Snow and Ash - Eleven Part 1
Shige:
One morning I wake up and as I sleepily make my way to the kitchen for breakfast, I realize that I can’t hear the woman next door who religiously says a 10-minute goodbye to her overweight cat at this time every morning until I think about her. I can’t hear the man downstairs with an overly perverted mind nor see the graphic images until I think about him.
For minutes I just stand here, not knowing what to do.
It’s finally silent. The life that I’ve been desperately trying to scramble back together is now right in front of me. All around me.
---
As I walk to class, it all feels normal. Like nothing ever changed. Terrified that I once again lost the power, I read random people’s thoughts that I have no business knowing. One girl looks familiar, and I look through to see if I have a class with her. After a minute I realize she’s not moving. I quickly get out of her head and she continues on her way to her lab. She wasn’t moving because I didn’t let her. I didn’t tell her to.
Shaking my head, I continue on to class.
---
At lunch, as I sit in the cafeteria with a plate of curry rice in front of me, I get a call from Koyama. Must be his lunch break as well.
“Are you busy?”
“My stomach is.”
“Eh?”
“Go on. I’m at lunch.”
“Maybe I should try to move on too.”
“Can you do that?”
A pause. “It’s been a month, Shige. Without a single call other than the message he left towards the beginning telling me that he’d be over to pack some of his things. He’s been with her that entire time, and Massu says he looks happy at work. I get the feeling that I’m waiting for something that will never happen.”
I’ve never wanted them to break up. For the longest time it seemed like they were in the most stable relationship I’d ever seen, knowing what the other needed before a word was spoken, never getting in a fight that couldn’t be solved before night fell. What happened to them?
“If you think it’s for the best.”
“I don’t know what the best is. But it’s not this.”
“Then maybe you should. It’s just not going to be easy.”
“None of this is easy.”
A few moments slip by.
“Do you want to meet me for dinner tonight?” I offer. “We can go out somewhere, just the two of us.”
“That sounds good, actually.”
“I have some good news to tell you.”
---
It’s easier to concentrate at school but the workload still makes things stressful. I try not to look into people’s minds if I have another choice. I don’t like feeling like I’m intruding on other people’s lives.
Ryo walks into my apartment when I’m on one of my last mouthfuls of instant ramen. I can hear the door shut and when I look up at him, he is frowning.
I chew what is in my mouth and swallow, licking my lips. “Hey…” I say, not knowing what to make of the look. I can still feel emotions even if I choose not to, so I know he’s angry or disgusted at something.
He sits down next to me and that feeling becomes more evident with the closer proximity. His hand reaches out and grabs the Styrofoam cup. “You shouldn’t eat this crap.”
“It’s food.”
“Barely.”
I just stare at him blankly, wondering why he would expect me to have a four-course meal sitting in front of me. “I have two papers to write. I don’t exactly have time to cook.”
He’s disappointed - not in me but in himself. “…I could have made you something.”
“You work. And when you’re not, you’re out with friends or Mika-san. I was going to wait for you tonight but I got hungry.”
He eyes the cup once again. “Call me next time, okay?”
He leaves for a while, and I return to my laptop, staring at the screen for minutes upon minutes before finding a way to continue writing.
Just as I begin to hit another block, I stop and realize how quiet it is in here. Of course quiet is ideal for this situation, but I’m still not used to it. I’m expecting to hear someone’s voice and sometimes I even expect to see a scene from the future.
The silence is broken when I hear a key being inserted into the door. I smile. He left rather abruptly after getting a phone call and so I’m happy that he decided to come back.
He sits down next to me, leans over and presses a light kiss on my lips. “You’re so tense,” he observes as he trails a hand over my back. “Can’t you take a break?”
I lean forward and place my laptop on the coffee table. “A short one, I guess.” I turn to him, his face already close to mine and our lips meet and he kisses me slowly, as if the five minute break could last for days.
He pulls away with a frown. “You’re as stiff as a board.”
“Sorry?”
He pushes gently on my shoulders and I lie back, acquiescing even though I know I shouldn’t give in, shouldn’t do this right now and lose any focus I had left. But then he’s lying on top of me, a hand running up my side and the laptop screen begins to lose its appeal. “Just relax,” he whispers against my ear before kissing below it, continuing to do whatever he can to make me do just that.
He moves his leg, obviously uncomfortable with the way they are currently, and I know why when I hear one of my books fall to the floor. And with it, I’m pulled back into reality.
“I can relax when I finish this.”
He sits up rather reluctantly and gets off of me, allowing me to take my laptop off the coffee table and once again stare at the screen. Green, blue, yellow and red lines dance across it and I press a key, causing the word processor to come back.
---
After hours of work, I finally finish both papers and relief washes over me. My eyes travel to the empty cushions next to me on the couch. He’s been doing something for a while near the bedroom, and I figure he’s probably asleep until he steps into view.
“Your bath’s ready,” he says.
“Eh?” I say in surprise, not expecting that at all.
He responds defensively with a touch of embarrassment. “What?”
“Nothing…it’s just no one’s done that for me since I lived at home.”
“I had nothing else to do just wandering around here waiting for you…and besides, it’s a sign of love.”
I laugh, thinking it’s cute, but that only makes him feel even more awkward. “Thank you.”
I turn back to the screen, wanting to read one of the paragraphs over again and he just stands there waiting.
“It’s going to get cold.”
“Okay, okay.” I press the save button and close the laptop, and when I head towards the bedroom he grabs my wrist.
“Relax. I don’t want to sleep next to a rock tonight.”
I nod and once again head towards the hot bath that is waiting for me. The moment I see it I want to jump in right away, and when I do, I can’t help but feel happy that he did this for me.
He probably knew that instead of taking time to relax, I’d probably just flop into bed and fall asleep just like that after finishing. He’s always like this, supporting me, staying out of the way but stepping in when he feels it’s necessary.
The bath is amazing and I spend as much time in it as I can until the water starts getting cold. I wrap a towel around my waist and when I step out of the bathroom, all the lights are turned off except for the one near the bed where Ryo is sleeping. After saving my work on my laptop and shutting it down, I head towards my bedroom, conscious of the squeak of the floorboards right outside the door.
I flop into bed, but he doesn’t seem to notice. I know I should change into pajamas, but spending a few minutes lying here before I do so wouldn’t hurt.
I turn to Ryo, lazily sliding a hand over his back. “You asleep?”
“Yes,” he mumbles into the pillow.
I smile and he turns to me, eyeing the towel with the eye he’s not rubbing with his fist. “Since when do you sleep naked?
“It’s my bed.”
He takes his hand down and I can tell he’s almost as tired as I am. “I’m not complaining, just wondering.”
“Thanks for the bath.” I’m lying on my stomach, my face half hidden in the pillow, and suddenly I’m too lazy to move.
He must not be feeling that way because he moves closer to me, a hand on my shoulder and his lips trailing kisses on my back.
“Do I get a massage too?” I ask, teasing his generosity tonight.
“Greedy now, aren’t we?”
I laugh and give up, though it might have been nice. He moves, and suddenly his legs are on either side of me, and he sits on top of me. He’s actually giving me a massage.
“I’m proud of you, you know.”
“For?”
“Getting to this point even though it wasn’t easy with the new power.” He pauses for a moment. “You’re stronger than I thought.”
The formal massage stops, as I had a feeling it would, and he takes the towel off, dropping it to the floor and passes his hands over me, touching, caressing, kissing wherever he wishes to. I sigh in contentment and he flips me over, finding my lips and slipping his tongue past them.
Ryo:
I wake up and my head is pounding. For a few moments I have peace before the memory of last night comes back to me, hitting like a brick straight into my chest.
I’m still in my work clothes but I don’t know how I managed to go to work today.
Sounds of him moaning and gasping, words pleading for more, sounds I used to love are now enough to make me sick.
---
LJ still hates my longer chapters. ._. Part 2
One morning I wake up and as I sleepily make my way to the kitchen for breakfast, I realize that I can’t hear the woman next door who religiously says a 10-minute goodbye to her overweight cat at this time every morning until I think about her. I can’t hear the man downstairs with an overly perverted mind nor see the graphic images until I think about him.
For minutes I just stand here, not knowing what to do.
It’s finally silent. The life that I’ve been desperately trying to scramble back together is now right in front of me. All around me.
---
As I walk to class, it all feels normal. Like nothing ever changed. Terrified that I once again lost the power, I read random people’s thoughts that I have no business knowing. One girl looks familiar, and I look through to see if I have a class with her. After a minute I realize she’s not moving. I quickly get out of her head and she continues on her way to her lab. She wasn’t moving because I didn’t let her. I didn’t tell her to.
Shaking my head, I continue on to class.
---
At lunch, as I sit in the cafeteria with a plate of curry rice in front of me, I get a call from Koyama. Must be his lunch break as well.
“Are you busy?”
“My stomach is.”
“Eh?”
“Go on. I’m at lunch.”
“Maybe I should try to move on too.”
“Can you do that?”
A pause. “It’s been a month, Shige. Without a single call other than the message he left towards the beginning telling me that he’d be over to pack some of his things. He’s been with her that entire time, and Massu says he looks happy at work. I get the feeling that I’m waiting for something that will never happen.”
I’ve never wanted them to break up. For the longest time it seemed like they were in the most stable relationship I’d ever seen, knowing what the other needed before a word was spoken, never getting in a fight that couldn’t be solved before night fell. What happened to them?
“If you think it’s for the best.”
“I don’t know what the best is. But it’s not this.”
“Then maybe you should. It’s just not going to be easy.”
“None of this is easy.”
A few moments slip by.
“Do you want to meet me for dinner tonight?” I offer. “We can go out somewhere, just the two of us.”
“That sounds good, actually.”
“I have some good news to tell you.”
---
It’s easier to concentrate at school but the workload still makes things stressful. I try not to look into people’s minds if I have another choice. I don’t like feeling like I’m intruding on other people’s lives.
Ryo walks into my apartment when I’m on one of my last mouthfuls of instant ramen. I can hear the door shut and when I look up at him, he is frowning.
I chew what is in my mouth and swallow, licking my lips. “Hey…” I say, not knowing what to make of the look. I can still feel emotions even if I choose not to, so I know he’s angry or disgusted at something.
He sits down next to me and that feeling becomes more evident with the closer proximity. His hand reaches out and grabs the Styrofoam cup. “You shouldn’t eat this crap.”
“It’s food.”
“Barely.”
I just stare at him blankly, wondering why he would expect me to have a four-course meal sitting in front of me. “I have two papers to write. I don’t exactly have time to cook.”
He’s disappointed - not in me but in himself. “…I could have made you something.”
“You work. And when you’re not, you’re out with friends or Mika-san. I was going to wait for you tonight but I got hungry.”
He eyes the cup once again. “Call me next time, okay?”
He leaves for a while, and I return to my laptop, staring at the screen for minutes upon minutes before finding a way to continue writing.
Just as I begin to hit another block, I stop and realize how quiet it is in here. Of course quiet is ideal for this situation, but I’m still not used to it. I’m expecting to hear someone’s voice and sometimes I even expect to see a scene from the future.
The silence is broken when I hear a key being inserted into the door. I smile. He left rather abruptly after getting a phone call and so I’m happy that he decided to come back.
He sits down next to me, leans over and presses a light kiss on my lips. “You’re so tense,” he observes as he trails a hand over my back. “Can’t you take a break?”
I lean forward and place my laptop on the coffee table. “A short one, I guess.” I turn to him, his face already close to mine and our lips meet and he kisses me slowly, as if the five minute break could last for days.
He pulls away with a frown. “You’re as stiff as a board.”
“Sorry?”
He pushes gently on my shoulders and I lie back, acquiescing even though I know I shouldn’t give in, shouldn’t do this right now and lose any focus I had left. But then he’s lying on top of me, a hand running up my side and the laptop screen begins to lose its appeal. “Just relax,” he whispers against my ear before kissing below it, continuing to do whatever he can to make me do just that.
He moves his leg, obviously uncomfortable with the way they are currently, and I know why when I hear one of my books fall to the floor. And with it, I’m pulled back into reality.
“I can relax when I finish this.”
He sits up rather reluctantly and gets off of me, allowing me to take my laptop off the coffee table and once again stare at the screen. Green, blue, yellow and red lines dance across it and I press a key, causing the word processor to come back.
---
After hours of work, I finally finish both papers and relief washes over me. My eyes travel to the empty cushions next to me on the couch. He’s been doing something for a while near the bedroom, and I figure he’s probably asleep until he steps into view.
“Your bath’s ready,” he says.
“Eh?” I say in surprise, not expecting that at all.
He responds defensively with a touch of embarrassment. “What?”
“Nothing…it’s just no one’s done that for me since I lived at home.”
“I had nothing else to do just wandering around here waiting for you…and besides, it’s a sign of love.”
I laugh, thinking it’s cute, but that only makes him feel even more awkward. “Thank you.”
I turn back to the screen, wanting to read one of the paragraphs over again and he just stands there waiting.
“It’s going to get cold.”
“Okay, okay.” I press the save button and close the laptop, and when I head towards the bedroom he grabs my wrist.
“Relax. I don’t want to sleep next to a rock tonight.”
I nod and once again head towards the hot bath that is waiting for me. The moment I see it I want to jump in right away, and when I do, I can’t help but feel happy that he did this for me.
He probably knew that instead of taking time to relax, I’d probably just flop into bed and fall asleep just like that after finishing. He’s always like this, supporting me, staying out of the way but stepping in when he feels it’s necessary.
The bath is amazing and I spend as much time in it as I can until the water starts getting cold. I wrap a towel around my waist and when I step out of the bathroom, all the lights are turned off except for the one near the bed where Ryo is sleeping. After saving my work on my laptop and shutting it down, I head towards my bedroom, conscious of the squeak of the floorboards right outside the door.
I flop into bed, but he doesn’t seem to notice. I know I should change into pajamas, but spending a few minutes lying here before I do so wouldn’t hurt.
I turn to Ryo, lazily sliding a hand over his back. “You asleep?”
“Yes,” he mumbles into the pillow.
I smile and he turns to me, eyeing the towel with the eye he’s not rubbing with his fist. “Since when do you sleep naked?
“It’s my bed.”
He takes his hand down and I can tell he’s almost as tired as I am. “I’m not complaining, just wondering.”
“Thanks for the bath.” I’m lying on my stomach, my face half hidden in the pillow, and suddenly I’m too lazy to move.
He must not be feeling that way because he moves closer to me, a hand on my shoulder and his lips trailing kisses on my back.
“Do I get a massage too?” I ask, teasing his generosity tonight.
“Greedy now, aren’t we?”
I laugh and give up, though it might have been nice. He moves, and suddenly his legs are on either side of me, and he sits on top of me. He’s actually giving me a massage.
“I’m proud of you, you know.”
“For?”
“Getting to this point even though it wasn’t easy with the new power.” He pauses for a moment. “You’re stronger than I thought.”
The formal massage stops, as I had a feeling it would, and he takes the towel off, dropping it to the floor and passes his hands over me, touching, caressing, kissing wherever he wishes to. I sigh in contentment and he flips me over, finding my lips and slipping his tongue past them.
Ryo:
I wake up and my head is pounding. For a few moments I have peace before the memory of last night comes back to me, hitting like a brick straight into my chest.
I’m still in my work clothes but I don’t know how I managed to go to work today.
Sounds of him moaning and gasping, words pleading for more, sounds I used to love are now enough to make me sick.
---
LJ still hates my longer chapters. ._. Part 2