My world is widening
Recently, I've been doing really really great. I am not sure how to express this in words. But it's a great sense of inner peace, gratitude, light, empowerment, aliveness. A great inner joy to simply "to be". I now try to maintain this feeling as much as possible and not let my environment deteriorate it, and it's not simple work. However, when I receive encouragement from people is one of those times I feel deep gratitude and hope.
Steadily, I've been changing, and I even force myself to change. I'm changing old habits that have kept me back. In the past, I think I've been a person very wary of change, very attached to my stability. But now, I see change, struggles, as a way of growing up. ^^
I force myself to reach out toward other people, to my parents, my family, my old friends, my new friends. I used to give many excuses to explain the distances I maintained with people. Through recent times, I've realized that the distances were caused by just me not putting the effort into caring for others. In this whole process, I feel as if I am recovering many things I’ve lost while discovering new joy. It is as if I went through this rebirth, but at the same time I am re-discovering many happy feelings coming from the past.
People tell me I've changed and that they are touched by my change. For example, my family. It's not that I was in conflict with my family, but we are somewhat distant. It's only recently I've had my first real talk with my uncle, my aunt, and my cousin. My uncle told me "Your heart has opened." My younger cousin told me directly "You've really changed, Ching Ching". Those encouragements that really touched me. We've lost so much contact in these years, and I have never really put my heart into caring for them. I've also been trying to close that generation gap between me and my parents. I talk with them so much more than before, and show my care more openly than before. I try my best to contribute in the ways I can. Mutual encouragement is so important, I have discovered. Of course, this does not mean I have perfect relationships now or anything, for there are still many steps to take, but at least I am a step further into harmonizing them.
I don't know how much of that I was able to express well, but those were my sincere thoughts. =)
I've been having this busy school-work schedule, but I still do not forget other important things as well. My midterms didn't go that well, but that's okay too. This is my last week of work! I've really enjoyed the work, but it is a relief in terms of time pressure for other things. By the way, my music concert got changed (or was initially) to December 9, at 8:00 pm. If it is possible, please come ^_^
This is this week's Ikebana arrangement. My teacher is stopping lessons soon, since she is going to have an operation, and it is winter as well. But we'll restart next year. =) This time, it's lilies!! =O (And it's a pic taken at my home)
It's another style this time! Basic slanting style, with different angles =O This time, the sky is the left longest one, the human is the middle branch, and the earth is flowers.
I was doing this class reading, and I found this part of the text that perfectly described the feeling I have when I gaze at stars. This is my sharing ^^ (sorry if there are typos)
For months you have wanted to take a break from work and the monotony of everyday life, and recently some friends invited you to vacation with them at their mountain cabin. At first you hesitate. This is not the kind of trip you had in mind. After reconsidering, you realize that a remote getaway with friends is just the change of pace you need.
Now, three weeks later, you have been driving all day and have just arrived at the cabin. It is late afternoon, and the air is so cold you can see your breath. Your friends welcome you warmly, and there’s a nice fire in the living room. Your hosts show you to your room and give you a short tour. Soon you are all fixing supper together, and during the meal you talk of your work, your zany relatives, and your mutual friends. Everyone is laughing and having a good time. It’s confirmed: coming here was a great idea.
After supper, your friends won’t let you help with the dishes (of course there is no dishwasher). “I think I’ll go out for a walk,” you say, putting on your heavy jacket with the hood. As the front door closes behind you, you step into a world transformed by twilight.
What strikes you first is the smell in the air. There is nothing quite like the scent of burning wood-almost like incense. It fits perfectly with the chill. You walk farther, beyond the clearing that surrounds the house, and suddenly you are on the path beneath tall pine trees. As a strong breeze rises, the trees make an eerie, whispering sound. It is not exactly a rustle, more like a rush. You recall reading once that the sound of wind in pines is “the sound of eternity.”
Moving on, you find yourself walking along the mountain’s ridge. To your left you see the evening star against the blue-black sky. To your right, it’s still light and you see why you are cold: you are literally above the clouds. You sit down on a flat rock, pull on your hood, and watch the pine tree silhouettes disappear as darkness spreads its thickening veil.
It’s difficult to pull yourself away. All around you stars begin to pop out, and soon they are blooming as thick as wildflowers. Overhead, the mass of stars resembles a river-it must be the Milky Way. You get up and slowly turn full circle to take it all in.
You had almost forgotten about stars. You don’t see them much back home, let alone think of them. Where you live, stars appear in movies. Here, though, stars are mysterious points of light. You remember what you once learned: stars are so distant that their light can take millions of years to reach earth. You realize that some of the stars you see may not longer exist; only their light remains.
At last you begin to walk back to the cabin. A cluster of clouds emerges on the horizon, lit from behind by the rising moon. You see your friends’ wooden cabin in the distance. From here it looks so small. The stars seem like the permanent, real world, while the house appears little and temporary-more like a question mark in the great book of the universe.
Even though this does not mean that all our experiences are unimportant, but when I have a similar experience as gazing at stars, all my problems go away; all my attachments causing me worry and stress diminish in front of the splendour of the universe.
Finally, thanks for reading and listening ^^
Steadily, I've been changing, and I even force myself to change. I'm changing old habits that have kept me back. In the past, I think I've been a person very wary of change, very attached to my stability. But now, I see change, struggles, as a way of growing up. ^^
I force myself to reach out toward other people, to my parents, my family, my old friends, my new friends. I used to give many excuses to explain the distances I maintained with people. Through recent times, I've realized that the distances were caused by just me not putting the effort into caring for others. In this whole process, I feel as if I am recovering many things I’ve lost while discovering new joy. It is as if I went through this rebirth, but at the same time I am re-discovering many happy feelings coming from the past.
People tell me I've changed and that they are touched by my change. For example, my family. It's not that I was in conflict with my family, but we are somewhat distant. It's only recently I've had my first real talk with my uncle, my aunt, and my cousin. My uncle told me "Your heart has opened." My younger cousin told me directly "You've really changed, Ching Ching". Those encouragements that really touched me. We've lost so much contact in these years, and I have never really put my heart into caring for them. I've also been trying to close that generation gap between me and my parents. I talk with them so much more than before, and show my care more openly than before. I try my best to contribute in the ways I can. Mutual encouragement is so important, I have discovered. Of course, this does not mean I have perfect relationships now or anything, for there are still many steps to take, but at least I am a step further into harmonizing them.
I don't know how much of that I was able to express well, but those were my sincere thoughts. =)
I've been having this busy school-work schedule, but I still do not forget other important things as well. My midterms didn't go that well, but that's okay too. This is my last week of work! I've really enjoyed the work, but it is a relief in terms of time pressure for other things. By the way, my music concert got changed (or was initially) to December 9, at 8:00 pm. If it is possible, please come ^_^
This is this week's Ikebana arrangement. My teacher is stopping lessons soon, since she is going to have an operation, and it is winter as well. But we'll restart next year. =) This time, it's lilies!! =O (And it's a pic taken at my home)
It's another style this time! Basic slanting style, with different angles =O This time, the sky is the left longest one, the human is the middle branch, and the earth is flowers.
I was doing this class reading, and I found this part of the text that perfectly described the feeling I have when I gaze at stars. This is my sharing ^^ (sorry if there are typos)
For months you have wanted to take a break from work and the monotony of everyday life, and recently some friends invited you to vacation with them at their mountain cabin. At first you hesitate. This is not the kind of trip you had in mind. After reconsidering, you realize that a remote getaway with friends is just the change of pace you need.
Now, three weeks later, you have been driving all day and have just arrived at the cabin. It is late afternoon, and the air is so cold you can see your breath. Your friends welcome you warmly, and there’s a nice fire in the living room. Your hosts show you to your room and give you a short tour. Soon you are all fixing supper together, and during the meal you talk of your work, your zany relatives, and your mutual friends. Everyone is laughing and having a good time. It’s confirmed: coming here was a great idea.
After supper, your friends won’t let you help with the dishes (of course there is no dishwasher). “I think I’ll go out for a walk,” you say, putting on your heavy jacket with the hood. As the front door closes behind you, you step into a world transformed by twilight.
What strikes you first is the smell in the air. There is nothing quite like the scent of burning wood-almost like incense. It fits perfectly with the chill. You walk farther, beyond the clearing that surrounds the house, and suddenly you are on the path beneath tall pine trees. As a strong breeze rises, the trees make an eerie, whispering sound. It is not exactly a rustle, more like a rush. You recall reading once that the sound of wind in pines is “the sound of eternity.”
Moving on, you find yourself walking along the mountain’s ridge. To your left you see the evening star against the blue-black sky. To your right, it’s still light and you see why you are cold: you are literally above the clouds. You sit down on a flat rock, pull on your hood, and watch the pine tree silhouettes disappear as darkness spreads its thickening veil.
It’s difficult to pull yourself away. All around you stars begin to pop out, and soon they are blooming as thick as wildflowers. Overhead, the mass of stars resembles a river-it must be the Milky Way. You get up and slowly turn full circle to take it all in.
You had almost forgotten about stars. You don’t see them much back home, let alone think of them. Where you live, stars appear in movies. Here, though, stars are mysterious points of light. You remember what you once learned: stars are so distant that their light can take millions of years to reach earth. You realize that some of the stars you see may not longer exist; only their light remains.
At last you begin to walk back to the cabin. A cluster of clouds emerges on the horizon, lit from behind by the rising moon. You see your friends’ wooden cabin in the distance. From here it looks so small. The stars seem like the permanent, real world, while the house appears little and temporary-more like a question mark in the great book of the universe.
Even though this does not mean that all our experiences are unimportant, but when I have a similar experience as gazing at stars, all my problems go away; all my attachments causing me worry and stress diminish in front of the splendour of the universe.
Finally, thanks for reading and listening ^^