Much saner now.
I deleted the last entry because it indicated _just_ how insane I can get. Suffice it to say it was complaining about our minister and elder coming for a visit and telling us that our youth bible study has not been approved by the session(Board of Elders)
I'm not actually delusional enough to think that Dale and I are actually organized and punctual most of the time. Or that I'm not suffering with this whole depression thing. But the way that our minister and elder skirted, hemmed, hawed, and danced while talking to us is sill annoying even when I am calm.
Residually the most annoying thing is the idea that I might not have asked God to make me not depressed. It's offensive on many levels but more so from two of the people in the world that I have talked about God and his power to the most. Does that sentence make sense? Our minister and our elder are 2 people that I have talked to a lot about God and faith and living in this world. The idea that they might think that I haven't prayed about my depression makes me wonder if they were listening or if they think that I am just a big talker. Or maybe I'm just not as important in their lives as I am in mine. (What?! I'm not the centre of your universe either! I'm so disappointed.)
Somehow I think the increased dosage of my drugs is kicking in. Either that or I am entering a manic phase. Which would be new!! Wheee!
It's the middle of the night and I'm babysitting tomorrow. I've got to go shopping for stuff for Jeffrey to take to school before I go to bed. Thank God for 24 hour grocery stores. Night now.
(My clock says that it's 2:30 am despite what LJ thinks.)
I'm not actually delusional enough to think that Dale and I are actually organized and punctual most of the time. Or that I'm not suffering with this whole depression thing. But the way that our minister and elder skirted, hemmed, hawed, and danced while talking to us is sill annoying even when I am calm.
Residually the most annoying thing is the idea that I might not have asked God to make me not depressed. It's offensive on many levels but more so from two of the people in the world that I have talked about God and his power to the most. Does that sentence make sense? Our minister and our elder are 2 people that I have talked to a lot about God and faith and living in this world. The idea that they might think that I haven't prayed about my depression makes me wonder if they were listening or if they think that I am just a big talker. Or maybe I'm just not as important in their lives as I am in mine. (What?! I'm not the centre of your universe either! I'm so disappointed.)
Somehow I think the increased dosage of my drugs is kicking in. Either that or I am entering a manic phase. Which would be new!! Wheee!
It's the middle of the night and I'm babysitting tomorrow. I've got to go shopping for stuff for Jeffrey to take to school before I go to bed. Thank God for 24 hour grocery stores. Night now.
(My clock says that it's 2:30 am despite what LJ thinks.)