Gruh (rant)
Here's the thing. I don't mind being fat, in the long run. I mind occasionally when I have to fit into a swimsuit, or strip naked in front of Terry, but for the most part, I don't give a shit.
Therefore, it really gets my goat that now, when people notice I've lost a significant amount of weight due to being sick, and they tell me I look "good now", I want to ask them what the fuck that is supposed to mean, even though I know full well what it means.
It means that fat is unattractive. Fat is not nice. Fat is ugly, and if you can get rid of it through any means, you are successful. It doesn't matter if your insides are rebelling against you and the loss is a result, if you have lost that weight, you are a winner.
And I just want to say, you know what? Thanks, but no. I looked fine when I was twenty pounds - even forty pounds - overweight, and no amount of weight loss will change that. I look how I look, just with more or less padding, and telling me I "look better now" makes me wonder where the fuck you've been all of these 27 years. Why does losing weight change how I look? I look the same, only smaller. It's not like I had fucking plastic surgery. It's fat. It's not evil. And I look the exact same as I did a year ago, only now I'm a size 14 or 16 instead of an 18 or 20.
Are we that jaded by weight loss that losing some weight changes our point of views on how people look? Do twenty pounds really make that much of a difference, or is it all in our heads? I personally think it's the latter rather than the former, and while I understand it's all meant well when people say I "look better now", the fact is that I'm not - I'm sick now, and losing weight is negative - and thus I can't help but resent it.
So, okay. Am I overreacting or are we really all just afraid of fat people? Go ahead, tell me.
Therefore, it really gets my goat that now, when people notice I've lost a significant amount of weight due to being sick, and they tell me I look "good now", I want to ask them what the fuck that is supposed to mean, even though I know full well what it means.
It means that fat is unattractive. Fat is not nice. Fat is ugly, and if you can get rid of it through any means, you are successful. It doesn't matter if your insides are rebelling against you and the loss is a result, if you have lost that weight, you are a winner.
And I just want to say, you know what? Thanks, but no. I looked fine when I was twenty pounds - even forty pounds - overweight, and no amount of weight loss will change that. I look how I look, just with more or less padding, and telling me I "look better now" makes me wonder where the fuck you've been all of these 27 years. Why does losing weight change how I look? I look the same, only smaller. It's not like I had fucking plastic surgery. It's fat. It's not evil. And I look the exact same as I did a year ago, only now I'm a size 14 or 16 instead of an 18 or 20.
Are we that jaded by weight loss that losing some weight changes our point of views on how people look? Do twenty pounds really make that much of a difference, or is it all in our heads? I personally think it's the latter rather than the former, and while I understand it's all meant well when people say I "look better now", the fact is that I'm not - I'm sick now, and losing weight is negative - and thus I can't help but resent it.
So, okay. Am I overreacting or are we really all just afraid of fat people? Go ahead, tell me.