OOC: LOG POST
This is the first log between me and Yuki-mun. ^^ Zomg. It. Is. Adorable! <3 Only Yuki and Shuichi were there for this, ok?
Who: Yuki and Shuichi
What: Shuichi and Yuki talk about the baby, Yuki realizes that he really is going to be a daddy.
Where: At their house.
Why: Yuki and Shuichi needed to talk about the baby...and me and Yuki-mun wanted to log. :)
Rating: Umm. PG. PG-13 at the most.
Yuki nearly growled at he computer screen as he leaned back to rub his temples. Damn that hospital for making him miss his deadline. He looked to his watch, noticing Shuichi hadn't made it home yet. He wasn't late, really, but he was usually earlier than usual when Yuki asked to talk with him. He was more doing a mental countdown, as lover had become a bit predictable in situations like this.
Shuichi slammed the door open with a loud bang. "Yuuuuuukkkkkiiiiii!!!!!!!" He called. "I'm home!"
Yuki slipped off his glasses, leaning back with a sigh. "....right on time..." He mumbled to himself. He didn't respond, as he hardly ever did. Shuichi would find him, since there weren't that many places to look.
After receiving no answer, Shuichi shrugged and headed towards his lovers study. He cracked the door open a bit and peeked inside.
Yuki looked sternly to the door, half glaring, though that seemed to be a normal look for him. "Either come in or don't. Don't just stand there."
Shuichi shuffled in. "You wanted to talk about something Yuki?"
He turned to his computer screen, saving his progress. "This pregnancy thing....isn't just a stunt, is it?"
Shuichi frowned at him. "What? Of course not! How could you ask me something like that?"
He gave him one of his sharpest looks. "Because you're not a woman. I have every reason to be skeptical."
Shuichi's face flushed with anger. "Why the hell would I make up something like this?"
He leaned back in his chair, returning with a cool anger of his own. "You fail to realize where this puts me. I'm barely able to put up with you, and now there's talk of a child being thrown into the mix. It's a surprise I don't just throw you out right now."
Shuichi inhaled sharply. "...You...Do you really mean that...Yuki?" He looked at the blond with hurt shining in his violet eyes.
He crossed his arms, looking to the side a bit. "I"m not ready for it, Shuichi."
The singer's eyes widened. "And you think I am? Yuki, I'm 19 years old! I've never even been NEAR a baby!" He shook his head. "At least you've been around your neice."
He looked back to Shuichi, sighing. "So...what happens if we can't handle it? I don't want to doom an innocent child to a life like that..."
Shuichi slumped against the wall. "I don't know...I guess...I have to handle it. I don't have a choice."
He rubbed his temples again. "I never thought I'd end up in this situation with you. I never had to worry about it, so I didn't." He look sharply to him, speaking honest words rather sharply. "I don't want this."
Shuichi flinched and looked away. "I...never thought this would happen either..." He glanced up, "I...I want the baby though..."
Yuki moved to sit next to him, though still didn't really look at him. "I had no plans of asking you not to, if that's what you're thinking."
Shuichi looked away from him. "No...That's not what I'm thinking."
He closed his eyes. "I will be stressed, cranky, and more hostile you realize....."
Shuichi looked at him confused. "What are you talking about?"
He looked to him. "It's a baby. It can't do anything for itself. It's completely dependant on it's parents. I don't want to be depended on that desperately. Especially not by a helpless brat."
Shuichi sighed. "I'm...sorry...I know that the baby's going to be completely dependent on me for everything..." He looked at Yuki sadly.
He looked away, though his hand fell lightly on Shuichi's head. "Nothing says my mind won't change."
Shuichi looked at him, slightly confused. "...Huh?"
He leaned close to Shuichi, though his expression was no less serious. "You managed to change my mind about you, didn't you?"
Shuichi's look turned hopeful. "Does that mean...that...you're not kicking me out?"
He leaned back. "I never planned to."
The singer turned to face him fully, "But before you said you should kick me out! And that you didn't want the baby."
"I said it's a surprise I don't kick you out, but that was said in frustration. I never said I didn't want the baby, I was referring to the dillema you've put me in."
"I...But..." Shuichi dropped his head onto his knees. "I'm so confused." His shoulders started to shake with silent sobs.
Yuki sighed, pulling him against him. "It wasn't my intention to confuse you."
Shuichi turned, burrying his face in Yuki's side. "I don't know what to do Yuki..." The sobs wracked his frame. "I'm scared," he whispered.
He gently began stroking his back, more out of instinct than anything. "You have every right to be. You shouldn't act so happy and excited when you're not completely feeling it. If your scared, admit your scared. Stress isn't good for you....or the baby..." He swallowed hard before adding the last part. It was still difficult to get a grip on.
Shuichi snuggled deeper into Yuki's side. "I am that happy though...I'm excited too. Wh-when I admited my feelings for you...I never thought I'd get the chance to have a baby of my own. But...I don't know what to do. And I don't want to lose you either!" He turned his tear-smudged face up at Yuki.
He looked down to him. "I'm not going anywhere. As much as I hate to admit it, I need you more than you need me."
"Really?" Shuichi wiped his eyes, "You're staying? Even...even with the baby?" He stared at him, and his eyes suddenly widened as Yuki's last statement sank in. "You need me?"
He looked off, almost regretting his words. Almost. "I'm staying. I can't leave you alone with an innocent life. You might kill it." His words were defensive, but in no way sincere. At least the killing the baby part.
Shuichi looked at him like he'd been slapped. "I might...You really think I'd..." He dissolved back into tears, having not picked up on the insincerity of the words.
He lightly slapped his head, looking annoyed. "Of course I don't think you will. Leave it to you to take words like that so seriously."
Shuichi sniffled. "You don't think I'm going to be a bad mommy?"
He sighed. "Actually, I'm pretty confident you'll be good at it. When you get determined, you get it done. "
Shuichi's eye's turned hopeful again. "You really think so? I think you'll make a good dad Yuki."
He smirked, though there was doubt in his eyes. "I doubt it. I can't stand kids."
Shuichi smiled softly. "But those kids weren't yours."
He laughed. Shuichi was determined to convince him, wasn't he? "You have a point....still..."
Shuichi's jaw dropped. "Y-you laughed."
He still had a smile on his lips when he looked to Shuichi. "I blame you."
gave a blinding smile and leapt to his feet. He started to dance around. "I made Yuki laaaugh. I made Yuki laaaagh! Haha. I make Yuki happy!"
Yuki went back to his desk, pretending to get back to work as he shut it off. "That's more like you."
Shuichi threw his arms around Yuki's neck and planted a big kiss on his cheek. "Do you want to see the ultrasound pictures sweetie? I left them on the kitchen table."
Yuki appeared irritated, but it was a force of habit by now. "...Bring them here and I'll look at them..."
Shuichi squealed and tore from the room. He skidded into the kitchen, grabbed the envelope, and ran back to Yuki. He held it out to him proudly. "Here! Here's our baby."
Yuki pulled the pictures out. He blinked at them, twisting them in every direction. "...where is it...?"
Shuichi rolled his eyes and pointed at a very small mass in the center of the image. "Right there. It's tiny right now...but that's our baby." He draped himself across Yuki's shoulders. "See it now?"
Yuki pulled it close to his eyes. "Oh. Now I see it." He raised a brow at it. "...that's it?....wow...."
Yuki pulled it close to his eyes. "Oh. Now I see it." He raised a brow at it. "...that's it?....wow...."
Shuichi rested his head on Yuki's shoulder. "That's it." He pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "What do you think?"
Yuki turned the picture over, trying to pinpoint what was what. "....I don't know what to think..."
Shuichi cocked his head to the side. "What'cha looking for Yuki?"
He looked hard at the picture. "It doesn't look like a baby."
Shuichi laughed. "Of course it doesn't silly. Not yet. Baby's don't look like baby's until later. Right now it just looks like a little blob." He took the picture from Yuki and slipped it back into the envelope.
Yuki blinked as the picture was taken away, looking over to him. "What does your doctor think of all this...?"
"She's was pretty shocked at first. Now that we know it's actually for real, she's starting to get kind of Mom-fangirly." He scratched his head. "She's actually having other doctors come in and help. The guy's are pretty freaked."
He leaned back, rubbing his temples. "I know how they feel..."
Shuichi blinked at him. "You're freaked out? How come?"
He looked to him with a rather sharp gaze. "...You're a guy, Shuichi. Kids were never supposed to be a possibility."
Shuichi winced. "I know...Is it really that bad though? I mean, is it really that bad for this to be happening?"
He stared at him another minute before he stood, heading from the room. "Yes. It is."
Shuichi stared after him in shock. "Yuki..."
The pink haired boy clenched his fist and ran out of the room after him. "Wait a minute dammit!"
Yuki sighed in frustration before nearly glaring down at him. "What?"
Shuichi grabbed the front of Yuki's shirt and glared up at him, fighting back tears. "Goddammit Yuki! How can you go from being ok, to this so damn fast? Make up your mind!" The tears fell, "You were fine before when we were looking at the picture..."
He looked at him, seeming unphased before turning down the hall. "The pictures made it too real."
Shuichi's hands dropped to his sides. "So...what does that mean then?"
Yuki sighed, stopping. "I honestly don't want to believe this is happening because I don't want to be a father."
Shuichi lowered his head. "You don't want the baby...does that mean...you don't want me anymore either?"
Shuichi lowered his head. "You don't want the baby...does that mean...you don't want me anymore either?"
He turned to face him, approaching until he had Shuichi pressed against the wall. "Don't you ever doubt me. If I didn't want you, you wouldn't still be here. I said I didn't want to be a father, I never said that the baby is unwanted. Just because I'm not ready for this now doesn't mean I will never be. I may not like the idea of you having a kid, but I like you doubting my intentions even less."
Shuichi looked up at him with wide violet eyes. "Yuki...I..." He leaned forward and burried his face in Yuki's chest. "Sorry." He wrapped his arms around him tight. "I'm sorry. I-I know you care. I don't know why I got so upset. I mean, I'm used to you doing that."
Yuki's arms came around him in return. "I've seen you react in worse ways."
Shuichi sighed. "I know. But I should know not to doubt you by now. If you didn't like me, you wouldn't keep me." He snuggled into the embrace. "Mmmm. I love you Yuki."
Yuki sighed before lifting him over his shoulder. "As for you, you need to rest. You've pushed yourself alot." He may not be used to the idea, but he still worried for Shuichi's health.
Shuichi squeaked a little at the new angle. "Wha? Yuki! Why are you carrying me?" He wiggled hi butt a little.
He set him on the bed. "You're going to rest awhile."
Shuichi plopped back on the bed. "But I'm not tired." He stretched back and pouted.
Yuki moved to close the curtain. "When was the last time you slept?"
Shuichi rolled onto his side to look at his lover. "Last night to this morning."
He crossed his arms. "That's too vague to convince me."
Shuichi rolled his eyes. "I went to bed at 11 last night and I got up at 9 this morning."
He placed a knee on the bed. "Would you sleep a little if I did, too?"
Shuichi wrinkled his nose cutely. "Maybe. Maybe not."
Yuki moved to lay next to him. "Regardless, I'm sleeping. I'm running on three hours right now."
Shuichi rolled over and snuggled into his side. "Mmm. Go to sleep then sweetie. I'll stay right here with you."
Yuki's arm came around him almost with instinct by now. "Right...make sure I don't sleep too long..."
A smile flitted across Shuichi's face. "Ok Yuki. I'll wake you up in...5 hours ok?"
Yuki's eyes were already closed, half asleep. "Mmm..." It was the closest he could manage for 'yes' at this point.
Shuichi rested his head over Yuki's heart and sighed. "Love you." His eyes drooped closed.