/tl;dr, mute
So I told myself at the turn of the new year that I'd write on my LJ, but then January came and went (unbelievably fast, like a speedster on mefenamic [I spelled that right!] acid and coffee) and no journal entry. But today is Chinese New Year, where I truly consider 2011 to start (not out of any particular cultural belief, but I do follow the Chinese zodiacs more closely, henceforth I consider the forecasts of that applicable only after today, and it is an excellent forecast!), I thought hey, I shall write something. I have been writing on a small grey moleskin notebook that Lyn gave me for Christmas, so at least the smaller, scattering thoughts are better documented.
The first is that I have become more long-winded. Or something of the sort. In truth I am just sleepy right now, and lazy, and still fresh from a moment of immense relief from a deadline (one of many) pushed to next week. I had thought that February would give me a busy time of it, but looking at my schedule again with all of the adjustments of the past week, I think I might actually survive it with dashing style. Work will be busy soon enough, since this week is the last part of this year's project. School is... always what it is.
The second is that I am now on book nineteen of the Aubrey-Maturin series, having started six months ago, and I am becoming increasingly sad because I only have two and a half books left of the series to read, including the half-finished last book the author managed to write before he died. But then again, it's a slice of life sort of thing, where one book is only divided from another by the sheer physical necessity of cutting starting and ending the pages of a book somewhere; each book flows into each other like chapters, and it's all thousands of scenes pieced together to make up the life of several men, sometimes tossing quite different but astounding details at the reader in a matter of two paragraphs. I have this tendency, when I know that something is coming to an end, to go and dig up anything else related to it that I can read. So now I am turning to his other books, recipe books, reference books, the movie, possibly actual boat rides, online articles of the Royal navy, maybe even fic later if they exist, to extend the pleasure. Somewhat of an expensive enterprise, but I am rarely this excited about something, so I guess maybe it's all right.
The third is that I seem to have recovered from this general... malaise. Stress. I don't know. That I'd been suffering from in the entirety of 2010. Sure I'm still sadly irascible, but all in all, I feel pretty normal again. As a matter of fact, it really is so much easier to deal with operational stress than any other stress, and leaving aside other forms of stress is like opening a window after a year of sitting about in stagnant air. But I had better get off my ass and stop being so languid, because complaisance is the easiest way to laziness, of which I already have plenty.
Fourth, I think I have also become a more private, intolerant person. Does it come with age? Or a developed lack of care for other people and their bullshit? Or just a temporary defense mechanism for said bullshit, said and done, coupled with never having time for anything doesn't technically classify as work?
-- Actually, I do not know where I am going with this entry anymore, having taken too much time to write it and getting distracted left and right. Very roughly: I am pleased with this upcoming year and wished to express it. After all, year of the rabbit rarely comes.
The first is that I have become more long-winded. Or something of the sort. In truth I am just sleepy right now, and lazy, and still fresh from a moment of immense relief from a deadline (one of many) pushed to next week. I had thought that February would give me a busy time of it, but looking at my schedule again with all of the adjustments of the past week, I think I might actually survive it with dashing style. Work will be busy soon enough, since this week is the last part of this year's project. School is... always what it is.
The second is that I am now on book nineteen of the Aubrey-Maturin series, having started six months ago, and I am becoming increasingly sad because I only have two and a half books left of the series to read, including the half-finished last book the author managed to write before he died. But then again, it's a slice of life sort of thing, where one book is only divided from another by the sheer physical necessity of cutting starting and ending the pages of a book somewhere; each book flows into each other like chapters, and it's all thousands of scenes pieced together to make up the life of several men, sometimes tossing quite different but astounding details at the reader in a matter of two paragraphs. I have this tendency, when I know that something is coming to an end, to go and dig up anything else related to it that I can read. So now I am turning to his other books, recipe books, reference books, the movie, possibly actual boat rides, online articles of the Royal navy, maybe even fic later if they exist, to extend the pleasure. Somewhat of an expensive enterprise, but I am rarely this excited about something, so I guess maybe it's all right.
The third is that I seem to have recovered from this general... malaise. Stress. I don't know. That I'd been suffering from in the entirety of 2010. Sure I'm still sadly irascible, but all in all, I feel pretty normal again. As a matter of fact, it really is so much easier to deal with operational stress than any other stress, and leaving aside other forms of stress is like opening a window after a year of sitting about in stagnant air. But I had better get off my ass and stop being so languid, because complaisance is the easiest way to laziness, of which I already have plenty.
Fourth, I think I have also become a more private, intolerant person. Does it come with age? Or a developed lack of care for other people and their bullshit? Or just a temporary defense mechanism for said bullshit, said and done, coupled with never having time for anything doesn't technically classify as work?
-- Actually, I do not know where I am going with this entry anymore, having taken too much time to write it and getting distracted left and right. Very roughly: I am pleased with this upcoming year and wished to express it. After all, year of the rabbit rarely comes.