Fic: Bowed
Title: Bow
Author: yukimagik
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Quinn-centric, but with a few appearances from Mr. Shuester, Mrs. Puckerman, unrequited Kurt/Jesse, Brittany/Santana, Quinn/Puck and the beautiful Glee-baby.
Spoilers: All the way to Bad Reputation.
Warnings: I might have some facts wrong. I’m sorry if I do. This is also my first Glee fic and amazingly it’s not slash… much… There’s a bit of angst, slash (because, hello? Kurt’s gay!!!) and femmeslash (because everyone knows Brittany and Santana are totally doing it). I think that’s it. Maybe a bit OOC too. There's also no Beta to help me with this so sorry about any mistakes!
Words: 1.021
Summary: Quinn walked with her head bowed.
Disclaimer: They are not mine. If they were, Quinn would be Queen ad Kurt would be with Puck. Baby Drizzle's first name belongs to me because I picked it.
Bow
She bowed her head, too ashamed to look at anyone. She could feel their eyes on her, and even if it were just her imagination, because the novelty of her situation was long past gone, her face still burned as hot as the first time. She could hear them whispering furiously behind her back, gleeful that her life might be ruined. She could feel their hatred and disgust every time they looked at her, seeing how far she’d fallen.
She found herself wondering how she’d gotten to that point, where her head would bow as the geeks of McKinley High passed by her, and not the other way around. She’d been great one day, the most respected and feared girl in, what had felt like, the whole town. But now, with no parents to help her, living with the jock-ass who’d knocked her up and his family, and only hearing sniggers and mock coming from others, she felt alone in the universe.
Every day, the blond walked alone from class to class to glee club, and every day she felt lonelier and lonelier. No amount of music would ever fix what she did. No amount of jumping and twirling would make her feel safe and wanted. No amount of dancing and weird Lady Gaga clothes would make the judgement go away and her head rise once again.
She often wondered how to carry on. At the beginning, with an unwanted baby and drama-filled pregnancy, she had felt repeatedly drained of life. She had poured every bit of herself into hiding her condition, hiding the real father and hiding her real feelings she thought the peace and quiet she now got would be a welcome change. But, obviously, it wasn’t. If anything, it was actually worse.
So every day, Quinn got up, got dressed and ate something Mrs. Puckerman had arranged, head bowed. Always bowed. Afraid of the judgement of a much older and wiser - even if Jew - woman. Every day, she drove to school with Puck, head bowed in shame of needing his sympathy. At school, she tried to command her body and mind to feel only numbness, knowing there was no avoiding the shame and the humiliation. And every day she walked, head bowed to everyone, almost in a “you were right about me” way. Or maybe “you are right about me”.
She prided herself of making it as far as she got without breaking, but there’s only so much a person could stand. She tried and tried but eventually she got tired, exhausted of feeling weak but incapable of rising on her own. She made a desperate last attempt to fight her loneliness by trying once again to achieve what she had once lost, but it didn’t work.
When Mr. Shuester found out about the Glist, she really thought it was the end for her. No matter how nice her teacher was, he couldn’t help her. But he did make her realize that she was still Quinn Fabray, former cheerleader but still a bitch to all the lowlifes. He showed her she was still herself and that maybe it was time to show everyone Quinn Fabray bowed to no one anymore. So, after dodging another bullet and a silent prayer to the heavenly Father, Quinn put a hand on her enlarged stomach, quietly telling her daughter to hold on, because the show was about to start.
Maybe it was her decision to dust herself up and try again or her team mates’ reaction when she sang these words with the same power as the beautiful Aaliyah, but, just like McKinley High started seeing her with new eyes, she saw them with a new set two. And what she saw made her feel like smacking herself on the forehead. How could she ever think she was alone?
Kurt was the first to notice her new attitude, hugging her after her performance and whispering a heartfelt “it’s good to have you back” in her ear. The next day, at lunch, Quinn noticed how his head bowed when Rachel and Jesse - back together and as sickly as before - walked by their table. Frowning, she realized he had always been there, dancing side-by-side with her on their latest performances. She vowed to never bow her head again, for it made her miss the young boy’s own pain.
Brittany also hugged her, under the seemingly bored but ever-so-watchful stare from Santana. There were no meaningful words - because “everyone knows Kurt’s in the football team, Brittany, and we are not looking for Mr. Shuester’s duck!” - exchanged between the three, but later that day, when a jock tried to slushy her, he found himself tripping as he walked by the two cheerleaders. Quinn vowed to never bow her head again, for it made her miss Santana’s bowed head with a look of shy pride when the other blond grabbed her hand, rewarding her for doing something good for someone else.
Puck, she realized, contrary to every other day, avoided her like the plague. At home - for she realized that’s what it had become, without her permission - she found herself staring at Puck’s bowed head. Her first thought was ‘When did he shave his head?’ followed closely by ‘Why is his head bowed? ’ Later, she would pray her head would bow again, never again in shame but always in humility, because her new boyfriend had been ashamed of himself and had worried she’d go back to seeing him as nothing more than a piece of garbage when her head finally lifted.
And, a few months later, when little Mary Drizzle Puckerman was born, Quinn vowed to never again be ashamed of such a blessed and perfect gift. Surrounded by her friends and her new family, she realized that maybe being shown some hell was something that had needed to happen for her to finally see herself: a teenage mom, parentless, but no longer with her head bowed.
And of course, now that she didn’t risk hurting the baby by jumping, flipping and kicking ass, she would show them just who exactly Quinn Fabray was.