics, my landlord wants to charge me for moving in 5 extra days earlier, she keeps saying its 10 days earlier, shows how she can't fucking count, i fear for my cheques she cashes every month.
I meant for the last couple days to write a long happy post about how I am the new nightshift cashier at the Barn in Dundas, but it has been pushed asiade by lack of time, event, and strong emotions. i think the job is just amazing for me right now in my life. It is 7 nights stright, which may sound harsh, but then it is 7 days off, which means every other week it will be like I have a week long vacation from work!! which means I will still get to have tons of fun with all you mamazing friends. the week that i am working will only be bad because I won't be able to go out that weekend, no biggie though as i can hang out with people during the days. I will still get to have sleep overs with logan , it will just be day time instead of night :-D i think the every other week off is so great because it means if people want to hang out they know I'll be free. Also importantly the job gives me time to do my homework every week whether i'm working or not. the only thing on the week i work too is that i will be getting home at 7am and want to sleep until 3pm so that i can get my 8 hours in and not get sick.
I'm so sad to leave my family as they are all in orangeville or windsor,but i know in both cities my grandparents have many other loving relatives to look after them other than just me.
I'm looking forward to fun this year :-D
love robbs the robbie dobbie robbsky xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxox big hugs for all xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox