KHR Fic: Twinge
Fic: Twinge
Title: Twinge
Author: Myself
Rating: T for some language and vulgar word usage.
Length: A little over 2,000 words.
Genre: Angst and fluff with a splash of romance. Though nothing further than a hug; I'm working my way up.
Summary: Smiles can bring out the best in people, but for some it can bring out their worst. Smiles can be just as harmful as they can be helpful. Most of the story is in the 3rd person point of view, from Yamamoto's perspective, while a small bit is how Gokudera sees it. My first yamagoku fic and first KHR fic to be published online. Critique, questions and comments welcomed with open arms! Attempt at summarizing: failed!
.....XXX.....
Twinge
“I already told you to shut up and go away, Baseball-brain.”
“But Gokudera…”
“Fuck off!”
“I just want to know why.”
“Well tough titties.”
“Why am I not allowed to know the reason?”
“J-just because, dammit!”
“I swear you won’t hurt my feelings if you tell me, no matter what it is.”
“Che- I wouldn’t give a shit even if your feelings would get hurt from it!”
“Then why can’t you say? Come on, Gokude-“
As if to signal to the “thick-skinned” baseball player to stop the pestering before the tides of rage came flowing in, the school bell rang. Lunch was now over and it was time to head over to the following class. The conversation was unable to be continued as of now anyway, due to their classes being located in opposite directions.
“Well, see ya later Gokudera!” he waved whilst smiling at the scowling boy before running off to get to History on time.
“Shut up!”
Oh well; it would have to wait for the moment. They could always pick up where they left off in the period after next. It wouldn’t be disruptive and they wouldn’t get in trouble as long as the oblivious teacher didn’t catch it. He slept through math anyway and Gokudera just finished his work early. A perfect time to ask him again. Unfortunately, that plan ended in failure when the teacher pulled a pop quiz on everyone.
Of course it was no problem for Gokudera, who finished it in 5 minutes even after triple-checking the work, which had not only the class, but also the teacher all-but-gaping at the mouth. Yamamoto was happy and all that it came so easy to at least someone in the class, but it was almost the opposite for him when it came to tests and such. He stopped trying to work the questions out long ago, and found it much easier to just do guesswork and fill in the blanks with random numbers. He failed even when trying so hard to figure it out, anyway, so why bother? It saved time and allowed him to get more napping in so as not to be drowsy during baseball practice. Also, the refreshed feeling that came from a nap was much more preferable in comparison to a splitting headache from trying to so much as figure out why there was both an x AND a y in only one equation. Sometimes there would even be questions about some sot of axis and coordinates. Math might as well have been put in the same category as foreign languages; to him everything just sounded like gibberish when spoken and even worse when written on paper.
However, regarding Gokudera, he remained resolute and refused to give up. He would find out what he wanted to know, even if he had to follow the guy home. In fact, he decided to go do just that as soon as school let out for the day. He put on the usual act, laughing, joking and smiling whilst piecing together a strategy of sorts in his head.
“So are you two coming over today? You’re welcome to stay for dinner too. I’m sure Mom wouldn’t mind at all; she's probably already making enough with the both of you in mind.”
The silver-haired male instantly beamed in Tsuna’s direction, causing the latter to be thrown a little off guard. “Really? Do you mean that? It would be an honor to join the Jyuudaime and his mother for dinner! I am not worthy at all of such kindness!!!” he finished with a passionate, glittering admiration across his features. It was truly a pity that in the next moment the expression would be lost and change to one of pure irritation; and even more so since he knew all too well that he would be the cause of it.
“That sounds tempting, but remember Gokudera?”
“What the hell are you spouting now?”
“Remember? The thing? That we agreed to talk about after school today?” I lied, meeting his confused gaze.
“What? I don’t remember shit about agreeing with you ever, and especially not about talking to you! If it was up to me, I wouldn’t be anywhere near you.” He spat, avoiding any more eye contact with Yamamoto.
“Maa, maa, calm down, okay?”
“Please, Gokudera-kun? The neighbors are starting to glare.” The brunette interjected in a half-whisper, leering at the people who were delivering unpleasant gazes. His self-proclaimed right-hand glared right back at the bastards, causing each and every one of them to either continue walking down the street or go back into their houses. As much as he wanted to give them each the middle finger (as well as a few sticks of dynamite in their mailboxes), he knew it would upset his boss and thus refrained. “A-anyway, if you two need to go for today, that’s alright. I understand. I’ll tell Mom not to make more curry and that you said hello, okay?” He smiled, saying goodbye to them both before entering past the gate and through the front door into his home. Gokudera waved to him enthusiastically right up until the front door was shut and turned back to the baseball idiot. His personality turned 180 degrees as his lips fell from the smile and curled back up into a grimace.
“Alright you idiot, now just what are you playing at?”
“Huh?”
“Don’t ‘huh’ me! You actually had the balls to lie through your teeth to Jyuudaime and even get me to lie with you. You’re even more of a bastard than I thought. And he believed you too!”
“That was only because you refused to answer my question earlier.”
“What the hell makes you think I’ll answer now?”
“Please? Just tell me. I need to know.”
“Forget it, dumbass!” he exclaimed, turning to walk away.
“If you tell me I promise I’ll stop bothering you about it.”
This caused an uncharacteristic silence from the loudmouth. He stopped in his tracks and stared at the ground thoughtfully for a few seconds before pulling out one of his smokes to light. Taking a long drag from the white stick, he closed his eyes calmly and exhaled, blowing it away from the athlete’s face. He repeated this cycle twice before flicking the cigarette and lazily running a hand through his hair. Once looking back over to him, all calmness dissipated into the air, much like the occasional wisps of smoke that emitted from the end of his cigarette. The speed at which his hand ran through his hair quickened; getting the tangles out later would be hell. “Dammit, fine!”
“Really?” Yamamoto’s signature smile turned into a toothy grin aimed at the smoker, who took one look at him and growled in frustration.
“It’s… it’s because your face pisses me off whenever I look at it.”
He was surprised by the answer, but not fully convinced the guy was telling him the truth. People avoided eye contact only when they lied, right?
“Why don’t you tell me the real reason why you hate me?”
“Idiot… I don’t hate you. It’s just; your face really fucking pisses me off, okay?”
Alright, maybe he was being just halfway truthful? There had to be more to that statement than what he was saying out loud.
“Whenever people look at you, there’s always that damn smile on your face. Don’t you ever get pissed off or sad or some emotion other than happiness? Or has your life really been that fucking perfect? Are you that much of a dumbass baseball idiot? We get it! Even though every single fucker on earth has gone through shit in their lives, I get that you haven't. So stop reminding me of it already, you bastard!”
Brown eyes widened, the owner of them taken completely aback. Not only was this reaction from the words that had been spoken, but also from what he was currently looking at.
Gokudera, the bad-ass, chain smoking, dynamite carrying, self-proclaimed right hand and storm guardian of Sawada Tsunayoshi, tenth generation boss of the Vongola famiglia…
…was crying. He was looking Yamamoto straight in the eyes and crying. A flustered red painted his cheeks as a seemingly endless stream of tears cascaded down his face and dripped from under his chin.
I think I understand why.
I was raised to smile no matter the severity of the situation; not only to cope, but also to be strong, to avoid giving in and to hide one’s inner or outer turmoil. Do it for those who found themselves unable to do so. And that, at times, smiles could be contagious; when one person is smiling, the others who see it are given the strength to do so themselves. I thought everyone was that way. I had no idea that wasn’t how he saw it; instead, I unintentionally caused someone to hurt with my smile. This person has gone through more hardships than anyone else I know, to the point that he probably considers it cowardly to hide behind a smile and not let the real emotions that stir up inside to come out. To someone like him, I think that his only option is to let out every emotion he feels at all times.
All of his emotions…
All the pain…
All the anger and sorrow…
He wears them all on his sleeve, for the entire world to see.
So when he looks at someone like me, who might as well be the opposite of himself, he gets angry. To him, I’m the weakling; the person who is always calm and relaxed, but hides behind a mask and never takes it off to show his true emotions. That must be it. What he thinks of me and how he compares himself to me all the time. If that much is true, then I’ve hurt him even more badly than I can imagine, more times than I can keep track of. I’m surprised he doesn’t hate me.
Sea green eyes, still locked with brown, stared impatiently at the latter. “Ah- I’m not crying.” He said with building embarrassment, the tears refusing to stop their flow. “I-I-I’m not! And if you tell Jyuuda-“ he was cut off by something he would never have anticipated even in three thousand millennia. He was too frozen in shock to even react when he suddenly found himself being pulled into the undeniable warmth of a torso, while tanned arms wrapped themselves around his own body. One hand rested on the small of his back, the other on the back of his head. Gradually the stiffened body relaxed as his mind slowed and he began to grow tired. What was going on, again? He no longer knew the answer, and furthermore no longer had the desire to know. The only thing he could think about had been how incredibly overwhelming the warmth was; how it surrounded him. It was… so comfortable like this; it was so calming to the point at which he had forgotten even the fact that he had been crying.
He was somewhat reminded when the owner of the warmth pulled away and revealed his face to be that of Yamamoto. Instead of instantly feeling the explosive rage that he usually felt upon the sight of that stupid, fake smile, he remained relaxed, a little surprised that his face had a different expression. Knitted eyebrows hung over those infuriating brown eyes which seemed hold a look of understanding and guilt. There was no annoying smile; rather, a contrastingly sorrowful frown adorned his features. Not one iota of this expression was fake; every single twitch of it was completely genuine. This was truly the exact emotion that Yamamoto Takeshi was currently feeling. With merely one look at his face, Gokudera thought just that.
He was too lost in the other’s never-ending orbs of molten caramel to notice when a hand had reached up to wipe the tears from his face, gently caressing his cheek afterwards. Still oblivious to what was occurring, he unconsciously leaned into the hand, closing his eyes in response to feeling the warmth once again. The tears had dried, the anger gone, the frustration evaporated altogether.
The only thing now left: tranquil solace.
“I’m sorry,”
And, perhaps, between them both…
“Hayato.”
…a twinge of what they would realize later as love.
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Thoughts? Too OOC? Spelling errors? I hope not. -.-|||